~*Its Love*~ Its Love... I sit here in my chair drawing doodles I'd swear I'd lost my noodle Thinking about u I draw hearts Then my body jerks w/ a start Its like sitting in an electric chair This feeling i get.. I float on air My work desk calander covered in drawings so sweet My boss smirks n says "Boy, isnt that just so neat!" "Where's my report, that I wanted by 1?" Shock covers my face.. I've got nothing DONE!!! Up all nite on the phone.. @ my desk i begin to nod.. Man I better get it quick... or I'll lose my job!!! I can't concentrate... I'm Up so late.. But god do I love this feeling The way u got me dizzy and reeling... The way my heart skips a beat... Racing faster then cars on a street.. The way it feels like when the plane engines stall And the plummet it takes when it falls... Its the long whistle the train gives out Its love.. of that I have no doubt... Its the first rain on a new spring day.. It the way u make me feel when u say my name that special way... Its the flip flop my heart makes when I think of u.. Its a sun kissed morning w/ fall dew.. Its the silent whispers of ur breath in my ear Its the tender way u hold me near The rain falling on the window pane.. The way u drive my body insane.. Yes... my love.. This Is Love Its the way u make me feel complete Ur way of loving is unique Its love that makes me feel the way I do... Its love that I feel for only u.....I LOVE U.... ~*Lissa*~ ~*My world*~ My world revolves around u... And the way u do things u do... The way u make me feel Knowing that what I've found is real... My world spins world spins on ur axis I just stand still.. and begin relaxin... U stand still while I'm ur hurricane Waiting patiently.. even when I cause pain... Standing still watching me whirl I'm just ur girl... Spinning out of control Then u take my hand.. thats when i know.. I know that there is a safe place Pulling me near.. face to face.. When u hold me in ur arms Keeping me from the world's harms... U stand still.. waiting patiently for me to settle down..inevitably... I will.. time to slow down... and go slow.. And our time will come.. this in know.. Ur my world...and I'm ur girl... As the storm dies down to a swirl... As the flurries die down to a gentle snow fall... In my heart .. u have crumbled every wall... I am urs to take what u will And yet u give still... I love u... u know that?? Plz dont ever doubt that fact.. ~*Lissa*~ ~*Broken Wings*~ Broken wings spread wide for first flight.. Pain sears so deep gripping inside so tite Let me go... It's time u know.. Wings spreading slowly.. Tears streaming, flowing.. Knowing that soon the end is near Flight is worth each tear... Broken wings will fly.. Or give and die... I will find my way.. Starting w/ just today.. It will take some time.. But the time will be mine... My life to spend... As I open my broken wings to the wind... My life is just beginning While ours is ending.. Hidden for so long But now I am gone.. Its time for me to go.. This u had to know.. So please wipe ur tears.. I've been w/ u for yrs... I was there when u needed me.. Now the rest is history.. Discarded and uncared for.. I just cant take anymore.. So this is my goodbye.. U dont need to ask y.. Broken wings wont hold me still anymore.. *turns from you and opens the door... Opening wings wide to the sky Plz just say goodbye... ~*Lissa*~ ~*Ashes*~ i had a discussion today of times gone by.. then i sit and wonder... and ask myself why.. words of poetry forming in my head... there once was a time that w/o u i'd rather b dead... but times have changed and that love gone and knowledge gained... better things have come for me.. and precious new love has come to be.. but without the lessons u taught and i have learned.. id not have learned to appreciate the love ive earned.. so fragile and unique so tender and sweet... ever so gentle and kind... he takes my breath away and blows my mind.. so from the ashes of the tragedy that was us.. i have to thank you.. and i know that will drive u nuts.. i once asked a friend.. did u ever love someone so much that they take ur breath away ... last nite the question was bounced back at me.. and i had to say yes... cuz i love him that way... what u see today is just cold ashes of what used to be.. thank you for helping me create a new me.. ~*Lissa*~ For vic... thanks a million.. I love u JAO *********************************************************************Grounding friends go thru difficult passages in Life, and Love sometimes. and in such moments, we can make a difference. written for a friend, just cause. GROUNDING hey there.... it's me shhh... don't tell a soul quick, hustle, get in here are you sure someone didn't see? sigh, yeah i am hurting, yet again why do some think trust's a game it is my essence, it's what i breathe oh? a hug? sure, that's ok. just let me reel, let me feel i need to walk, i need to peel embrace this chaos inside let me bleed, while for a moment i hide, i need to face my fears, realized what's that? yes, alone, tis a walk of one you care? gosh, thank you, it's nice to have you there i ache, this path why'd he betray my trust? i was so open, shared it all bared my fears, so vulnerable damn him...he listened, held my hand initmate, sensual, thei judas friend i am ice, i am scared, i want walls i need them all, no more i say i won't risk that, let someone in i can't take that ..and yet .. i know, i feel, i am beyond that the past from which i healed i have grown. i am sure i am more of me today, than from where i came you listen..you let me ache your let me rage, you let me take hey .. you care and mellow me amidst this storm inside of me i need to bleed, i need to be in the currents of this writhing sea of tears , or anger, or self doubt and let it calm, and not fester within let it out, walk my edge, and find the will to surture again, move on, in so many ways and i will *smile*, and yes... i see ... you know. hey there.... it's me shhh... don't