Always on my mind,
And its worth nothing,
To try and rid myself of you.
You persist, I persist,
In recalling you to memory,
And despite my callous ways,
I can not but love you,
Can not but miss you.
I falter,
Everyday with the failing of my heart,
As with every breath I take,
With every call I make,
I feel the rift broaden.
I�m sorry,
For myself mostly,
That I left you to change,
Oh how you�ve changed.
I want to say it all,
Scream it in your face,
Unleash this pent up,
Dolled up rage.
You loved me once,
Though that�s not enough for me.
Heaven help me,
God forgive me,
I will persist,
I will prolong the inevitable,
I will miss you.
You are the fowl upon which I feed,
The thought by which I define,
The breath by which I persist,
The means to an end.
Locked up, broken up,
A mindful dolt in love.
I seem to everyone this or that,
But never in truth,
Who I am.
Next
Now I wait for what may come,
What rest may bring,
This world of truth,
Where failure plods along,
I intend with all certainty,
To swiftly here escape.
The clean cool,
The reassuring warmth,
The feeling of this wind,
Upon my taut and unassuming face.
These dreams I breathe,
In the wake of your memory,
I find myself contemplating,
The uncertainty involved,
The hapless unending road,
I�ve taken� to this point,
Don�t abandon me,
You told me you love me,
And now that I�ve found you,
You�ve forgotten me.
Degrading yourself I�ve found,
Denying what you were,
Claiming what you are,
This moment�
Does he mean that much to you?
Honestly� I�m dying inside,
And I�m wishing things were the way they were before�
You told me you loved me,
And now that I�ve found you,
You�ve forgotten me,
And I wish,
Certainly�
That I could do the same.
Deny me my thoughts,
Deny me my longing,
To return to the past,
Unhindered by reality�
Unhindered by a fucked up me.
Truly you�ll find,
Its true,
When I left you,
I left myself,
And my love for you,
Blossomed and grew,
And I then knew,
Nothing but you.
I made my mistake,
I burned my bridges,
And stuck on an island,
I�m waiting for my ship to set sail,
But the winds are wrong,
The seas rolling back,
And crashing up this shore.
All I want is escape,
From this �love�,
And I�m guessing I�ll never find it,
I�ll never know peace�
I guess,
I guess,
That I�ll walk dead though alive,
Dead to you,
Alive to a world, void�
Of you.
