He loved us both but she didn't know. She found out
the hard way and I will never forgive myself for what
I did.
Five years ago my sister and I couldn't have been
closer. Our parents died when she was 18 and I was 16.
At that age she was old enough to care for me which is
what she did. She put off going to college so I could
finish high school. When I graduated we attended
college together. That was where we met Justin
Timberlake. My sister fell head over heels in love
with him. And so did I. But I kept that information to
myself because he showed feelings for my sister. Their
friendship blossomed into a relationship unlike any
other. They were in love within months and couldn't be
happier. I was happy for my sister and Justin even
though secretly I still liked him. I just couldn't
help it. I had my own boyfriend but I didn't like him
half as much as I liked Justin. I compared everyone to
him and that wasn't fair. But what could I do?
Our affair happened almost as quick as their
relationship. I didn't mean to do the things I did but
I did them. I found out a lot of things about Justin.
Mainly about the way he felt about me. He was my first
and it was so special. I thought of nothing and no one
else when I was with him. He continued to be with both
of us until school ended. When we graduated I left
town. I couldn't continue the affair. I know I had
hurt my sister enough without her even knowing. I felt
bad for what I did and even worse when they got
married. I was her maid of honor.
Our affair didn't stop for long. It continued a week
after their honeymoon. I even lied to my sister about
having a boyfriend that I was seriously dating. Of
course she was happy for me and wanted to meet him. I
started casually dating a guy from work and brought
him to meet my sister. It worked for the time being.
It threw her off comepletely.
Until she came to visit me one day to talk. She
complained to me about how strange Justin was acting
and how she thought he was having an affair. I didn't
know what to say. I comforted her the best I could and
she went home still upset. I told Justin he needed to
get it together and he did. She called two weeks later
and told me she was pregnant. We immediately ended the
affair for the sake of the unborn child. I cried to no
end when we did. I loved him so much and I couldn't be
without him. I still couldn't understand where this
emotion was coming from. I knew he was married to my
sister and they were expecting a baby but I was madly
in love with him.
My sister had the baby 6 months later, a beautiful
baby boy she named after him. He looked just like him.
I thought that seeing the baby would change my
feelings for his father somehow but it didn't. All
emotions came back and our affair continued. Shortly
after that I found out that I was pregnant to. I gave
me a reality check and I was almost ready to get rid
of the bay. But I couldn't do it.
Half of me said to do it for my sister and half of me
said not to do it for Justin. When I told him he was
fine with it. At that point we knew we were in
trouble. Not only had we carried on an affair for
about the whole time he and my sister were together
but I was about to have his child as well. Toward the
end of my pregnancy I wanted to tell her. By the time
I had figured a way to break it to her I had my baby.
My daughter Jasmine was born on her exact due date. My
sister came to visit me with Justin. If she noticed
how Jasmine looked exactly like Justin Jr., she sure
didn't say anything about it. Part of me hoped that
she would notice and say something but she didn't.
After a while Justin had gotten away with coming to
see our baby. He told me she never noticed. But the
day came when she did. He was making his routine visit
to me when she followed him. She saw everything. She
saw him holding Jasmine and feeding her and putting
her to sleep and then she saw us kissing. She burst
through the door and demanded an explanation. We gave
her one and she didn't like it. She yelled at us and
argued with us as we tried to justify what we did. But
we couldn't. She already hated us. When she burst back
out the door it was the last time I saw her.
I miss her still and I wish i could take it all back.
But I couldn't of course. To this day I still love
Justin. The feelings just won't go away. Jasmine looks
more and more like him everyday. She's my reminder
everyday of my great love and my great deception. But
I don't love her any less. Maybe one day I'll forgive
myself but right now I don't see it ever happening...