tell a soul thanks for letting me share and for being there. oh ..by the way... i'll talk o you, cause you care. what? yes, that too ... i'd do the same for you. pilgrim a dream .... or? she rested, him awake he watched, not sure what to make of her laying there, so serene ironic, from what had just been writhing, molten, splendid passion sweet kisses, sweeping touches sudden nibbles, tastes and scents shared and embraced sighs, fueling moans, a day turned to night electirc, exotic, sensual, more than erotic discovered, explored, surrendered , and captured and so... this angel, in soft repose he looked, he smiled, a finger to his lips a soft touch to her cheek an arm circling around, as she murmured, and moved molding to him, and bliss came that nite... twas no linger a dream pilgrim seaswept It's such a fine line ... dry to wet, the lapping of a wave. it's direction in, and later out, eternally repeating, the flowing and the ebbing, emotionless, no feeling. softly grinding rock and sands, moving and eroding, timeless liquid hands, that shape the world and decide what stays or goes ...away. pristine and pure, from whence we came. so long a time ago. the calm, the peace, the settling there .. it beckons me...it's time to go. a lighthouse often i have seen, at least i thnk it's so. yet there are times, a siren sings, don't stay, hear me, go .... on in private thoughts, sublime to most, unguarded walks, dipping toes, the surf drowns out the heartfelt sighs, and masks the quiet soul that cries. as waves curl and foam, then spread and cover, a mind floats midst the beach washed clutter, and wonders, looking out beyond, time to stay, or time to be go ... jump in eagles soar on high, while whales play, sails float by, night and day, relentless hours on those shores, life's joys and lies weighed in the balance. the sun burns bright, with wilting heat, but the wind is chilled, something, someone not quite right. ahhh ... a storm is brewing , moving close, and will likely be hear by night. lingering, i wonder as daylight fades, one last dip ... shall i stay, or shall i go .. sink or swim moonbeams gleam like demons' teeth. the water rises, the surging motion, changing tide running...hide it screams, with a blustery, solemn glee. life scatters midst Neptune's rush, no place a haven, no safe harbour from the fury, panic rules this eve. fascinated, i watch, hidden truths revealed, alone, away from the platitudes .... surreal almost, the wind whispers, will you stay, or will you go. time at hand, the dream now real, that one that wakens ..did you know? wading in, coldness seizes, some gravity that puls as it pleases, a tugging curls below, the edges of the undertow. a turn, a looking back, a glance at the serenity. the green cloaked in the night, the glistening silicone paintedby moonlight...an otter plays with its young, while smoke rises from the fire, emebrs left where t'was considered, the staying warm, the going deeper... i love my beach, it anchors me. a private piece of serenity. each moment illuminates my whole, a place that consumes my soul. many gales have touched that coast... some from nature, tho from me, the most. a battleground for self at times, as wet and moving with the tide, i begin again to wade and swim, and let the chaos float again, the tuning forks of land and sea, each instant there, resonate in me, a wishbone pulled but two ways.... shall i stay and drift, or go back to shore? pilgrim and i call you ... what is it? this connection we have that each moment i find when i look, you inside just being there, accepting of who i am why is it? that you know me so almost better than i do myself and that you can forgive and guide me thru my pain without me asking when was it? at what point after meeting did the veils and walls come down that true sharing, and caring, even daring ensued and became part of the woven fabric of this tapestry called us where was it? that place that it happenned where in an instant we both knew between us there is something magnificent that despite whatever hues of life's prism i show you see my whole, and the purity of my space who is it? what do you see in me, that you stay and risk trust, no make that a faith in me when i sometimes lose that in my own eyes yet you are there to nurture, and settle and coax the best from me thru it all how is it? two can bond, and say more with silence and find meaning in the spaces walked along the shores of 2 souls, serenaded by rythmic breakers of our lives yes ... how is it that you can call me, as i call you ... friend? pilgrim beyond words ... tis simple really who i am what i want it's just that i can seem to say it clearly been alone long enough to know i can do this and also, without doubt know i don't want it anymore tho, i once did words...can they convey with the depth felt or do they just say a semblance of, a ghost of the meaning a close imposter of what i am feeling ... and needing? why is it that describing what one wants is so clear and vivid inside yet once beyond, writing of it is so hard and somehow shallower than the depth meant? be open, be honest let me risk for you,as you do to me be simple, and enjoy just being together no games. no lies, no playing around free emotion, shared tears, of pain and of joy cuddles before, and beyond the making love orgasms that are emotionally strong, and bond felt between two, and no one else. shared looks that convey the trust and the grace sweet affection, our fuel and motivation respect, concern, and a safe harbour too. and would you just be you, and let me be me? pilgrim a simple wish ... stepping back, been watching a while seeing the kisses, the wistful smiles and hoping, beyond the norm, what i see is real, and without future harm so many...reaching...seeking ..yearning .. wanting more yet still tentative, some baggage still carried ... scars of love's wars some here, my friends.. others names for you all i wish you find the same love and