How to Enjoy Your Teenage Years to the Maximum Extent

            It is the universal wish of all teenagers around the world that they are allowed to enjoy their teenage years and not spend it being stuck in a little classroom listening to the boring lectures. It should be the common goal of all teens to seize the evanescent youth before it flies by while they spend their precious minutes covered in mountains of books worrying about the papers that are due two days later. So, here are the instructions that could help you enjoy your teenage years to the full extent, and they cannot be any simpler. The core of enjoying your youth is to always prioritize pleasure before responsibility.

            First, you have to tackle down the institution that is designed to torture every teenager in this nation – school. School is such a pain in the neck, isn’t it? So, just forget about it when you do not feel like going and hang out with your buddies in the movie theater or anywhere that is NOT near that horrible building. Instead of sighing and staring at the beautiful weather outside the classroom window, you should bask in the sunlight and enjoy your youth. However, you have to be aware that if you cut school 24-7, the police will arrest you and put you in the court. You have to be clever. Make sure that you attend classes so you meet the minimum requirement for completing each course. Although this doesn’t sound like fun, there are plenty of ways in which you can endure the dreaded hours of torture. You can just sleep through the entire science class, play on-line games instead of learning to design your own website in computer class, and doodle in the art class. Of course, the teachers will hate you, but their solemn warning about your outrageous behavior is only a petty complaint that you can forget about. You never have to worry about the tests or homework. If you don’t feel like doing the homework, then don’t bother handing it in. On the test paper, just write down your name so that the teacher can’t say you never took the exam. By the end of high school, you would not have anything in your brain and your parents’ tax money for education would have gone down the sewage…but no tears! You did not allow yourself to waste your precious youth.

            Managing your relationship with others is also important. If your friends are the nerdy type, then abandon them. Do not let yourself remember their loyalty to you because they are only going to stop you from having a good time with your new friends. The mere thought of those losers urging you to go to school and offering to help you study for your math final makes you shudder…doesn’t it? Your new friends should be the ones who have fake IDs so they could buy you beer whenever you want to drink it. Make sure that you obtain a fake ID, too, so you can go to the bars and clubs in the city with them. Friends are not the only people you have to deal with. Make sure that you yell at your parents whenever they try to give you a thoughtful advice during dinner. Threaten them that you are never going to sit down at the same table with them if they treat you like a baby. Don’t forget to make that loud, thumping noise when you walk up the stairs and smash the door a hard as you can when you enter your room! The best thing to do is to shut them out of your life altogether. Tell yourself over and over again, “How dare they try to control me when I’m all grown up?” Cut off all communications with them once you are over eighteen years old.

            And, of course, there’s always drugs and alcohol in the enjoyable teenage life. Beer may taste a little bitter when you first try it, but you will grow to love it later. Rum and vodka are stronger alcohol and they are essential at parties. Smoking is the most basic thing to do, just like breathing. The drugs that provide you with the ultimate pleasure are the ones that the cops are always searching for – ecstasy, crack, and various hallucinogens. They cost a lot and you may have to resort to stealing in order to buy them, but what the heck! Having some fun while you are still young is much more important than respecting the law. Don’t other listening to people warning that your body is going to become a human trash can if you keep injecting needles into yourself. After all, it’s your body. You’re the one who is in charge of it and no one should stop you from doing whatever you wish to do to it.

            After living your life to the fullest extent during your teenage years, it is likely that you would be homeless and a high school drop out. If you are not begging in the streets for money to fill your empty stomach, then you may be behind the bars, treated as the human trash. However, you’ve fulfilled your wish. You enjoyed every crazy minute and your precious youth is not wasted with writing hundreds of papers. Your brain remembers the good times instead of useless physics formulas… and it is now a sponge