Julianna stepped back to critique her work, wiping the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. She dipped her brush into the can then shook the excess paint as she waited for inspiration to strike again. Upstairs, Justin awoke and glanced over at the empty space in the bed beside him.
"Julianna?"
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Justin made his way downstairs and walked through the house. When he found nothing he smiled and walked down the narrow stairway to the basement. The sight which greeted him brought a smile to his handsome face. Julianna crouched on the floor mixing paints, her auburn lock slipping from the barrette to conceal her face.
"The Muses awake tonight?"
Julianna stood and smiled in his direction. Justin leaned against the doorway, his strong arms folded over his chest. She nodded and returned to her canvas.
"Yeah. I've been blocked for two days and all of a sudden it all just.....clicked.� Maybe it's you that inspires me."
Justin crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her waist. Julianna leaned back against his chest as Justin lowered his chin to her shoulder.
"So..what do you think Justin?"
Justin studied the painting intently.� "It's beautiful...You know, I learn more about you with each painting. When I look at them, it's like I'm looking into your soul."
"In a way you do. That's why I can't part with them. It's like selling a piece of myself."
"You have an incredible talent, Julia. Sometimes you amaze me."� Justin's voice was full of wonder as he gazed at the beautiful blend of colors on the canvas before him.
"Only sometimes?"
Justin laughed. "Sometimes more than others....Are you ready for bed?"
Julianna dropped her brush and turned to face him. She captured his lips in a kiss, savoring the moment. Their time together was special. They were treasured moments to bring comfort during the months of painful seperation.
When their lips parted, they walked slowly to the bedroom they shared hand in hand. Not a word needed to be spoken, their eyes said more than mere sounds could ever form. Justin peeled their clothing away eagerly in desperation to join their bodies in the ultimate expression of love and devotion. Complete unity. Mind, body, and soul.
Justin stared down into her blue-grey eyes, never breaking their gaze. Justin reached down and clutched her hands, intertwining their fingers.
"I love you Justin."
Justin smiled and responded with a kiss promising his love in return.
*********************************************
Three weeks later, Julianna found herself walking down the hotel corridor to Justin's room. Inside, he paced nervously as he imagined the forthcoming confrontation.� Justin jumped nervously as the door opened and she stepped inside.
A smiled covered her face as her eyes fell on his familiar form. "Baby, I've missed you so much....."
Julianna approached and reached out to him. Justin pulled back abruptly as though he feared her touch would cause him pain.� Julianna's eyes narrowed in confusion as she watched him pace before her, a large manilla envelope clutched in his hands.
"We need to talk. I want you to explain this."
Justin removed several photos from the envelope and thrust them into her waiting hands. She flipped through the photos slowly, a shadow of disconcertion darkening her eyes. In each photo she saw herself with a young man from one of her classes.
"Who is he, Julianna?"
"This is a friend from art class....Where did these come from?"
"I've been having you followed."
"EXCUSE ME?"� Her voice exploded in a fit of outrage.� "How DARE you, Justin?"
"I was worried about you. I hired someone to protect you....I guess I got more than I expected, didn't I?"� Justin forced a laugh at the irony in the situation he found himself within.
"He's a friend, Justin...Nothing happened." Her pleas for reason fell on his deaf ears.
"I realize you must get lonely. But how could you? In OUR home? Was it in our bed? TELL ME!!"�
Justin's eyes glistened with tears, the pain etched into his face.
"Why did you ask me here? You could have done this over the phone and saved me the trip if my words are useless."
Justin's tears threatened to fall any moment. "I had to see if you could lie to my face."
Julianna's lip trembled. "Then there's nothing left to be said. Goodbye Justin."
The photographs slid from her hand and floated to the carpet as she turned and walked away.
**********************************************
The weeks which followed were torturous. Justin missed the soft sound of her voice which often lulled him to sleep at night. He missed the little notes which always seemed to await him in each city. He missed HER. The sounc of her hand on his cheek, the silkiness of her hair between his fingers....he was in love with her. His heart longed for her to come home. But with foolish pride and jealousy controlling him, he couldn't bring himself to call. Late one night Lance knocked on his hotel room door.