relationship, eternal and true a safe place, a soul's harbour, for each of you. that you find the courage to have faith in that one trust beyond the space of your fears, share laughter, and yes, your tears may you each be happy may you each embrace with surrender and be comforted, with a hug or a kiss a quiet word, a soothing gesture, a soft touch you deserve all this, with your opened hearts a journey of two into one, may you all find bliss. pilgrim echoes ... HELLO ..... HELLo .... HELlo .... HEllo .... Hello .... hello .... your voices calls me, and inside it reverberates off inner walls of a heart, that somehow, you got inside the emotional guards i have. i draw thin inside, defensive posturing, that you might pass stright thru me, and yet your kindness richochets, and stick around, passing thru my peephole, an lingering. WHY .... WHy .... why .... do you talk with me, and infuse me with that braid of wondering and intrigue and feeling, i thought i had scarred enough, and grown tough enough in my wandering, about this continent, adrift, moving often enough not to settle, so sure, not ready, and just a moving target, from myself. AND SO .... AND So .... AND so .... ANd so .... And so ....and so .... where do i go from here.. confused and caught between what this might be, and from whence i have come and how do i cope with the nerves, now touched again, yet so damned scared and cuatious to the extreme that even in being touched inside.... do you know that you get to me, even when my history say to flee, and not stay still.. while my instincts hold me like an anchor, as if against my will WILL YOU .... WILL YOu ....WILL You .... WILL you .,... WILl you .... WIll you .... Will you .... will you .... caress me in my darkest times, linger with my anguished mind, dance with a healing heart, settle when the chaos starts, walk with me inside my walls, and touch so gently my edg when i call? for you echo in my loneliness, ground me when i cavitate, and draw from me feelings, where i would before hesitate RISK .... RISk .... RIsk ....Risk .... risk .... could you do that first, i'd like that cause, see i guess i know it will be a sign for me to feel, having reached before, too much i'm sure, more than you know ... would be nice you see, if it was you, not me, who took the step first to say, and let me hear, your words and feelings, that would echo and soothe and linger, and touch the tuning forks therein, and bring harmony inside me again. pilgrim i don't know ... i don't know ... i don't know when, i don't know why or how you came to be inside my masks of openess subdued when i float amidst thoughts of you been thru a lfie, some good, some bad been rocked, destroyed, lost all i had and yet. in wandering thru loss and pain you touched my heart, and i feel again i don't know when, i don't know why or how you came to be inside my masks of openess subdued when i float amidst thoughts of you they say Time heals Life's bitter wounds that moving on, thru its twists and turns with simple steps, going forwards, you let me find my parts each one closer to you, my map just a glimpse of your heart i don't know when, i don't know why or how you came to be inside my masks of openess subdued when i float amidst thoughts of you you lured the very best of me you tamed the ugly beast i see with patience, hope, and charity faith, and sweet simplicity i don't know when, i don't know why or how you came to be inside my masks of openess subdued when i float amidst thoughts of you pilgrim a call in the dark ... it had been a full day done, resting, earned, in the effort given then the ringing .... a late eve's call unexpected and searing as it burned, revealing a child sobbing desparation tolling the wail of an anguished soul cavitating no more silent screams, alone and echoing tormented inner wanderings, a youth's chaotic grappling for life's meaning, the sanctity and surety rationalizing being alive with safe harbour, on all sides that trembling voice whisperring help me please, i am falling a plea, beckoning, a time for one's reckoning and so life changing, quietly going to him, guarding his privacy nothing else matterring to me it was my boy, needing me i couldn't say, you couldn't see and so Life goes, twisted turns sometimes it soothes, while others burn silent screams, do indeed, alter our destinies pilgrim tripping thru niteshare... the AGony and the exstacy, this EVE it climbs inside of me a WILDFIRE of SWEET EMOTIONS, SULTRYVOICEd in the darkening day's end coming, an ANGELKISS from a FIESTY FIERY ANGEL BLAZEing 1 GOOD MESS resolved, lessons we TEACHFROMTX and beyond LETTY be, LETTY be, no more MISSBEHAVIN, or strewing of LACE PANTIES HOT LOVERS shrilling like TWEETYBIRDS amidst DARK ANGELS BUMPNFUZZYS, stroking RAVEN's_JADE, while INNOCENT BYSTANDERS muse like SOCRATEZE feelings lit within DANTE'S INFERNO, while COUNTRY BOYs and BAMAGIRLs frolic with their dearest one, an AMBER_34 and NO ONE SPECIAL, while we rest on WATERFLOWERS, the dampness RIPPLEs CHEEKS the GIRLNEXTDOOR, an IRISHLASS, or an LA LOVELYLADY an INDIANAGIRL or KIWIGAL, sipping BRANDI who with CHARITY, make our DESTINEY, the dance of GHODD above, DARK AND MYSTERIOUS it happens, whilst STEELCOWBOYS and BIKERBABEs wheel on thruout the land. HARD_RIDERs all GUESS WHO, HIS LADY's HEARTDESIRE JUST_WATCHING SIMPLYLISSA while he, JUST AN OBSERVOR pondered how to cross an ocean a TON of questions, and MAJOR BITCHes fluttered 'bout his mind the rest of us could only MUSE, oh why can't that be us? pilgrim *******************************************************
