In Defense of Housewives

 

"What do you want to do when you graduate from college?"

"A housewife"

"A housewife? What do you want to do that for?"

 

So, this was the conversation between two girls sitting next to me in the library. As I was overhearing their dialogue, I could not help getting the impression that one of the girls was obviously thinking that the job, housewife, is not good enough for a woman who graduated from college. Today's role model for women is often portrayed as an independent and outgoing career woman rather than the outdated image of a housewife: a woman who is totally dependant on her husband and does not have life of her own. However, this conception is most degrading toward those who occupy one of the noblest jobs.

             Throughout the human history and until the early twentieth century, a housewife was the only occupation that women were expected to hold. The media portrayed the perfect family as a working father, lovely children, and a graceful housewife who wore pretty aprons and knitted sweaters for her family. However, during the tumultuous 1960s, radical feminist altered the image of perfect woman by changing aprons into suits and knitting sweaters into working on computers. Today, many women are encouraged to pursue jobs that were previously dominated only by men. Those who occupy high positions and earn substantial amount of money are revered as the "modern women," the ideal role model for all girls to follow. A housewife, in contrast, is the total opposite of this modern woman. From many people's point of view, she is someone who probably did not graduate from college or was not intelligent enough to do any work other than cooking and washing the dishes. The job, housewife, is certainly not regarded as a career an ambitious girl may gladly occupy. It is reserved for an uneducated, brainless woman who does not know how to take advantage of newly earned equality of sexes. Or, may be she is just a poor creature who could not find courage to stand up to her monstrous husband who forced her to give up her social life and wash his t-shirts all day long.

There were several instances when I found myself extremely appalled at condescending remarks about housewives. When I asked my friend about her view toward her mother being a housewife, she replied, "I would prefer her to go out and find a job rather than sitting around in the house all day thinking about all the troubles I'm going to make." It was obvious from her derogatory statement and whining tone that she undoubtedly had no appreciation for her mother. When my friends and I needed a ride home, I heard another one of my friend, Madaline, say, "My mom can't give us a ride home because she works from Monday to Friday and she needs to rest during the weekends. We will have to ask Jessie's mom since she is a housewife." It was undeniable that Madaline thought a housewife's obligation is to serve as a chauffer when her working mother deserved some rest after tirelessly working for five days straight. As Jessie called her mother, I watched her face turn red; I did not know if it was from her anger toward Madaline or shame for having a mother who occupies a job whom her friend considers unrespectable. (names are pseudonyms used to protect the girls' privacy).

            Housewife, however, does not fit any of those perceptions people have. The formal dictionary definition says "A woman who manages her own household as her main occupation." She is the hidden supporter of each member of her family who is willing to sacrifice everything for the benefits of others. By doing so, she demonstrates the highest level of love that a human can possess. She carefully plans out the healthiest dinner menus and cleans the place where her family dwells until it is impeccably spotless. Her day is devoted to making her husband and children's home into the place of comfort and bliss. Kyoko Osada, a full time housewife, states:

 

Working women often wonder what I do all day. "Since you're a full-time housewife, you have lots of extra time, don't you?" "You've probably got a lot of time. Are you interested in becoming a PTA board member?" I dislike remarks about my having free time for PTA activities and so on. I admit I do have more time available than women who are working full-time outside the home. But what they do not realize is that as a full-time housewife, I feel I have to perform my role 100 percent, and not get by with a minimum, as working women might be forced to do. (An article from Video Letter from Japan II: Options for Women at Mid-life)

 

She also describes how she tries to avoid serving processed food to her family as much as possible, keeps balanced meal by using foods that are in season, and makes most of the clothes she and her daughter wears. A housewife may have earned a doctor’s degree from the most prestigious university, but she should be allowed to stay home and take care of her family if that is the life she wants to live.

"To be a housewife is... a difficult, a wrenching, sometimes an ungrateful job if it is looked on only as a job. Regarded as a profession, it is the noblest as it is the most ancient of the catalogue," said Phyllis McGinley, an American poet who lived through the time when women were only supposed to be housewives and also during the era of women's movement. Now that women are allowed to occupy all fields of careers, many seem to view the job, housewife, only from first half of her statement and forgot about the second. Today, with people putting so much emphasis on becoming a professional wage earner, housewife became one of the most underappreciated jobs. Many simply choose to overlook the role or mercilessly trample over those who choose to devote her life to providing care and comfort for people she loves - she deserves to be acknowledged for her role.