Nov

2005

Martial Arts

Issue

No. 2

NEWS

. . . . . . . . . . LATEST HEADLINES . . . . . . . . . . . . International: Muai Thai Artist determined to spread the word of how to correctly pronounce his Art. . . . . . . . . . . Faith-based MA: Should you find God thru a dojo, or will a dojo find you? . . . . . . . . . . . Medical: New eye taser treatment available to correct style-blindness.......

TOP STORY

   Texas,USA -  Anti-grappling protesters demonstrated by picketing outside a well-known Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu academy last month.  They were demanding a full dismount of ground fighters from North America by 2006.   Since the Brazilian-led invasion, almost 250,000,000 have been tapped in the U.S. alone.

IN THE ARTS

   London,U.K. - The proposal for a Martial Arts museum was declined early last month due to technicalities.  The proposal described an exhibit depicting Martial Arts of all major and lesser-known styles complete with uniforms, weapons, forms and training practices.  The proposal had to be abandoned due to the designers failing to account for the ventilation systems necessary to sustain the Martial Artists within the hermetically sealed display cases.

When you start your own lineage, you'll need a logo  patch...why not just use your family crest! 

POINTS OF PRESSURE

   The boxing technique of striking an opponent to the chin, rattling them unconscious, has  been determined to be an official ‘pressure point’ strike (PP-KO1).     In addition, this technique takes the prestigious position of being the only PP to be tested and proven with a higher than 65% success rate.

TRAINING ROOM - M.I.T. Lincoln Labs has developed new sparring safety training equipment  that guarantees 100% protection.  Field-test studies look promising for project: "BoguDome", and is expected to market this year.

TALKING SHOP

 Bubishi-Thumper – A martial artist insisting their interpretation of the Bubishi is the correct one, and everyone else can 'go to hell'.

RANT:  MARITAL ARTS

   Ever see a married Martial Arts couple progress past 2^nd Dan together?  I haven't.  Most quit after getting their Shodans with embroidered initials like  matching bathrobes….apparently they just wanted to get those cute, shiny new black belt photos added to their wedding anniversary scrapbook.  The couples that get their Black together and then get married are a sure thing to quit within a year – but those are the cutest photos of marriages cutting the cake with a home shopping channel Samurai sword.  Adorable.

  The exception to couples quitting after black-belt is when they open a joint venture, family and income oriented, franchise or business-modeled community dojo.  They usually do financially quite well and always self-advance in dan-rank at a steady rate.  Also ever notice that it’s always the husband that has at least one Dan grade higher than his wife when they own a dojo together?  Was it a business decision based on appearances?…..give the guy higher rank since it may turn potential male-dominant-minded students away to see a husband bowing lower than his wife?  What's up with that?

“Where are all the female Soke’s?”

“If Kobudo is based on farming tools, where are the pitchfork, sledgehammer and shovel weapons?  -Those are the first things I’d grab out of the shed.”

"Why CAN'T we attack first in Karate?  All the other Arts are doing it, so we should be able to."

                                                                                                                                                                    SENSEI SAYS:  “Dumb question.  Every move I teach you is deadly, asshole.”

New Martial Artists ID card (MAID) unveiled.   All internationally commercial dojo's vow to honor it.

How a Slinky can help you along your path to enlightenment and attain a state of 'Mushin'.

• LOOK: If it looks odd to you, it will take longer to learn and be less recallable under stress.
• LISTEN: When you listen carefully to an ineffective teacher explain something, you can almost hear the hope.
• FEEL: When your protective cup starts to feel strange, stop touching it so much.
• PALATE: If it smells like bullshit, it will probably taste even worse.

INSTRUCTION MEDIA

- New video from Australia to be released this month  demonstrating over 2 hours of undefendable nut-sack attacks.

- Canada introduced the first all-audio Self-Defense BlackBelt certificate course instruction CD.   Some say this will cause potential problems when people opt to listen on the road in their cars...others counter-argue it will promote defensive driving skills.

TROLL SPOTTING 

  Online forum disruptors, known as 'Trolls', have found a way to materialize to life via phone lines after watching 'Lawnmower Man'.  They continue to infiltrate training gyms around the globe disguised as cross-traininers.  Trolls can be identified by distinguishing facial expressions in the presence of authority, and usually carry a large wooden bludgeoning weapon.  Trolls can be easily defeated by lodging a wand or chopstick up their nasal cavity and into their brain. 

OPINION

"IT'S MA BID'NESS"

  "Hey, don't question your Sensei for raising prices and fees, creating technicolor belts, relaxing test requirements, and teaching mission impossible self-defense...It ain't cool, man.  Asking these questions just gonna open up a whole can-o-worms and make our club look bad.  I got my reasons that I  don't need to explain to no light-belt.  It's ma bid'ness, fool."

THRU THE GRAPEVINE

  The Board of Education sends undercover agents to investigate MMA's, UFC, NHB and BJJ of habitual and excessive abuses of acronym usage. Indictments are expected this week pending a Teacher's conference.

  Theory of ‘ikken issatsu’ (one strike, certain kill) proven absolutely true with all test case subjects in controlled environment:  Grappling range with a .44 Magnum.

 Fallen Master

  We regret to report the passing of the infamous and respected Martial Arts Master Stehp'on Mei.  Master Mei was responsible for spreading his Art to the U.S.; a unique style of fighting with a path based upon notions of polishing the Budo spirit thru harmony and solidarity of it’s practitioners.

    Following a dispute one week after his death, his four top 5^th Dan students each named their own style and opened separate dojos, all promoted themselves independently to 10^th Dan –Hanshi, and each claims to be the sole holder of the true unbroken lineage of the late Master Mei.  All requests for comment from them were declined.

Nth Degree News™ - Ed Morris