Words What are they? What do people mean when they tell you something? They tell you lots of things Some are to be believed ... just have to because you know better Others you don't because they say it and mean something else Then on days when you think you know better It all falls down in a heap You are not sure what to think or what to feel How do people's minds work when they speak? Or is it just me being paranoid? What am i to believe with people these days? What are they telling me? Some i do know are there telling me straight What is it in people's minds though When they speak but those words ... what do they mean? ~JustAnObserver~ Tick Tock What goes inside people's minds? I am left to ponder that lately Why do they do the things they do? What motivates them to do it How can they treat someone so close to them this way? They do these things maybe not intentionally but it sure hurts Their primary motivation is for themselves that is not always bad Treating someone like this is not in their nature But sometimes they "just have to do what they have to do" It seems like they run over you with a semi trailer and it wouldn't matter Achieving the ultimate goal for their own gain at expense is what they're after Do you wonder if they are thinking straight or it is really them? God Damn it is upsetting why are they doing this? I just don't buy the lines they give you Setting the record straight would be good But it seemingly isn't at this stage while they're ignoring you All you want is to just grab them and tell them "STOP!" You want them to listen but will they listen ... they aren't I'm so sorry i don't deserve this i am a close friend But it just doesn't seem to seep through right now When will you get the answers you are looking for? When will you get the old person back? What makes them do these things that are hurting you so bad? Do they have any idea what they are doing? Damn i know i want answers real fast This wears me down real quick when it just goes on and on I want that old person back and the answers I want to stop feeling the hurt that i am feeling That wall that seems to be between the two of you must break down God I think I hear the sound TICK TOCK ... someone is thinking ~JustAnObserver~ ***************************************************
Everyday Early in the morning I reach for you And I smile I can't feel you But I know you are there In my heart And in my soul The time we spend together Is so precious So priceless Because every hour spent talking Closes the gap between us Emotionally and spiritually Each day brings surprises Something new I didn't know about you Everything about you amazes me From your kind heart To your sense of humor The more I learn about you The more I crave to know We don't know what to expect And the key to our growth Is taking our time Slowing getting to know each other Just know this When there are times we cannot talk You are always in my thoughts I am very thankful you entered my life And ever more grateful that you are willing To take this adventure with me Maybe we will find the true love We both desire Within one another But at the very least What we have already found Is a lasting friendship ~~~~Christy~~~~ To Whom It May Concern I thought I was angry But I now realize It's bitterness I get confused at times Because I have no clue How or why people Can be so self-centered When you give someone Friendship or love It's not really too much to ask For them to give it back Is it? So why then After 2 years Of devoted friendship Did you disregard Not only MY feelings But the feelings of the man who loved you? He would have given you the world And I would have given you the moon When all is said and done We are better off without you I wish nothing bad for you But rather I wish you to find the happiness We so obviously could not give you And however you find it I have just one request Stay as far away from us as possible Because the longer you are out of site and mind The sooner I can get rid of this bitterness IndianaGirl Uncertainty I have strength Just not sure if it's the kind I need for this Maybe what I need is patience Which at times it seems I have so little of I have such an empty feeling in my stomache Or maybe it's my heart The uncertainty of everything From day to day Keeps my emotions on a roller coaster Somedays you are there Somedays you are not Frustration takes over Before I can take control of it Especially when I wish and hope From hour to hour That you'll be there And still you are nowhere to be found The explanations Are believeable And verifiable But that doesn't make it any easier to accept There is a constant struggle for me To accept the situation For what it is at face value All I can do is try Because I know if I don't I might regret it And I don't want to let you get away Without knowing What my heart is saying Will your heart answer back? Only time will tell ~~~Christy~~~ When I Think Of You When I think of your touch I think it must feel like rose petals on my skin I dream at night of your lips touching mine They feel like smoothe velvet Your heartbeat is resounding in my ears As it beats simultaneously with mine The strength of your arms as they surround me Give me a sense of safety and protection We are cautious Rightfully so Sometimes questioning Whether or not This awesome chemistry we have together now Will remain when we meet for the first time I didn't realize though until right now That my doubts diminish More and more each and everday I know that our first meeting Our first velvet kiss Our first soft touch And our first look into each other's eyes Will not only be magical But we will be able to look so far into each other That you will be able to see my soul And I will be able to see yours Then And only then The fireworks begin Ending with the grand finale Called love ~~~~Christy~~~ Virtual Reality Online feelings Are they any less relevant Than "real" feelings? Don't you still get that same feeling Of butterflies in your stomache When you see them log on? Don't you still feel your heart Beat louder and faster When they call you sweetheart? Don't you still want to spend Every second you can with them? Don't you still share your dreams And fears with each other? Maybe I am just a dreamer Because in my heart I truly believe What is right now considered