1) MOM: didn't I tell you that if a guy touches your
>>ASS,
>>say DON'T. And if he touches your BOOBS say STOP!
>>GIRL: But mom, he touched both so i said: DON'T
>>STOP...!!!
>>
>>2) Sex is math:
>>Add a girl to the bed,
>>Subtract her clothes,
>>Divide her legs and
>>start multiply!!!
>>
>>3) LITTLE GIRL: Mommy,
>>I just found out that our neighbor's son has a penis
>>like a
>>peanut!
>>MOM: You mean it's small?
>>LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!
>>
>>4) A couple recently married was happy with the whole
>>thing.
>>He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the
>>thing.
>>
>>5) Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?
>>2% eat.
>>3% smoke cigarettes.
>>4% take shower.
>>5% go to sleep.
>>86% get up and go back home to their wives.
>>
>>6) What is a KISS?
>>It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower
>>INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION
>>with fast ACCELERATION that will build
>>next GENERATION.
>>
>>7) A man was carrying 10 babies in a train.
>>The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your
>>babies?
>>MAN: No, I work in a condom factory
>>and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
>>
>>8) Women top 5 lies:
>>5. I am a virgin.
>>4. It is so big.
>>3. I can't do that to my best friend.
>>2. I won't gain weight after marriage.
>>1. I am coming I am coming!!!
>>
>>9) Why is your dick better than a credit card?
>>1. Once spent it will recharge itself.
>>2. It is accepted worldwide.
>>3. You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
>>
>>10) A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says:
>>You want to play magic?
>>She says: What is that?
>>He says: We go Home, F**k, and then you disappear.
>>
>>11) What is the closest thing to a woman's period?
>>Your SALARY...
>>It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days,
>>and if it doesn't come, you are FU**ED!!!
>>
>>
>>
>>A sexy sardarni in New York
>>went to a worldwide message centre to
>>send a message to her mother in India.
>>The phirangi guy told her it would cost $100
>>She exclaimed, "I don't have that kind of money!
>>But I would do anything to get a message
>>to my mother in Punjab-India!"
>>The man arched an eyebrow and asked: "Anything?"
>>"Yes, anything!" promises the sardarni.
>>With that, the man said,
>>"Follow me", walked into the next room and ordered,
>>"Come in and close the door."
>>She did. He then said,
>>"Get on your knees." She did.
>>Then he said, "Unzip me." She did.
>>He said, "Go ahead...take it out."
>>She took it out and grabbed hold of it with both
>>hands.
>>The man closed his eyes and whispered,
>>"Well...go ahead damn it!"
>>The Sardarni slowly brought her lips closer,
>>and said loudly,
>>"Hello...Mummyjee?"