Osama at the pearly gates

There, George Washington greets him. "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face.
 
Patrick Henry approaches and says, "You wanted to end the Americans'
liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punches Osama in the nose.
 
James Madison comes up next, and says, "This is why I allowed the Federal
government to provide for the common defense!" He strikes Osama on the
kneecap with a large spiked hammer.

Osama is subjected to a series of similar beatings from John Randolph, John
Adams, James Monroe, and a steady procession of other people who have the
same love for liberty and the United States. As he writhes on the ground,
Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is
to be judged.

 As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination,
he screams in panic,

"This is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you.
What did you think I said?"