Virtual Fantasy Can one day become Virtual Reality IndianaGirl My Brother Your my brother Something I give thanks for everyday No matter where we are Or how far apart we seem I promise to always be here for you There has never been a time in my life That you have ever judged me Or looked down on me You have never lectured me Or belittled me What you have done Is constantly Support me no matter what Sympathized with me when times were rough Comforted me when things went horribly wrong But mostly You just love me As dysfunctional as our family is It's amazing we remain sane We are able to do that I believe By being there for each other I know we are far apart right now And I want you to know I am grateful to call you brother And lucky enough to be able to call you my friend I love you ~~~~Christy~~~ Focus Controversy everywhere People demanding respect Yet not giving it People crying about offensiveness Then demanding censorship for some So,,,,,, I sat down today Alone outside I let all of that seep out of me By opening ALL of my senses I smelled fresh cut grass I heard the sound of a sprinkler in the distance I heard the laughter of children playing I saw beautiful blooming flowers I saw the crisp, clear water of a swimming pool I saw the inviting waves drifting off the lake to shore I felt warm sand sifting thru my fingers and toes I felt the warm sun dancing across my cheeks I guess I wish EVERYONE Could let at least some of the controversy out And let some love replace it It's easier sometimes To focus on so many bad things When maybe what everyone Needs to do Is focus on all the good things Well, a girl can dream, right? ~~~~Christy~~~ *************************************************
Silver Tongues .... The Net is a wondrous place .. It can be happy .. It can be sad .. People looking for mere friendship .. some love .. others for something they never had ... Some live in reality .. some in denial .. some in the truth.. some in lies.. Some bring happiness .. some sadness .. and to justify the hurt .. use alibis .. Some of us are good with words .. we are the ones who write the rhymes .. That touch others hearts .. and lets you read between the lines ... I use my words for good .. not to hurt .. not to take advantage of the weak .. and destroy.. But there are those with silver tongue.. that prey upon the weak .. using goodness as a decoy ... Some of you don't know me .. some of you do .. but I have never written without a true heart .. And I will never use my words ..to get to you ..use you .. with the intention of ripping you apart.. God has given me a perception .. that sometimes I call a curse .. and it won't go away .. I feel people .. without sight or touch .. See through them and the games that they play .. To see someone use words to gain pity .. trust .. use a body.. infuriates me .. To watch it happen ..time and time again ..and say nothing .. would be cowardly .. So I say .. beware of the false poets .. who's sugar sweet .. honey coated words .. suck you in .. make you believe .. Only to use and abuse you .. take all they can .. then leave you ..with pieces of you to retreive .. To move on to another and another .. on an ego trip .. trying to be something they will never be in the end .. Using the good and the weak .. silently stalking ..in the guise of a friend .. I could close my eyes .. still my voice .. and watch them move on to someone else .. However if I did that .. I would not only betray those I care about .. but put a "what if" trip upon myself.. Some of you will hate me for my honesty .. But still deny the truth of the hurt to come .. But know this .. I stand steadfast.. and will be here as a shoulder .. non condemning .. when the game is done .. So beware of the silver tongue .. remember that satan was once an angel that fell .. And evil sometimes appears good .. imitating Heaven .. that in the end is pure Hell .. So now I'm done .. I have said all there is to say.... My conscience now at rest .. I gave you all the tools you need .. but I cannot help you pass the test .. Just remember all is not gold that shines with a glisten .. and know.. that no matter what .. I'll still be here to listen .. WildFire-m What You Say ? What you say ... You logged onto the net ? ...... Greeted with smileys.. and warm embraces .. Then all of a sudden there's your kids faces .. Yelling .. "hey! .. Where's our breakfast at ? " .. Reply ? ... "Get out of here ! .. Can't you see ..I'm in chat ? " The window's open .yeah .. you like the fresh air .. A bird is singing in a tree out there .. But it's sweet song .. irritates you .. 'Cause you can't hear the voice on Yahoo .. Too worried about your next cyber fuck .. So if the kids need lovin' .. They are shit outta luck .. "Weather's nice..Let's go play ball " .. "Go away! .. I'm expecting a call " .. Oh looky .. A player just arrived ... And his mouth is in overdrive..... "Gonna leave the net !" ..He's says .. "forever" Since when I ask .. Is forever .... "never ? " .. Drama Queens .. and Cyber Kings .. Erotic mail ..sensual words ..and other things .. The kid skins his knee .. In his eye a big tear .. "Hey .. I'm busy iming .. get out of here .. " .. I need to get up and walk away .. And my mind strays to the future..from today .. Ain't it funny how fast they grow ? .. They don't stay little forever you know .... And there you are .. with cane in hand .. An older but wiser ..woman or man .. "Hey my child .. Can you help me with my meds ? " .. Expecting compassion .. But you get instead .. "Not right now ..I haven't got time " "can't you see ..... I'm busy online?" WildFire-m Who's Doing Who ? Unanswered questions .. friendships abused .. And I am sitting here ..so very confused .. She's with him.. and he's with her ? .. But how in the Hell ..do you know for sure .. ? A dime a dozen .. are the words "I love you " And I'll be damned if I know .. Who's doing who? .. The freakin' rumors .. can drive a guy to drink .. When