Nashville High School Band
Band Jokes- Page 3
2003-2004
Band Director: L. Cross
Today's Quote
Woodwinds

Flute/Piccolo Jokes

-How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?
     Shoot one.

-Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."

Double Reed Jokes

-Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
     The bassoon burns longer.

-What is a burning oboe good for?
     Setting a bassoon on fire.

-What is the definition of a half step?
     Two oboes playing in unison.

-What is the definition of a major second?
     Two baroque oboes playing in unison.

-How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
     Take the batteries out of his electric tuner.

-Why did the chicken cross the road?
     To get away from the bassoon recital.

-What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
     A bad oboist can kill you.

Clarinet Jokes

-How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?
   Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

-What's the definition of "nerd?"
     Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

-What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
     Gifted.

Saxophone Jokes

You might notice that there are very few jokes about the clarinet. This is out of sympathy. The clarinet has already been the butt of so many jokes - the saxophone, for instance.

-How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb?
     Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it.

-What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower?
     Lawn mowers sound better in small ensemles.
     The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
     The grip.

-What's the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?
     The exhaust.

-The soprano, not being smart enough to use birth control, says to her saxophophonist lover, "Honey, I think you better pull out now."
He replies, "Why? Am I sharp?"

-Small wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world when so much of it has passed through saxophones.-

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