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Storylines in the show |
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MONDAY 18
September 2000
It is the day of Ethel's funeral and also the day the Slaters move in. As the residents get ready for the funeral, a removal van pulls up with Garry, Lynne and Kat in the front. After asking for directions from Natalie, they drive through the Square surveying their surroundings.
" Betting shop, chippy, I think you'll be well taken care of Gaz," said Lynne "There's a club," says Kat seeing the 'E20', "And a snooker hall," says Garry. From the back of the van comes a small voice, "Are we nearly there yet?" "Its about another five or six miles Mo," replies Garry. Little Mo is trapped in the back with the furniture. " Here Mo, there's a launderette, you're gonna be in your element" laughs Kat. "And a boozer. A full house," says Garry " Maybe he will marry you after all then Lynne" says Kat As they pull up outside number 23 they notice that the market is shut and all the curtains are closed. "The dozy bunch of beggars are still in bed," observes Garry and Kat replies. "well you'll be at home won't you, Garry." Everyone watches as they start to unload the van onto the pavement, as they cannot get into their house. Garry unloads a dirty, old, black chair from the van as Kat watches, horrified "What's that doing here?" " It's mums chair," replies Maureen "We agreed last night to get rid of that" " You can't get rid of mums chair. She ain't been dead a year yet." "It's falling apart, Mo." "but its sentimental." " It's a plastic chair. Hanging onto it ain't gonna bring mum back" Robbie appears from the next doors upstairs window and introduces himself. "Hi. I'm Robbie. I'm your next door neighbour." " You'd never of guessed" said Kat, sarcastically. Ian comes out just as Charlie pulls up in the taxi with Zoe and Mo. " Here you cant leave that there" "I think he's one of those neighbours they make programmes about" says Kat. Mo drops her cigarette, stamps on it and says, "Not changed in thirty years. Still the same old dump." She tries to open the front door but cant get it open. Ian complains that the cab is blocking the road as the horse drawn hearse pulls up. Garry continues to unpack and takes the opportunity to flirt with Kat. Robbie comes out and offers a hand with a box which breaks and drops a load of toasters, presumably stolen. "We eat a lot of toast," explains Kat. As the funeral procession passes by, the Slaters line the street in respect. Jamie takes his chance to break into the house and open the door without being seen and Pat spies an old adversary from the window of her Limo. "Who was that women, Nan?" asks Kat " Her names Pat. She's been through so many husbands I couldn't even tell you what her second name was these days" "Is there a problem?" "For her there is yeah."
The Slaters move their stuff into their new house. Maureen notices that the window has been left open and there are footprints on the sill. "What have we let ourselves in for, vandals and thieves?," says Mo as Kat walks in with the stolen toasters. "What shall we do with these?" she asks. "Put them in the back bedroom for now. And cover them up!" Garry turns up with the second load of furniture, including the beds. Mo takes charge and tells everyone where they are sleeping. "Lynne's in the front with Kat. I'm next to the bathroom. Charlie's downstairs in the back room so he don't disturb us when he's on lates, and Zoë's in the back with Little Mo." Arguments ensue and Maureen ends up storming out. "Happy families." Says Charlie. Whilst the others move their stuff around, Garry goes to the pub and starts to chat up Mel. Eventually, Lynne comes in and drags him away. "You're beautiful when you're angry," he tells her.
At the funeral Pat meets Eddie Skinner and says he's the second person she's seen in god know how long. "Who was the other?" asks Pauline. "Didn't you clock the new family moving into 23? Maureen Harris, Porter that was" "Not THE Maureen Harris?" asked Eddie "They can't have made more than one,' replied Pauline Back at Number 23 the family are discussing what to do with mums old chair. After a lot of discussion Kat decides to phone the council and get it taken away which upsets Little Mo, who walks out in tears. "Who's for the pub?" asks Garry breaking the mood. At the pub the funeral reception is under way. Eddie notices Mo Harris enter and goes to talk to her whilst Pat watches. "What am I gonna do? I can't just ignore her." "Who is she?" asks Roy "Maureen Harris. She used to be married to Pats brother," replies Pauline "Oh THAT Maureen." Pat decides she can't wait any longer and goes to talk to Mo "Hello Mo" "Well I do declare" "Long time" "Indeed." "How are you?" "Not so bad all things considered. I've picked up one or two bits and bobs about you. How many husbands is it now?" "Look I've come over here to try to bury the hatchet." "What the one you planted in my back? The only trouble is it's still there and it still hurts!" During this time, Little Mo is sitting on her mums chair, crying.