someone you know ain't with someone you think .. But hey.. this is chat .. so why am I asking ? .. OOPS! .. Did I interupt .. your multi tasking ? .. What? ..He's getting it on with you ? .. All I can say .. Is I'm glad I ain't you .. And I don't want to know .. Who's doing who ? She walks in the room.. and there is a change .. She doesn't notice that you're acting strange .. My eyes do the roll .. she doesn't see what I see .. Maybe she's blind .. or maybe it's just me .. Or maybe she's blonde .. and doesn't have a clue .. Maybe it's best she don't know .. Who's doing who ? You're with this one today .. and tomorrow another .. I'm afraid to ask ..How's your significant other? .. Cause what if that person is not the same ? .. and I fuck things up with the wrong name ? .. In all all honesty ..I don't give a damn who you do .. So forget that I asked .. Who's doing who ? But please forgive me .. If I don't follow your lead .. 'Cause I have my sweet baby .. and she's all that I need .. And this poem just came out of the blue ... When Meg walked into my place .. And with that ever innocent face .. Said .."Hey! What's been happening ? .... and .. Who's doing who? " Now hear this ! .. This was all in fun .. I repeat .. OH OH .. Hey you over there ? .. Why you squirming in your seat ? WildFire-m ********************************************
Just for a moment just for a moment the years turn back, and a teardrop falls making a track, the rush of memories hit like a wave, remembering what and all I gave, it wasnt enough to keep you then, then came a line of unwanted men, I keep it all my regrets are few, turning away from love because of you, strapping on burden to hurt myself, feeling alone and left on the shelf, not ashamed of where I am, just tired of this overplayed sham, points are plenty and ready to score, always wondering where to find more, this time is over for the game I see, this time is for lovers and not for me, curled and bottled to keep forever, taken and stirred but never for her, you still effect me like you did back then, before I realised its time to begin. wildestdream Thank you have I ever thanked you friend, for staying with me until the bitter end, for listening to my contant chatter, for putting up with all that really dont matter, for tears youve shared to show you care, for crosses carried that were mine to bare, for holding me when I was falling, for offering excuses for him not calling, for disliking everything that I pointed out, for standing in front of me when others did shout, for taking the time to see if I was okay, for finding me when I lost my way, for keeping me safe away from the others, for letting me grow without being smothered, for telling me truth when others lied, for being steadfast amidst the goodbyes, I thank you my friend for all these things, & I wish all the best and what life does bring, you are my friend that is special to me, my light in the dark that allows me to see. wildestdream *****************************************************
Fire~~~~ Screens...filled with words the subtle art of erotica thoughts converging...impact desired reaction in the attraction Dancing with the fire..oh so hot feel it thru your soul...alive..sizzle a familiar ache...desire to be wild a need satisifed...a torture awaiting Come close...experience this witness first hand..mesmerize feel it coursing in your veins seeking hidden secrets... Nothing left uncovered...it sees all the fantasy you want the reality you know so well brought together under the spell Primal screams...ringing free souls consumed in a touch the fire burns on out of control unguarded, unchecked...rampant Bodies fused together as one identities unknown..unclamied energy crackling...snapping in the air temperature rising...burn fire..burn Massive meltdown..molten lava human feelings as kindling explosions abound..the fire rages on consuming any and all...over and over Critical stage..blown by energy gone..collapse structural damage minimal emotional bonding un-breakable You...a keeper of the flame igniting my desire..ravaging my soul a firestorm of epic proportion one that fuels my need for you...and the Fire~ Jamee Caution... Please don't be sad at the words they are how I communicate feelings and fears..some so deep some sad, some happy, some strange When you encounter me be aware I have thorns..and they are sharp they protect me when I need it keeping you at a distance There is a vunerable side one that has many deep scars some will never heal... some are faint now...time helped Love is something I take seriously it's not just words on paper actions illustrate the point I know when it's in my heart Please accept me for just that...me changing me is not an option I am the person I always am days you may not like me..it's ok There are times I have fears they may seem trivial to many but they are real to me.. they haunt me..awake and in dreams Understand that I need you to have you near...a comfort zone sometimes no words...just touch other times a reassuring conversation You see I am...and will be better for knowing and loving you accepting willingly the emotions especially ...LOVE..please use caution Jamee Talk A familiar voice on the line slow smile spreading across my face gentle sweet greetings exchanged happy sighs..soft giggles..eager replies Discussions of the day..plans to be made two different worlds, so damn far away so for a few treasured moments we steal time away..just you and I and our day Sometimes interupted..bad timing and all apologies given and reassurances known getting lost in a voice...so sweet and strong making me wish for more than this phone Hints of passion flow from our lips keeping it light..laughter thrown in each knowing the other aches holding a receiver instead of each other Butterflies dancing deep inside wanting to tell you of the feeling my heart racing and skipping beats to talk to you is one special treat Knowing what makes you tick weaving