Dear Diary, Signed Scott Summers.

Summary: An entry from the diary of Scott Summers. The third of my Dear Diary series.

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men Marvel comics does. And the movie is the property of Fox studios and Marvel. If you sue me the only thing of value you will get is autographed celebrity. pictures including one of James Marsden (By the way... James, who I met in June 2000 is super nice!)!

Note: If these characterizations seem "off" remember that these are their "true" selves talking. A journal/diary is where the person behind the facade gets to express themselves. So these are the Men and Women behind the X (so to speak). LOL.

Dear Diary or Dear Journal,

I feel kind of weird writing "Dear Diary" as the heading of this entry. I know I am being silly, it IS a diary after all. I suppose that I just feel silly writing a journal/diary at all, but the professor told us that writing our feelings down will help us to understand them better. I trust the professor's opinion and advice above all others so here I am, writing my first entry in my brand-new journal (book courtesy of the professor as well).

My feelings... I am supposed to write about what I am feeling. So here goes nothing: I-Feel-Misunderstood. And not in some tortured artist kind of way either. The people I am supposed to be closest to-Jean, the professor, and my team mates don't seem to get me most of the time.

They see me as some uptight-no fun having- Nazi. I know what they say about me and call me behind my back and it hurts-a lot. I am not morally opposed to having fun or a good time but letting go is hard for me. I didn't have much fun or reason for laughter growing up in an orphanage and as field leader of the X-Men I have lots of responsibility and worries that force me to keep this persona. The professor understands this although he tells me to "lighten up" on occasion. Ororo is the only person who understands this part of me I think. She, like myself, can't let go ( for different reasons of course) and she is co-leader of the X-Men and thus gets the responsibility thing. It's easy to be flippant and have fun when you're not making the tough decisions. As Hercules said, "I have a sense of humor...I just exercise it wisely."Yeah, I watched the show when it was on. You would think that as a "super-hero" watching heroes on tv would be boring since we do the real thing. I like watching the heroes on tv because unlike us, people cheer and express gratitude when they save the day. We are lucky if they don't call the cops on us-after we've saved them from some impending doom that is.

Ok, but enough of my beef with my image. I have bigger problems to deal with. Actually, my only real problem is about 6'2 and goes by one name: Logan. How Cher or Madonna like. I know that I shouldn't say this but I actually regret saving his life. Ever since he came into the picture he has given me nothing but grief. He's surly, rude, and a world class jerk. He knows that Jean and I are together but does that stop him from pursuing her? NO! What's worse is that I think Jean actually has feelings for him! What is it about the great Logan that has women tripping over themselves to get his attention...Jean, Marie (well, he did save her so hers is understandable- I guess), Kitty, Jubes...and every other person with XX chromosomes in the mansion. The only woman who doesn't blush in his presence is Ororo, which makes me ecstatic because that proves that he isn't irrestible to women-they are all just crazy. Ororo is nice to him and everything (She deserves a medal for the effort involved) but she doesn't take his attitude or stutter when he speaks to her. This isn't a surprise however, Ororo is sophistication, grace and beauty whereas he is animalistic, unrefined and creepy...yeah, creepy is definitely the right word. I think her detachment is what attracts him, the more offhanded she is the more attentive he is. She'll never give in though, she deserves the best and could do so much better than some Canadian reject.

I wish I knew what to do. I am the team leader so I have to be objective and put my feelings for muttonchops aside. But it's so hard when he's walking around and breathing the same air as me. I think the Professor was right, I feel better already. Venting your frustrations on paper is kinda cool. I can say anything about him that I want and still maintain my "I'm above it all" look. But now I have to end this tirade, Ororo suggested we go into the city to see a play; that way we will have something better to do than watch Logan brood.

Oh, man, it is 6:30 pm already! The show starts at 8 and I have to get dressed and meet Ororo downstairs at 7:15. We are dressing to impress tonight. Let everyone drool over us tonight! I am actually really excited and nervous at the same time. It's been a long time since I just stopped worrying about something and had fun. I hope Ororo doesn't look at my nervousness and think I look like some 16 year old prom date from hell...that's it, that corsage I bought for her stays in the fridge!

Signed,

Scott Summers

A/N: Chapter 4: Dear Diary, Signed Logan is coming soon! I am working on it as you read. Don't forget to review!