TUESDAY 19 September 2000
It's breakfast time in the Slater house and Maureen is boiling her eggs in the kettle. During breakfast, Mo orders Kat to get dressed and go and look for a job with Lynne, who is already looking through the paper. In the Evans house, Pat is irritated by her new neighbour, "What's she doing here?" she wonders. "I can't believe it's to pursue a thirty year vendetta," says Roy. "What vendetta?" asks Barry. "Mo was married to Pats brother, Jimmy Harris." "She accused me of causing trouble between her and Jimmy," explained Pat "and did you?" Barry asked "Not intentionally, no. Well alright, I was wrong about her cheating on him that time, but there had been other times" "You actually told your brother that his wife was having an affair?" "Well, his mates called her yo-yo drawers. He was the only one who didn't know. Someone had to put him straight," explained Pat. "I bet that went down well," commented Barry. "Not really, no. She made him choose between her or his family. Poor little Jimmy was never one stand up to that bullying old cow. They moved down Lewisham way I never heard from them again. I didn't even know that he was dead until I saw an old school mate." "Who's carrying on the vendetta then?" Barry asked. "No-one is. That's all in the past. Pat isn't that kind of person any more," Says Roy. Back at the Slaters.... "More snout than a ruddy elephant, that woman. Tell her it was a dung heap, Pat Harris would still be the first person to stick her nose in. Her and her mum were just the same. No wonder her Jimmy wanted out," continued Mo at breakfast. Meanwhile, Zoe tries to hassle her dad for a drive of the Taxi. he tells her no, not until she's seventeen and gets her provisional license. After all, they have enough scallywags in the family and looks directly at Mo!
Later on, Lynne, Kat and Zoe are walking through the Square, discussing it's merits and the characters in it. They start to describe suitable partners for their dad: Pauline, who gets described as Miss Frump from Frump Town, or Peggy; all fur coat and no drawers. Zoe and Lynne decide to check out the cafe, whilst Kat heads for the shoe stall. Robbie watches, drooling. Lynne notices an advert for a job in the cafe window and asks about it. Phil quickly introduces himself and Lynne {clip} asks him for the job. Meanwhile, Zoe {clip} decides to make herself known to Jamie. After a brief interview, Phil tells her that he will let her know. Kat and Lynne meet up in the Vic, and get served by Mel. Jim introduces himself and asks how they are settling in and tells them that he will pop in and see Mo later. Kat has bought some new boots which Mel asks if she could remove from the bar counter. "Why? Are you superstitious or something?" asks Kat. "No, just keeping things in order. You don't put clothes on my bar, I won't put beer in your wardrobe," Mel replies. Meanwhile, Jim goes to visit Mo at home, but she is busy sorting out a dodgy deal involving some stolen meat.
Back at the Slater house, the girls ask whether Pat really is their great aunt. "If she's granddad's sister, she must be," says Zoe. "That's how you'll turn out if you're not careful," jokes Lynne. "Over my dead body," shouts Mo indignantly. "Pat Harris, as once was, has walked more streets than PC Plod in her time. Mind you, by the look of her now, she couldn't even keep herself in fag papers." Mo storms out, passing Garry in his car, and walks through the Square where she meets Pat. Showdown time. They approach each other, the background music playing like a western until Mo screams at Garry to turn it off.
"One of yours, is he Mo?" asks Pat "He'd have better manners if he was," she replies. "You're looking well." "Don't flannel me, and I won't flannel you." "I'm just being polite. Actually, I was sorry to hear about your Viv." "Was you? I didn't notice you at the funeral," "Maybe if I'd known about it. Then you always did keep things from your family." "You was never part of my family, and you have no-one to blame for that except yourself." "Look," Pat says, "I came over here to say, if we gonna be living on the Square together, I see no reason why we shouldn't behave in a civilized manner towards each other." "All very la-di-dah in our old age aren't we" "No. Times change and so have I" "Yeah, you have. Still you can't keep your looks forever," says Mo, "You've got to have something to pull in the punters." "You what!" "Don't tell me you're off the game after all these years." "I'm a respectable married woman" "Blimey. I'd like a pound for every time I've heard that over the years. I wouldn't be wearing cotton drawers." Pat storms off into the pub, where a young lad, Kevin, is getting drunk.
Later that evening, a drunken Kevin bashes at the door trying to get hold of Kat. "I've finished with him a million times," she says. Kevin jumps onto the taxi and tries to talk to Kat, telling her that he loves her and he'll kill himself. The commotion attracts the attention of the other residents, including Pat. To try and calm Kevin down, Mo throws a bucket of water over him. "Sling your hook."
Pat, never one to miss a chance, has a go at Mo "The Square's changed Mo. We've all gone la-di-dah now. You didn't have any friends round here thirty years ago, and you're not going the right way about getting them now so why don't you put a sock in it! You stop putting on a side show, we'll all stop watching it."
Thursday 21 September 2000
Zoe continues to hassle Charlie about driving the taxi whilst Maureen is hanging up pictures. Kat comes in wanting to know what the noise is about, worried it might be Kevin back again. Maureen says, "I don't know what people must think of us all, all that yelling and shouting" "If they think at all round here it would be a first." replies Mo. Roy is disappointed with Pat for having a go at Mo in public, whilst Frank is looking at some old pictures and reminiscing. In the cafe, Phil tells Ian that he wants to give Lynne the job. As he goes round to tell her, Mo thinks he is another guy coming to sell her dodgy gear. Phil tell Lynne she has the job and can start on Monday. "I've got a job too," says Kat, filing her nails, "It ain't easy looking this good."
Outside No. 23, Zoe meets up with Sonia and tells her that she's met this fit bloke on the junk stall. "He's mine," replies Sonia, "So forget it1" At that moment Charlie pulls up in his cab. Zoe tells Sonia that she's going to have a driving lesson but Charlie refuses and Zoe sulks. "It's just not your day, is it." states Sonia, smiling. Zoe decides to steal the taxi's keys whilst Charlie and Mo are sleeping and take the cab for a ride. Unfortunately, she can't control it and it crashes into Mark's stall and wrecks it.
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