a spell..working tricks driving you crazy ..your heart pounds wanting you even across the miles Phone cards and minutes ticking away saving some time to call another day reluctant to hang up my connection to you but tomorrow..sigh.. a new call from you Quietly I travel back into my day work to be done..things to be planned when suddenly to my surprise.. I hear you in the back of my mind Smile is back across my face you are with me more than you think So here is hoping you hear me too.. my soft voice...asking..please...talk more... Jamee Freedom Today you shared with me secrets deep within your soul petrified I would run..scorn you not be able to understand at all Slowly you struggled to find words to answer the questions before you touching old wounds that haven't healed seeing things in the broad daylight You patiently tried to piece it together a picture so jagged and broken a world destroyed long ago and your survival thru it all I sat in silence..my heart aching for you for you see I knew it was difficult these things you wished away but you had the strength to wade thru Years of anger, frustration and hurt flowing like a river from you... hesitant to say much..your soul on the line you pushed yourself and trusted in me So now comes the time to say a thousdand words to you so that you will see...it was okay I was with you and I chose to stay I am sorry for the pain you endured something I never hope to have but you are here and so am I bonded ..sharing sadness and joy Look back upon today with a smile remeber the weight lifting and the sigh for see you believed in life again Happiness ahead ..today was your victory... Freedom Jamee When Sitting staring at a screen words appearing rapidly promises and wishes each day we grow closer Each hiding something deep we are afraid to reveal thinking in the midst of all the other will leave..be gone I listened as you explained how things had gone astray how the world had changed and how you tried to cope Then came the time .. to let you see what haunted me memories of pain searing and hot things that made me doubt alot Fears so real they can chill you leaving you with a heart of stone afraid to allow others in thinking they will be like all the others Gentle assurances from us both wanting the other to see no matter the ugliness there a determination and desire to stay A friendship for life developed each knowing the other is there days will be good..some really bad someone who sees the hell and holds on Today a new bridge crossed one rickety and old.. so many before afraid to look scared of their own dark fears So now we smile..both relieved a clearer path just ahead a new and very trusted companion each showing the other...now is the time Reflecting on the world we share knowing I believe in you ..endlessly you listened and replied carefully and now we know...it has come...the when... Jamee Round Again... What..here it goes again time after time..over and over he said..she said...they said never ending cirlce...crap Getting tired of it all watching...waiting... knowing it will happen like it has before Assumptions made no matter feelings raw and exposed shove the knife a bit deeper make sure the soul is gone Can't be happy ..no not allowed must always be the good one never out of line...enclosed stifle her...let her wilt... People curious of others world's turning and twisting the tales making mountains out of molehills juicy tidbits to make it all grow Hope others learn from the words that people are watching...waiting to pass on things..they know so little make more fun ...just to ridicule So quiety stepping back...again stay in the shadows...safe where hopefully obsecurity abounds so don't ask..no reason...here it goes...Round again Jamee New Thoughts... Sat down at my computer blank screen staring back wondered what I wanted to say and who would be taken aback Let's see if I wrote of the erotic bodies entwined...movements the subtle art of passion the raw animal instinct gone astray Boy would people gasp in surprize wondering what I had in mind were these tales of fanciful flight or what she does on saturday night I could write of politics and the world how screwed up it really all is dictators, prime ministers and presidents needing a score card to keep it all straight I could venture into issues...oh my but writing there would take a country mile for eveyone has them ..some more than others and to read them all would be quite the struggle Writing in the locker room or in girl talk even I get confused on some of the thoughts for one asks, one answers and off it goes.. I think maybe a middle room for just us PMS ers.. What I guess what I am saying in a roundabout way is that new patterns of thought emerge every day some of the patterns scare even me but oh what the hell..you know we all need..NEW THOUGHTS Jamee Ever Wonder ? Ever wonder what it is what makes people tick why they act a certain way do they really know everything Can't they see ...or do they ignore the waves created in the water when they don't consider others just blinding pushing forward Emotional scars created in an instant devastation on an epic scale so what they left someone in tears better them than you..how cold What do they see in the morning mirror do they see the monster they are..no for them what they see is perfect..flawless funny they actually like themselves Walking thru their day obilivious happy being a source of contention they are quick to judge..no mercy but heaven forbid they be treated the same When did they become immune..inhumane was it the day the they hurt you or me no this is a pattern from a long ago something practiced on a schoolyard Yeah I know..bleeding heart here one of those compassionate ones you know the type..have a heart listens, cares, repairs, smiles Well next time you cross me just remember I am human I have faults..imperfections I see the disdain on your face Granted we function in a cyber state where sometimes