 |
| Nashville High School Band Band Jokes- Page 5 |
 |
| 2003-2004 |
| Band Director: L. Cross |
| Brass Continued French Horn Jokes -How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section? Have them miss every other note. -How can you make a trombone sound like a french horn? Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes. -What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy? You can tune a '57 Chevy. -What do you get when you cross a French Horn player and a goalpost? A goalpost that can't march. -How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks. -Why is the French horn a divine instrument? Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it. -How do horn players traditionally greet each other? "Hi. I played that last year." "Hi. I did that piece in junior high." -A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?" "Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all." The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?" "Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!" The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?" "Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved the way he held me!" Tuba Jokes -What's the range of a tuba? Twenty yards if you've got a good arm! -How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb? Three! One to hold the bulb and two to drink 'till the room spins. -What's a tuba for? 1 1/2" by 3 1/2" unless you request "full cut." Note: in the USA, a 2 x 4 is a two-inch by four-inch piece of wood, which actually measures 1 1/2 inches by 3 1/2 inches. -How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue. -These two tuba players walk past a bar... Well, it could happen! ------------------------------ Next Page Index |