The next day I stared into space while Dick played a demo to one of my new songs. I couldn't take my mind off JC and that kiss. I rubbed my fingers across my lips and continued to stare at the wall. "Kara, will you listen?" I shook my head and looked up at him. "I'm sorry." He sighed. "Have you been listening to anything?" "Uh, no. I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind." "Well you need to stop it. This is your future we're talking about. It would greatly benefit you to listen." "Ok." I said softly. I have to talk to him.
When I got a lunch break I went into the bathroom and called JC. "Hello?" "Hi JC." "Kara?" "Yeah." "Where are you?" "The studio. How are you?" "Good. I didn't think you'd ever talk to me again." "Why?" "Well, because of what I did last night." "Oh, that. I'm sorry I got all mad and left." "I'm sorry I kissed you when you told me not to." "I'm telling you, don't apologize for that." "Why?" "Well, uh... because that was the best kiss of my life. I've been thinking about it all day. So you don't have to apologize." There was silence on the other line. "JC? Are you there?" "Yeah. I just don't know what to say." "Are you going to be home for a while?" "Yes." "I'm coming over." "Don't you have work to do?" "Screw work. I want to see you."
I slowly opened JC's front door and looked around. When I didn't see him anywhere I began to wander. "JC?" "I'm up here!" I walked up the stairs and found him in his bedroom. He walked up to me and smiled. "Hi." I smiled. "Hi. What are you doing up here?" "It's my room. Am I not allowed up here?" "Well, no. It's just that you're normally downstairs when you know I'm coming over." "I thought I'd spice things up. Does it bother you?" "No." "I think we need to talk." "About what?" He smiled and sat down on his bed. "What do you think?" I sat down next to him. "Where do we start?" I asked. "How about what you said over the phone." "Well... I think I said it all." "It was really the best kiss of your life?" "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." He smiled and ran his fingers across my cheek. "You're the best person I've ever met. I-I think I'm in love with you."
I stared blankly at him searching for the words to say. I drew a complete blank. "Kara?" "Yes?" "Aren't you going to say anything? I just told you something I've been holding in for quite a while." "I don't know what to say." "Ok then. I'll talk. I've never seen a woman as beautiful as you are. You have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen and your smile about kills me. You're smart, funny, and I love being around you. Just knowing your across the street makes my day. I don't know what I'd so without you. I can't even remember what life was like when I didn't have you. So please don't tell me we can only be friends, I have to have you as more." I kissed him gently. "I want you as more too, but I don't know if I can." "Why?" "I don't want to lose you." "You won't lose me." "Yes I will. Everyone I've ever loved I've lost." "It won't happen with me. I won't ever let you go." "That didn't stop my mom." "That's a completely different thing. It's not like she wanted to leave you. Please Kara, give me a chance." "I'm going to get hurt, I know I am." "I won't hurt you. I love you." "Don't say that." "Why? It's the truth." "Because I don't want to hear it! You can't love me. It's not fair." "Why isn't it fair?" "Because I love you too! But I'm not supposed to and you're not either." "You love me?" "Yes." I said quietly. "So why are you fighting it?" "I don't want to lose you. I love you too much for that to happen." "You won't lose me. I won't let it happen." I looked down at the floor. "Kara, can I kiss you?" I looked up and smiled. "Yes."
He leaned in and kissed me. I thought last night's kiss was great. Boy was I wrong. I saw fireworks before my eyes. The butterflies in my stomach began to do the mambo. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I felt I was going to die. Slowly we laid down onto the bed. "JC, I'm not sure we should be doing this." I whispered. "Why? You know we both want to." "I don't want to ruin what we already have." "This will make what we already have so much better." "I don't want to take a chance that things will go terribly wrong." "Please Kara, don't do this to me again." "Again?" "Do you have any idea how many times you've turned me down and broken my heart?" "Well, uh, no." He sighed and got off me. "Ok. I guess I'll see you later." "What?" "You're the one who doesn't want to do anything. What's the point in staying? You should get back to work anyway." He got up and left, leaving me alone in his room. I slowly got up and left his house.
"Where in the hell have you been?!" Dick screamed when I walked back into the studio. "I had to go see someone." "Well next time you decide to storm out on your job you should probably tell someone so we can work around your busy schedule!" I lowered my head and sat down in a chair. "I'm sorry." "You should be. Don't ever pull a stunt like that again or I'll have your ass fired in a heartbeat."
Months went by and soon it was December. JC and I never brought up that day again. We acted like it never even happened. I feel we're closer now than we ever were before. He even has a nickname for me: Kare Bear. I think it's cute. He always tells me I'm his Kare Bear. Things have gotten better at work. They're a whole lot more lenient. I suppose they've realized how important I am to their company.
I sat in JC's living room waiting for him to get out of the shower. I looked at my watch and realized he's been in there for a half an hour. What in the hell is he doing up there? I crept upstairs and to the bathroom door. I put my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything. He was singing. I didn't realize he sounded so good. I slid down to the floor and sat there, listening to him sing. A few minutes later the water turned off. He opened the door with a towel wrapped around his waist. When he saw me on the floor he smiled. "What are you doing?" "I was listening to you sing." He blushed. "Why?" "Because you sound really good." "Uh, thanks." He reached down and pulled me up. "How long have you been there?" he asked as we walked to his room. "I don't know. A few minutes. How come you've never sang to me before?" "How come you've never sang to me before?" he asked. "You never asked." "Then that's why I've never sang to you." "Hey, you can't take my answer!" "Too bad. Well, I have to dress. You can go downstairs and wait I guess. Unless you want to stay of course." I raised my eyebrow. "I'll be downstairs."