"Justin?....You okay?"
Justin nodded. "Yeah man...just thinking."
"About Julianna, right?"
Justin sighed in frustration. "I can't get her out of my mind! I love her, Lance. But how do I forget the way she betrayed me? How can you love someone, yet be unfaithful?"
"She didn't cheat on you, Justin."
Justin's hands ran through his curls, a physical manifestation of his confusion. One of his most often employed nervous habits. "I want to believe that. But how can you trust her that much? How can you just push aside the proof and BELIEVE?"
"What surprises me, is that you can't."
***********************
"DAMN IT!"
Julianna ripped the page from her sketchbook and crumpled it between her hands. She put her pad to the side and closed her eyes. Concentration was impossible. Her every thought was of Justin. She couldn't eat....she couldn't sleep....paint...or even write. There was an excess of emotion which needed to be released, yet she could find no suitable outlet. She opened her eyes and pulled herself to her feet. Gathering her things, she began her walk home.
From the end of the block, she could see Justin seated on her doorstep. He stood as she neared the house.
"Justin? What are you doing here?"
Justin looked nervously around the yard.� "Can we go inside and talk?"
"Yeah, sure."� Julianna walked past Justin and unlocked the front door. He followed her into the kitchen.
"So, can I get you something to drink?"
"No thanks. So, how are you?"
"I'm good...And you?" Julianna leaned back against the counter, her arms folded beneath her breasts.
"I'm good...no....that's not the truth."� Justin shook his head slowly, gazing down at the floor.
Julianna looked up. "What do you mean?"
Justin's eyes met hers and studied her intently. As he got lost in the piercing eyes that stood before him, his knees began to buckle.
"I love you, Julianna. I think about you everyday. I can't get you out of my mind."
"You'd never know it from my end."� Her voice trailed to a whisper.
Inside, he ached to feel her pressed tightly against his body.� "I want to touch you so much right now, Julia..."
"So? Why don't you?"
Needing no further encouragement, Justin took her into his arms and held on for dear life. He inhaled her scent deeply, relishing her presence.
"I am so sorry, baby. I should never have doubted you. Can you forgive me for being such a jealous asshole?"
Julianna pulled away. "I'm flattered by your jealously, Justin. It proves you care about me too much to lose me. I'm not angry that you questioned me either. I admit you had reason to wonder. I'm hurt that when you confronted me, I told you the truth...and you didn't believe me...."
Justin's heart ached at the thought of causing her pain.� "I know baby...I am so sorry..."
"YOU betrayed me, Justin. That hurts me."
Tears ran down Justin's face.� "Baby, I love you. I need you in my life. These past weeks have been torture. You're the one true thing that I have. In all this insanity, YOU are what I cling to. You are my comfort, Julia."
"Justin..."
Justin raised his hand in a plea for her to stop.
"Wait. Please, let me finish. Since the day we met, I've been afraid that what I do..that my career...would push you away and that I would lose you. Don't let it be that fear that makes you leave. Please...tell me you love me enough to forgive me."
Julianna extended her arms like a child and he fell gratefully into her embrace.
"I love you Justin...I don't want to be without you." Taking his face in her hands, she wiped his tears with her thumbs and stared into his blue eyes.
"Can you forgive me, Julia? Can you love me for AND in spite of what I am?"
She smiled at him, her eyes sparkling. "I love you for everything that you are. I love you for your strengths and your weaknesses. I love the way we compliment one another....and you know something else?"
"What's that?"
"The only way I'll ever leave you is if you force me. And even then, young Mr. Timberlake, you will have a fight on your hands."� Her fingers laced through the curls at the nape of his neck as she smiled up at him.
"I never want to be without you."
Justin lifted her chin and gazed lovingly into her face, as he thought about what he could've lost. He almost lost the greatest gift God had even give him. As he twirled her hair around his fingers, he said a silent thank you for another gift.
Everybody knows......
.......Almost doesn't count.....