Dear Diary, Signed Marie

Summary: An entry from the diary of Marie. The fifth and most likely last entry in my Dear Diary Series.

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men Marvel comics does. And the movie is the property of Fox studios and Marvel. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity. pictures including one of James Marsden!

Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL.

Dear Diary,

Nice to meet ya. I've been keeping a diary for years so it wasn't a big deal when the professor asked us all to try using one. This book reminds me of the professor and the mansion actually; classy and high-priced. Everything is done in a big way here; rare paintings, expensive furniture, high-tech equipment...but most of all- big personalities. You get a bunch of people with extraordinary powers together in one house (even if it is a mansion) and look out! I'm not saying that they all have big egos, because they don't, but they do each have strongly distinctive personalities that aren't necessarily compatible with everyone else's.

First of all, let me start with Jean. Quiet, understanding, nice, perfect....well, at least that is the common opinion of our resident doctor. She seems to have her act down pact but I don't buy it. I'm not saying that she isn't any of those things I mentioned, she is, but she is a whole lot more too.

All of Logan's traits I picked up when he saved my life are gone and I am back to being quiet, shy... invisible Marie. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I like being invisible. When you're invisible you see a whole lot more than you're supposed to.

So, getting back to Jean...I see the things that make her less than perfect. For example, the whole Logan/Jean/Scott triangle makes me sick! She is totally playing both of them while she decides which one she wants. I can't stand to see Scott and Logan used and hurt by her. Bitch. Okay, you may be thinking that I am so hard on Jean because I'm jealous of her...well, maybe I am. She's smart, beautiful, universally adored (except by yours truly) and has everything I could ever want. But, that's not why I dislike her, I dislike her because she's devious. If you are one thing be that, don't put all this energy into being someone else. If she wants Logan she should just be with him and stop acting like she doesn't want him flirting with her when everyone is around but welcome it when they are (seemingly) alone. Let Scott find someone else and be done with it. All the tension and drama in this house is old and tired.

You know, the only one in that triangel I feel sorry for is Scott. He's so nice and gentle. Most of the other students think that he is a stiff hard-ass who only cares about rules, but that's not true. They mistake reservation for stiffness and order for hard-assness (yeah, I know it's not a word). Ororo is the same way. The kids think she's stuck up and cold, God, they are so stupid. Obviously, they've never tried or had to hide in plain sight. Because of my gift/curse I know *all* about hiding who you are from the world. The kids don't understand but the adults and I do. Ororo's "coldness," Scott's "stiffness," Jean's "shyness," Logan's "gruffness," my "invisibility,"...all ways to hide in plain sight and keep people from getting too close.

Ugh, Ok, I don't hate Jean-I can't. Truthfully, even though I don't like what she does, she has been nice to me. She was there for me when I was depressed (once again) about my powers. That's what sucks about life: You can't just hate or like someone, they have to have traits that you like and traits that you hate making your opinion of them complicated and murky. *sigh*

The same thing with Logan. He just up and leaves when he wants and most of time is an asshole- but I still love him. I know I'm the only one that he lets relatively close to him and I feel privileged to have that honor but...it hurts to be that close and still an arms length away. He will never look at me the way he looks at Jean. I will always be the little sister he never had (or maybe did have you never know with Logan). But, if that is all I can have, I'll take it. Besides, he may one day wake up an realize that I'm here and I love him more than she ever could-or would.

Ugh, that is so pathetic! I am pining away for a man that loves someone else and sees me as his little sister! Seriously, I need to move on. I know Bobby likes me and I just may give him a chance. I mean, he's nice and cute sooo... why not? I will have to get a little over Logan first, of course. If I went for Bobby but was waiting for Logan that would make me no better than Jean. And, I'm sorry to say, I *am* better than that. Ok, no more Jean bashing! I swear! I really do like all my teachers/leaders, that one thing about her just bugs me, though.

Ok, it is now 4 pm and I want to grab a sandwich before I meet the professor at 4:30. Three days a week we get together and work on trying to control my powers. We work for 2 hours and it leaves me totally exhausted. I have to have a 30 min. nap before dinner just to get some energy back.. But the professor says all my hard work will pay off when I am able to touch just like anyone else. I long for that day and thus endure the brain drain.

So, Diary, I will see you tomorrow-same time, same place, same drama. *deep sigh*

Signed,

Marie

P.S. I seriously hope that Jean doesn't telepathically scan the mansion from time to time...she could have totally heard me call her a bitch! Oops. Oh, well, what I said about her probably isn't half as bad as what they say or think about each other.

A/N: OH, God, I finally finished this series! For some reason it took me forever to write this last part. Sorry to all of you that were waiting for the third part. Please R/R even though you are probably pissed that it took me forever to write this last part! Pleasseee!!!!!