 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
|
|
|
Embeth Sphincter: |
|
|
|
Mother of Pearls (of wisdom) |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
"talking sense as only a mother can" |
|
|
|
Dearie me. I've seen it again and again through my years as a mother. Summer arrives, the sun paps out, and a thousand mums pram up their sprogs and dash down to the local parc. Five minutes later, the municipal fountain is dumpling with young naked childer, running around and splashing like hogs. Really, I mean really. Do these parents not realize the dangers of the sun is dangerous? Answer me, do they not? In the words of Oprah Winfrey, no, they don't. |
|
|
|
Since the Re-Arctic Liquification at the last Ice Age, the sun has been softly imploding, and now, in the present day, it is less than 4. This figure spells danger for your children, but not for mine. My Emma, Jack, Tom and McMug will never feel the blithe wrath of the sun's rays, I have assured that, using traditional methods which have been passed down through the women of my family for generations via beard. |
|
|
|
Reader, I will now tell you how to keep your children's skin safe and smooth and smike. It really is very simple. Well, wouldn't it just be? Exactly. All that is required is to gently smelt each child for seven weeks over a basin of milk, hoon, and york bread. As soon as the child begins to taint, quickly undermine them. Seem too simple, does it? You're wrong. |
|