...Maybe You'll Notice Me Now...
"Sara? I'm home..."
JC walked through the front door, suitcases in hand. He slowly made his way up the staircase to the bedroom he shared with his girlfriend of the past 16 months. Dropping his suitcases on the bed, he walked to the window and gazed out into the backyard. It had been months since he'd seen this view and he'd missed it.
"Baby? Are you here?"
JC walked through the house calling her name. When he got to the kitchen, he opened the door which led to the garage and flipped the light switch. Artificial light from the overhead beams illuminated the room, revealing 3 cars still parked in their places.
The sound of the ringing phone shattered the silence. JC lifted the receiver and brought it to his ear.
"Yeah?"
"Hey man, it's Justin...Am I interrupting something?"
JC scratched his head in thought. "No, I was hoping you were Sara...she's gone and the cars are still here...you haven't seen her, have you?"
"Naw man, can't say I have. She's probably out with a friend shopping or something."
JC laughed. "Out spending my money...You're probably right. I.."
His eyes fell on an envelope with his name scrawled across the face.
"Justin, lemme call you later."
JC ended the call without waiting for his friend to answer. He reached for the letter and opened it, his eyes filling with tears as he read the words the envelope concealed.
Joshua,
The happiest day of my life was the day I met you. I fell in love with your eyes and the sincerity of your smile. You made me think that I could do anything. When I'm in your arms, I feel so beautiful, so special, so SAFE..But I never get the chance anymore. I need more to hold than the telephone. I'm tired of touching myself and fantasizing that it's you. I love you but I'm not happy anymore. I need you here, you need to be on the road, and I don't see a compromise. You never seemed to know when I was there by your side, maybe you'll notice me now.
Sara
JC crushed the stationary between his hands as rage flooded over him. After all they had shared, he deserved more than a letter. Desperate to hear her voice, JC reached for the phone and dialed his friend's� number slowly. Lance's girlfriend Kerri answered the phone.
"Hello? Bass residence?"
"Kerri, this is JC....Kerri are you there?" He waited as she breathed softly into the phone, remaining silent.
"Kerri, please. I need to talk to Sara. I know she's there."
"She's not here JC and it's not my place to help you find her." Kerri sighed deeply and fought the urge to break the connection.
"Where could she be? You're the only person she talks to!" JC's voice pleaded with her across the line.
"Sara has alot of friends JC....Damn, do you even know her at all?"
"Please..Help me find her...."
Kerri sighed. "Alright JC. Alright....."
*******************************
"Why are you here, Joshua?"
Sara embraced herself tightly, visibly shaken by his unexpected arrival. His was the last face she had expected to see waiting on the other side of the door, yet here he was. Despite her decision, she loved him and it was difficult to remain strong when he was so close.
JC removed his sunglasses to look down at her. "I want us to talk about things, to work everything out. I want you to come home baby. I love you and I want you to be with me."
Sara shook her head, walking to the window to widen the distance between them. "No Joshua, I'm not happy anymore.� There's nothing to talk about."
"There's ALOT to talk about! You don't just run when things get tough, you try to fix what's wrong! I don't want this to end! I love you!" His body trembled from the intensity of his love for her....from his desperation to hold her.
Sara turned her back to avoid his gaze. "You don't have a choice, Joshua. It's not up to you."
His anger burst forth, tainting his voice. "That is a FUCKED up thing to say! This affects me too! It's my life as well, Sara! How can you take your love away without even ASKING me?!?"
"Because I'm a selfish bitch! I'm willing to sacrifice your heart to save my own! Is that what you want to hear?" Sara continued to stare out the window, willing herself to stand firm.
JC inhaled deeply, attempting to regain control. "I love you Sara. You are the most important thing in my life. I need you to come home..."
"It's NOT a home! You're never there, Joshua. I need someone to hold at night...If I go to Orlando, nothing will change. There's no room in your life for me. Not now."
Sara closed her eyes to keep the tears from revealing her pain.
"What was all the shit you gave me about being independant?" JC's voice mimiced her own, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "I DON'T NEED ALL YOUR TIME JOSH....I LIKE TIME TO MYSELF......"
Sara turned to face him.
"Stop it....just stop! Turn around and walk the hell out of my life! Just go away, Joshua...please just leave me alone....."
Tears slid down her face in a release of emotion. JC crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. "Let me go, Joshua.. Please just leave me alone!"
After a moment of struggle, she collapsed against his chest, sobbing on his shoulder. JC stroked her hair gently, rocking her slowly to comfort her.
"You know you still love me angel girl..Please come home..."
Sara pulled away. "I can't. I love you and I want to, but we can't."
"Why not?!?"
"You're an amazing man. I respect you for following your dreams, but I need you to understand. I want more than you can give me. I've compromised so much of what I want..what I NEED that I'm not happy anymore..."
"I don't want to lose you." JC's shoulders slumped in defeat, knowing her decision had been made. No amount of pleading would make make her relent to him. All that was left was to accept the hand he had been dealt.
"It's better now, Joshua. Marriage.....kids......divorce? This is how it has to be."
JC and Sara stood inches apart, gazing into one another's eyes. Neither knew where to go from here, hesitant to take that step.
"What now, Sara?"
"Kiss me goodbye and walk away."
JC leaned toward her, cupping her face in his hands. He kissed her softly, wanting to lock that moment forever inside his heart. He pulled away slowly, his fingertips trailing across down her cheek. "If you ever need me, I'm here for you."
"Goodbye, Joshua."
"Goodbye, Sara."
JC walked to the door and paused, his hand on the knob, before he slowly passed through.
The sound of two hearts breaking echoed through the house as he pulled the door closed behind him.