LOI KRATHONG (don’t pronounce that “H”) is the name of a mysterious holiday which crept up on us recently.

 

It happens when the moon is full in November.  Apparently the River spirits, and the waterway spirits in general, are angry with the Thais for tossing food, plastic bags, flip-flops, dead animals, copious quantities of snot, and whatnot in the waterways.  So today is the day that you make amends with the river for all the junk you threw in.  You also can use the occasion to make a fresh new start, sending your worries and troubles down the river, in a literal sense.

 

This being Thailand, you say you are sorry to the river for throwing junk in by throwing more junk in, namely, a krathong.  The krathong is a crown- or bowl-shaped flower arrangement; the crown’s points are formed by banana leaves.  Ideally, this thing should float on the water, keeping aloft three sticks of incense and a lit yellow candle, and gently drift downstream.  The name comes from the action: you “loi” (float) the “krathong” (thingy).  Ideally, you should also do this in Sukhothai, where this whole thing was invented by a bored courtier, but who can remember to make reservations a year in advance?  So we went to the Chao Phraya--the Brown Liver.

 

There is an atmosphere somewhat reminiscent of a country fair; everyone is there either to buy or sell krathongs.  Some are small and pathetic looking -- they cost 20 baht, although bargains are to be had.  Others are the height and circumference of truck tires -- I am sure the river spirits are overjoyed when they capsize.  Actually, it was also like a county fair in that wonderful fried food was abundant.

 

Deafening fireworks were also launched; many more than we got to hear at the eclipse. Like most other people, we took a ferry to the other side of the river (the boring side, actually), and sent off our krathongs.  Mine, with a massive lotus in the center, immediately tipped over and fled under the boat I was standing on.  Bad omen?  Can’t be sure.  Perhaps the spirits simply wished to accept my gift as rapidly as possible.  Most other krathongs did manage to make it a little way, until they sunk or where run over by the numerous ferries.  Luckily this year the krathongs now float on a little cross-section of banana stalk -- before they were using styrofoam.  (Makes it easy to realize what caused this year’s flooding).

 

On a proper river without roaring motorboat traffic I am sure it would be poetic; mostly it was chaotic.  We sat at an outdoor bar right on the water to escape; the hotel put on a major fireworks display for the whole crowd.  Impressive. The whole time roman candles were going off everywhere; one shot past our table at about waist level.  We even sat next to some Thai movie stars, who were pale, thin, and butt-less.  One of them ate one of the worst desserts I have yet seen in Thailand (and believe me, Thailand is always winning gold medals in the Grossest Desserts categories), which was a martini glass full of red jelly with two small scoops on vanilla ice cream on top.  I can’t explain why, but it looked pretty revolting.

 

In other words, a good time had by all.