"CONCEPTS"

Using TWO cows to explain intricate CONCEPTS:

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to
your neighbor. Then you covet it.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it
to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his.
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty
for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing
you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then
take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel
righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and
sour.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you
the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage which
ultimately blows up the cows.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a
bull, and build a herd of cows
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you
to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows The government takes
them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours
the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back
to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce
the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin
an announcement to the analysts that you have reduced your expenses. Your
stock goes up.
A FRENCH CORPORATION. You have two cows You go on strike because you
want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they
are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of
their class at cow school.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they
are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
 
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop
counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th
Five-Year-Plan in the last three months. The Russian Mafia shows up and
takes over however many cows you really have.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you.
You charge for storing them for --- others. If they give milk, you tell no one.
 
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a
partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows. You
expropriate them. The American corporation goes Chapter 11.