Snuffle. Snuffle. {Universal Translator: ON} Halo? H-l-o? Hell. O... Hm. the other day I was thinking, and it occurred to me that I shouldn’t. So I stopped. Instead of taxing my brain with such theoretical debates as ‘Why do Kamikaze Pilots wear Helmets?’ (Marxian Critiques… wow. Groucho or Harpo?), or such philosophical enigmas (oh, those Ontological arguments…) as ‘Why?’. I instead settled for ‘Where can I find something that will make me laugh and think?’ And so I looked… and found… Monty Python. Included here are the complete scripts from the TV Series, and the three major films. Immediately, I was able to amuse myself with photographs of humorously patterned toilet paper and cuddly dead parrot toys. Furthermore, the transcript from the Upper Class Twit of the Year was in close proximity to Word Association Football (is a game of two half of eight is fortean times, they are a changing room for one more). All the scripts in an easily navigable format that even Mr Gumby could navigate without his brain hurting. Marvellous, I thought, and as I did so, I wondered just what was the latest comic being published by Marvel. Having satisfied my minor digression, I felt a sudden need to enter a competition and Loquax advised me to endeavour to win a 3 CD Techno set, which I did.
Having checked with the Onion what wasn’t going on in the world, and with IMDb to see what the latest was on the much hyped Red Dwarf Movie, it occurred to me that Robert Llewelyn would be better qualified to comment. He was. ‘No comment’ said he. Counting Down to a release date I queried? Maybe so, I replied, but alas The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, even with such a fantastic web-commentary, has, with the exception of Sean Connery, been severely randomly cast. A break was called for, and escape found, but then it was back to my selfless quest for knowledge, comedy and money. Having attempted to bid £5 on a £10 note at eBay, lighter relief was to be found reading sections from Sir Henry at Rawlinson End, and then hearing the even less coherent ramblings of good old Liam on his privately owned and run(down) website for sore eyes. After concluding that a little light reading would hardly be conducive to my increasing surrealistic thoughts, a quick inspirational visit to Vic Reeve’s art exhibit put me in the mood for a good irreligious laugh, and apocryphal texts beckoned. Having Esdras in mind, ‘A Dress’ appeared in the Anagramatical region of my warped mind/computer, and having thoroughly exhausted even my capabilities for mindless web-wanderings, I retired to the shed. Under the vague hopes that Mr T would help me build a robot worthy to be called ‘I,’ I was sorely disappointed when he did not. Oh well, we can't have everything we want, unless we want very little, like a few old CDs, or some Records that were released over twenty years ago, or some out-of-print books. All hard to find, unless you know where to look. And I do. And now does anyone MAD enough to read these collected ramblings.
And now for somethings completely indifferent:
Enjoy.