we are blind not sure who the good guys are but now when I look..I will forever more...wonder Jamee Wishes Ever have a time in your life where you needed to say something a special moment to show someone just how much they mean to you Words came and went ..quickly nothing seemed to come together random thoughts and feelings all of it anxious to burst out So you sat down quietly stared at a screen..blank and mocking you knowing how you felt the screen almost laughing at your quandry Relax....breathe...let it go.. and then the words came slowly at first...picking up speed making sense of the feelings inside The time I spend with you means the world to me makes me stop and say thanks I have a treasure in you ..so special Days come and go so fast with you I see you in the morning smile in place tender greeting spoken in soft tones you with your coffee..me and my coke Both our days busy as usual appointments, files, tons of calls but always a moment together even a simple hello..love ya ..got to go Afternoon flying by..frantic pace you on my mind..smile on my face a time out for me..call to you that voice...big smile from me Evening comes and we settle in words passed back and forth exhausted but sharing love comparing notes, problems and laughs So you see I could not ask for a better place to be safe in the knowledge we share of the incredible things known as WISHES... Jamee **sighs** Soft gentle lips on mine a sweet tender kiss so much emotion..so much bliss beginning a day together..sigh Daily chores, work and such keep us busy sometimes out of touch then I find my mind wandering back to the moment of the kiss ...sigh Happiness knowing the day is over heading back to the place I discover holds so much magic for me and another time spent together one on one...sigh Smiles on our faces..glad to be here eyes bright and arms ever reaching hellos whispered soft and sweet oh how I love those eyes...sigh Your arms so inviting...caressing and warm holding me tight ..nothing can be wrong listening to your hearbeat..so strong Thanking God you came along...sigh Head tilted up...arms sliding in place persistantly tugging you down to me I can't believe..oh my ...can it be a moment suspended in time ...sigh Lips on mine so warm and giving taking my breath in single second knowing the sweetness of you giving in and being devoured by you..sigh The beginning of the end of my day really so perfect in every way swaying to music locked in our heads the same kind of kiss that started the day....sigh A magical time away from the world no time limits, cell phones or interuptions a special world we journey into a kiss and the perfect "I Love You"..... **sigh** Jamee A small voice... So soft the voice.. almost like an angel talking a smile so bright..so sweet eyes sparkling ready to go New outfit and shoes Every hair in place new lunch box..scooby do back pack filled with supplies Hand held tightly in mine a small nervous smile face searching for assurance a promise to be there afterschool Teachers standing there with signs boys and girls scrambling for a place eager to start a new adventure a whole new year of classroom surprizes Careful glances back..watching standing to wave at you ..goodbye so proud of you little one..so grown up tears sliding down my cheek Now you enter a new stage in life friendships waiting to happen slumber parties, dances all to come and in my head I hear ..love you Mee-Mee.. a small voice Dedicated to my nieces as they head off to a new school year... my love to you both and please know how proud I am of you both ! Jamee Seasons and change Noticed the sun comes up later now the air is a bit cooler..lighter the birds sound more mature life changing once again Spring this year was troubled too many problems..not enough answers my life out of control hopeless to the point of disaster Summer things only worsened seemed my dances with the devil intensified choices being considered..not so wise ready to give in ..let go..fall Now autumn is approaching life has taken an upswing things look so much better found me again..so thankful Decided to live on my terms enjoy the day..share the feeling concentrate on the positive let the negative go...flow away Learning now to forgive myself knowing I can't please everyone trying my best to make it thru grabbing the opportunities out there Grateful to see the coming winter the clean crispness of the air keeping my mind clear and focused helping to move me to a better spring Life's a gift we sometimes forget take for granted ...endlessly caught up in the drama of everyday so glad now ..life is better..with seasons and change Jamee Oh Goodness... Took a time out...just left all the writings on the table most of them unfinished the desire to write..gone Days become a blur.. one rolled right into the other nothing positive to say keep away..sort thru it all Friends worried..called..wrote kept everyone at arms length made sense at the time feelings voided..life stagnet You...a gentle stranger someone who offered a smile never asked for more.. accepted the brevity of my words Time and time we spoke.. trivial matters..a joke shared an observation here and there a wish for a good day or a nice night Now that's come about even more I find I look for you in my day an oasis I find tranquility in a gentle understanding between us Happiness returning to the darkness light spreading..reflecting...settling Smiles come easily again..and genuine laughter rings in the conversation You made a difference..amazing restored my belief in people again gave me the strength I needed to return to my writing.. In a special way you share ... a zest for life and a love for people you whispered to my heart...softly calling me out..slowly...patiently...oh my goodness I took the space I needed to re-group and reconnect to life...not sure I wanted to but ...well this works tells the story...I won't mention any names...but thank you from the bottom of my heart... Jamee