SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Yesterday you took my license away and today you expect me to show it to
you!"

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A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She
asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


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KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"

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BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ;
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!! "
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not that stupid. We're
going at night!"


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FINAL EXAM
The blonde reports for her university final examination that consists of
yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall,
stares at t he question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of
inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the
coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and! No, for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is
still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen
desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator,
alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam
in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

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A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs,and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard
of someone naming dogs like that?" "HelOOOOOOO," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"