Alright, so this is what happened when I decided to go into a Gateway chat and prank a techie. They deserve it, always messin with my computer...
By Ryan
Question: My computer takes forever to boot up, why is this?
( Ryan has joined )
( Tracy has joined )
Tracy: Hello Ryan, welcome to the Gateway Chat Support Service. I am Tracy, here to help you with your issue.
Tracy: While you wait I thought I would tell you that for your convenience and future reference you will receive a detailed transcript of our chat session and all page links provided today via e-mail.
Ryan: Alright. Thank yah.
Tracy: We are in a process of updating our database due to which I am unable to access your system information hence will not be able to provide you an event number for this session. I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience this has caused you.
Ryan: So you can't help me?
Tracy: Do not worry, I will try my best to have your issue resolved.
Tracy: Provide me more details regarding the issue that you are facing.
Ryan: Alright. So does it matter that I'm not on a Gateway computer?
Tracy: No Ryan, do you have the system in which you are facing this issue near you>?
Ryan: Yes, I'm on it. It will boot up, but it takes a very long time.
Tracy: Do you receive any error messages?
Ryan: No, it just stays on the WINDOWS screen for a very long time. Like earlier tonight I went and watched QAF and it still wasn't done 45 minutes later.
Tracy: Fine, click on "Start" button, then click on "Run". In the "Run" dialog box type, MSCONFIG and press the Enter key. You will get a window with a title "System Configuration Utility". Click on the Startup tab. Let me know once you are there.
Ryan: Alright, I'm there.
Tracy: You will see a list of programs installed on your computer, let me know as to how many boxes are checked.
Ryan: 33, there are several doubles though.
Ryan: Is that too few?
Tracy: These are programs that load automatically when windows is started and they keep running in the background, consuming memory space. Please clear all the check boxes except for "ScanRegistry" & "SystemTray" then click the OK button. Computer will now prompt you to restart. Before you restart, please let me know if you need any clarification on the solution that I have provided.
Ryan: Well I was thinking I'd have to do a system setback because my system just started doing this a few days ago. So could you inform me of how to do that?
Ryan: And oh yea, I have several problems or things that I want help with, that wasn't the only one..
Tracy: We will have all your issues resolved, also I do not think that system restore is necessary at this stage.
Tracy: The steps that I have provided you will help you resolve your issue.
Ryan: Okay, but like I said earlier, that's not my only one.
Tracy: Fine, let me know the next issue that you are facing.
Ryan: I need to know where I can find the volume control on my computer, because it's been playing really soft music forever.
Ryan: I need to know where I can find the volume control on my computer, because it's been playing really soft music forever.
Ryan: I feel so dumb that I don't know where it is though..
Tracy: Are you able to locate the small speaker icon on the lower right hand corner of your screen, next to the time?
Ryan: No that's not there, that hasn't been there in forever.
Ryan: No that's not there, that hasn't been there in forever.
Ryan: No that's not there, that hasn't been there in forever.
Tracy: No problem, click on Start>>Settings>>Control Panel>>Multimedia.
Ryan: Can I give you some advice on how to improve this whole system chatty thingy you have going here?
Tracy: Check the box next to Show Volume control on task bar.
Ryan: Okay I'm a the multimedia page..
Ryan: Okay I'm a the multimedia page..
Ryan: Alright. I'm there.
Ryan: And I don't know why it's repeating everything I say.
Tracy: Check the box next to Show Volume control on task bar.
Ryan: Oh, I don't have 'control panel' in my start bar... I have a shortcut to it on my desktop though.
Tracy: No Problem, once you get into Multimedia window, Check the box next to Show Volume control on task bar. Are you able to do this?
Ryan: Nope, because the multimedia window loads and it's just blank with a little flashlight thingy searching.
Ryan: And my computer doesn't search the web. What's up with that?
Tracy: Please describe me the mutimedia icon in Control panel?
Ryan: It has a picture of a phone on it.
Ryan: Not cordless.... a little old I guess.
Tracy: I am afraid, you have clicked the wrong icon.
Ryan: Not cordless.... a little old I guess.
Tracy: Let me know as to which operating system is installed in your system?
Ryan: So what is up with this weather?! It�s so not cool, cool one day and not the next�
Ryan: OMG, brb. Little Suzy just got her hand stuck in the toilet again. 3rd time this week. Her Daddy told her not to do that anymore. Kids. Brb.
Tracy: Sir� are you there?
Ryan: Oh yes, sorry about that.
Ryan: Oh, back to my internet problem. It will surf for porn, but when I try to get my gay porn it says �CAN�T FIND WEBSITE�. I think it may be homophobic. I suppose it�s for the best though, my life partner was getting angry, he says the ONLY MAN I need is him.
Ryan: How is your love life?
Tracy: Sir what operating system is on your computer?
Tracy: We can�t talk about that. Sorry.
Ryan: Well just because you ain�t getting any doesn�t mean you have to be snappy about it.
Tracy: Alright so the operating system would be?
Ryan: Are you mean to me because I�m gay? Because they have laws against that, you know. I could sue you and Gateway. I could be your boss.
Tracy: Fine. It�s fine. I don�t care. I�m here to help you with your problems.
Ryan: SO ME BEING GAY IS A PROBLEM NOW?! Oh that�s it, I�ll be calling in tomorrow and talking to your supervisor. I�d suggest calling in sick, you don�t say that being gay is a problem and get away with it.
Ryan: If my clique heard you say that�. MAN.
(Ryan has left the chat)
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