Okay, so I'm sure that you are like, "WTF? Why are you changing your mind about this page?" Well, as I have deducted- it is pretty hard to come up with an intereting topic and keep it alive. So, I came up with a better idea. I'm going to answer all of the questions that drive you insane and give you an answer and then you can have peace of mind!!!! Isn't that great?
Sweet. Well, ask me any question at all and I will post the question, and the answer right here!!!
Question: "What should I do if someone is ignoring me?"
Answer: This may be because of a few reasons. What you should do first is bother the person incessantly. If they still ignore you, poke them hard and repetively. If they still won't pay any attention to you, I advise blasting them with an airhorn until they acknowledge you. If that still doesn't work, the person is very dense and should be shot immediatly. (Question sent in by: Unknown)
Question: "My Ford Tempo won't shift out of second gear. What should I do?" (Sent in by Richard Marcillioni)
Answer: You will need the following tools: A sledgehammer, a gallon of acetone, a Bic lighter (avaliable at any gas station), and a Wendy's Double Bacon Cheeseburger with fries and a medium soda. Beat the car senseless with the hammer until you feel better. Douse car in acetone and light on fire with the lighter. Stand back and indulge upon the burger while you watch it burn. Go to your insurance company and claim that some hooligan in a bus hit you and your car burst into flames. Then buy a decent car. Like a Charger.
Question: "Why am I on fire?" (Sent in by T. D. McMullan)
Answer: Because you were too close to something and now you are paying the price. Don't be so stupid next time.
*Correctness of answer may not be totally or even a little bit correct. Perform anything that is answered at YOUR OWN RISK.
