This page offers a little support and advice to younger crossdressers.
One of my responsibilities both as an older person, and as someone who has gone through a lot of this, is to try to offer some guidance.
I first crossdressed when I was 5 years old--I put on an old blouse and skirt and hid under the bed covers. My mother discovered me, and, looking a little confused, told me that I shouldn't do that.
I didn't dress again for several years, but the desire was always there. When I watched television I constantly hoped to see a crossdressing character or theme. Many cartoons had crossdressing scenes, which I loved.
I thought often about being a girl. My idea of heaven was a place where you could just look at a picture of a girl and you would wake up in that scene as her.
I had a fantasy of a machine that would turn me into a girl: I'd enter at one end, get onto a conveyer belt, and would go through various steps until I emerged as a girl at the other end.
I often prayed at night to wake up the next morning as a girl. I would sometimes dream I was a girl. In the dreams I would be wearing a dress or walking down the street with a cute pony-tail. I'd try to hold onto the feeling of these dreams for as long as possible. When I was aware that I was dreaming, I'd try to control the scene into one where I was a girl.
I never felt that I *was* a girl or a girl trapped in a man's body. I just strongly wanted to *become* a girl. As a boy I did reasonably well. Though shy and anxious, I was smart and got attention for that. The older boys scared me, but I was able to defend myself against the bullies my own age.
In high school I started to dress again,"borrowing" my sisters' clothes from the dirty-clothes bin or from her bedroom, and occasionally my mothers' lingerie.
Then there was no internet--if there had been, I don't know what would have happened.
In college I was too busy to crossdress, and dorm rooms offered no privacy anyway. But I did smoke marijuana, and, when I did, the fantasy emerged. Both during high school and college, I never dated girls (or anyone else).
In graduate school I was again very busy, but I did have girlfriends. When they were gone I would sometimes wear their clothes, which felt really nice.
So that's my history during my young years. There's no need to talk about later stuff here, except to say that now I basically crossdress once a week or every couple of weeks to go out. The rest of the time I spend as a guy.
This is just to let you know where I'm coming from. Anyway, the important topic is you, not me.
If you are a young crossdresser--especially if you are experiencing a lot of confusion or unhappiness about it, then here are some things to consider.
You are not alone in this! It might seem like Life has singled you out for abuse. But there's a lot of other people out there feeling the same thing. And all those who have had a difficult time share a special bond. They recognize, and feel an instinctive responsibility to help each other. The best way to express this is the lines from a song:
I kept my world protected.
I made it through the rain,
and kept my point of view.
I made it through the rain,
and found myself respected
by the others who,
got rained on too.
and made it through.