We sat on his couch watching tv. He had his arm around me and I had my head resting on his shoulder. "Do you want kids?" he asked. I was shocked at how out of nowhere the question was. "With you or just in general?" He smiled. "In general I guess." "Yeah. Do you?" "More than anything. Except someone to have them with. Uh, would you want to have kids with me?" "I don't know. You'd be a great dad though." "You'd be a great mom." I smiled. "Thanks." A moment of silence passed and he turned his head so he was looking into my eyes. "You'd really want kids with me?" "Well.... Yeah." "You'd even want to go through the conception?" I laughed. "Yes." I said slyly. He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Good to hear." he said turning back to the tv.
The next week I sat on JC's bed watching him furiously look through his closet. "Just wear a tux." I said crossing my legs. "That's so boring." "Why do you have to get so dressy for this anyway?" He turned around to face me. "Kara, it's a movie premiere. And not just any more premiere, my move premiere. I'm the lead role. I have to look great. People haven't seen me in a while." "Ok ok." He returned to looking for something to wear. "So, are you going with anyone?" He groaned. "Yes." "Who?" "Sara. She's the lead female role. Uh, we kind of made a promise to go to this with each other." I smiled. "Did you two sleep together?" "Yes." he said quietly. "Ah, it all makes since now." "What?" "You're not getting dressy for the premiere, you're getting dressy for her." "I am not." "Yes you are." He turned around again. "She broke up with me. It wasn't a very good time. And if it weren't for that damn promise I'd never have to see her again. I am not looking forward to this and I am not getting dressed up for her." "Ok, damn."
There was a knock on the door. "Shit! Could you get that?" JC asked from the bathroom. "Sure." I walked downstairs, opened the door, and saw a woman. "Uh, is JC here?" "Yeah, he's getting ready. Are you Sara?" "Yes." "Come in." I let her inside and she stood in one spot. "You can go into the living room and sit down or something." "Uh, thanks." She turned around and started to walk away only to turn back around and look at me. "Are you and JC a couple?" "No. I live across the street. We're friends." "Ok, ok." She turned back around and walked into the living room. I walked back to his room and knocked on the bathroom door. "Yeah?" "She's here." The door flew open. "Where is she?" "The living room." "Oh God. Do I look ok?" I looked him up and down. Jesus he's sexy. "You look great." "Are you just saying that because you're my friend?" "No. You really look great." He smiled. "Thanks."
He walked downstairs and I followed. We went into the living room and she stood up with a huge smile on her face. "Hi." "Hi." He walked to her and hugged her. She kissed him on the lips and I frowned. Jealousy coursed through my body as I watching him kiss her back. I wanted to kill her. I shook my head. "Uh, JC, I have to go. Have fun tonight." He let go of her and turned around. "Are you sure you have to go so soon?" "Yeah. Bye." I turned around and got out of there as fast as I could.
That night I sat in my room going over my schedule for the next month. My reading glasses were on and my hair was up in a messy bun. I was looking a little rough to say the least. I heard my front door open and soon JC was in my room. "How'd it go?" I asked. He sat down next to me. "Uh, it was ok." "What happened?" "Well, we had this big discussion during the movie about us. I don't know why, it didn't change anything." I smiled. "How was the movie?" "It was good. It turned out better than I thought it would." I smiled and looked back down at my planner. "So why did you leave so quickly earlier?" "You were leaving. No point in staying really." He smiled. "I think you saw us kissing and got jealous." "I wasn't jealous." "I think you are." "No I'm not." "Kara, don't lie to me." I closed my planner and looked up at him. "Ok, I was a little jealous. Oh come on, you were kissing. You know I love your kisses." "Then why don't you ever let me kiss you?" "Whenever you try I let you." I quickly leaned in and roughly kissed him. "You're kissing me?" he said when I stopped. "Yes. That's what happens when I've been thinking about you kissing another women all day." He smiled. "Well I should do it more often." "No you shouldn't." I said pulling him in for another kiss.
Soon we were laying down on the bed french kissing. I don't care anymore. I want him and I want him now. "JC, do you have any condoms at our house?" "Wh-what?" "I want to have sex but I don't have any. If you don't I can just run to the store." "You want to have sex with me?" "Yes. Do you have any?" "Uh, yeah." "Can you run and get them?" "Ok." He jumped up and ran out of the house. I laid in bed staring up at the ceiling, waiting for him to come back. After a few seconds he was back and out of breath. "I.... ran.... as fast.... as.... I could." "I can tell. Come here." I said patting the bed next to me. He jumped onto the bed and kissed me. My heartbeat became faster and he pulled off my shirt. He loosened his grip and the condoms fell all over the bed. I got tired of waiting and sat up. "Hurry up and strip." He smiled. "Impatient?" "Yes." We both hurriedly stripped down and he climbed on top of me. "Damnit, where are all the condoms?" he asked looking over the bed. I reached under my back and pulled one out. "Here's one." He smiled and kissed me. This is the best moment of my life.
I woke up the next morning in JC's arms. I feel so safe there. I took his hand and gingerly kissed his fingers. "Good morning Kare Bear." he whispered into my ear. "Morning, J." He leaned over and kissed my lips. "How'd you sleep?" he asked. "Great. You?" "Same." He brushed a strand of hair off my face and smiled. "I love you." he said. "I love you too." We kissed and he laid down and took me in his arms again. "I want to stay like this forever." I said. "Let's do that then. We don't have to move." "I have to go to work though." "No you don't." "What makes you think that?" "Then don't control you. You don't have to go if you don't want to." I smiled. "Ok."