| What does Tri-Ess do for crossdressers? Crossdressers receive a quarterly magazine, the Mirror, and access to a wide array of e-lists, plus a Membership Directory and the annual Holiday En Femme conference. |
| Are there programs for spouses as well? Spouses receive their own quarterly newsletter, the Sweetheart Connection, plus internet-based resources and the annual Spouses� and Partners� International Conference for Education (SPICE). |
| Are there local Tri-Ess groups? There are over two dozen local chapters across the US, and several more in the formative stage. |
| What do chapters do? Chapters provide safe, family-friendly spaces for social interaction for crossdressers and their spouses and family members. Meeting programs include �how-to�s�; theme parties; peer support exercises; guest speakers; even shopping at sympathetic businesses. Some meetings may involve crossdressing, while others may not. Some chapters have special gatherings for spouses only, and/or for couples. More experienced members mentor newcomers, and chapters publish newsletters and operate e-lists and websites to foster communication among their members and to educate the public. |
| I�m not ready to see my husband in a dress, let alone a whole room full of men in dresses. Is there some way my husband and I could meet another couple first, without the crossdressing? Certainly! Chapter officers always interview potential new members before inviting them to a chapter meeting, and couples interview couples. When you are ready to meet other chapter members, you may have the option of attending a non-crossdressed gathering. There you can get to know people as their ordinary selves, before meeting them as crossdressers. Such meetings are wonderful icebreakers for new crossdressers and wives! |
| I�m afraid that once my husband starts dressing, he will want to do it more and more! Here is where you two must communicate and negotiate clear boundaries. He may feel the urge to pour too large a share of family money, time, and energy into his crossdressing activities. Together you should determine mutual goals for your careers, children, and yes, the crossdressing. |
| But he keeps trampling the boundaries! You may need to enlist the help of a therapist to sort out the issues. He or she should be familiar with crossdressing and provide a level playing field for both parties. It also helps to be part of a Tri-Ess chapter, where you can get the advice of other couples who have dealt with these issues. |
| His Internet friends are telling him he should take female hormones. Isn�t that dangerous? Yes! Recent studies have shown that taking hormones to treat menopause symptoms can have serious side effects for genetic women, but men on hormones usually take several times that dose! Side effects include liver damage, strokes, and heart attacks. |
| What about our children? Should we tell them? What should we tell them, and when? Children�s needs come first. Protecting them from possible gender confusion and the burden of secret-keeping must be weighed against the effects of parental deceit and the odds of disastrous discovery. Adolescence is the worst time to tell; earlier in childhood or in young adulthood is best. |
| Where can I get more information? Tri-Ess has many articles on crossdressing-related subjects. You may reach Tri-Ess through our Main Page. |
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