BTVS Unforgiven 1/3 - Willow/Tara - PG13


Unforgiven
Part 1/3

Author: Frau Hunter Ash 

Copyright © 2002 by Hunter Ash. All Rights Reserved.

Email: carrkjar@yahoo.com Feedback welcome!!

Homepage Addy: http://www.hunterash.com/ 

Disclaimers: The characters of Buffy and Angel belong to Joss Whedon, 
Fox, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui, and God only knows who else. The storyline, 
however, is the sole property of the author. This story cannot be 
sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made 
for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright 
notices.

F/F romance: the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship 
between people of the same gender. If this offends or is illegal for 
you, then please leave. Come back when you are older, have an open 
mind, moved, or changed your laws. 

Spoilers: Wrecked, Season 6

Summary: This takes place after Wrecked. Willow decides to leave 
Sunnydale after the disasters with Rack and black magic. When she's 
finally found by Angel and crew, she's nearly dead from exhaustion 
and malnutrition and in a coma. 
Warning: Buffy is a little self centered in this one.

Rating: PG-13, Tara and Willow were a couple and might be again. A 
couple of bad words – that's it for this. 

++++++++++

"Hey, Buffy!" Xander's voice caught the Slayer off guard as she 
opened the door to walk Dawn to school; instinctively her hand went 
inside her jacket for her trusty stake.

"Easy, Buff!" the Slayer's best male friend smiled a quirky smile as 
he trotted up the sidewalk.

"What's up?" Dawn asked, always with the curiosity of a precocious 
kitten.

"Shouldn't you be at your job?" Buffy added.

"You haven't seen the paper this morning, have you?" he asked, 
thrusting one in Buffy's direction and went on to explain his 
presence before she could even unfold it.

"Rack is dead," he smiled a grim smile.

"Rack? The black magick guy Willow was messed up with last week?" 
Buffy asked with a frown, opening the paper quickly and scanning the 
inside page for the sketchy report.

"Yeah, I already called Willie," Xander said proudly.

"Says here that he was killed, no suspects," Buffy muttered. "Let's 
walk Dawn to school and you can tell me what Willy said."

"Good idea but one question first," Xander said. "Have you seen 
Willow this morning?"

"No, why?" Buffy asked. "We haven't talked since last week. I know 
she had a rough time coming down off that magick thing she did with 
Rack and she's been keeping a low profile."

"Yeah, especially after almost getting me killed!" Dawn added, her 
voice bitter. Xander could tell she still hadn't forgiven Willow for 
that incident. Demons, cars driving themselves and Willow breaking 
her arm was a little over the top.

"Well, Willie said that someone in a cloak showed up at Rack's last 
night, they went in the back room," Xander explained. "Apparently, 
whatever they were doing went wrong or Rack got rough. The witches at 
the party said that they heard screams of a woman telling him `no' 
and then the sounds of breaking furniture. Fight sounds, more screams 
and then nothing."

"Didn't they try and get in?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, but the door was sealed with magic and they couldn't get in 
until they heard Rack yelling and then crashing glass," Xander 
continued. "When they broke in, Rack had several knife wounds in his 
back, a girl's shirt in his hands and the window was broken. No sign 
of the girl in the cloak."

"So why ask about Willow?" Buffy continued frowning, not liking where 
her own thoughts were going and where she suspected Xander's had 
already been.

"The cloak left behind had red hairs in the hood," Xander said softly.

Buffy shook her head. "No, Willow gave up magick, she wouldn't go 
back to Rack and she would not kill anyone!"

"If she went there to break his hold on her or something and he got 
out of line?" Xander suggested.

"No, not Will!" Buffy protested. "She's not capable of murder."

"Buffy, if someone were raping you or Dawn, you'd kill them," Xander 
said softly.

Dawn's eyes went wide with confusion and surprise as they all 
considered the possibilities.

"Okay, let's ask if she was out last night," Buffy snapped, turning 
back towards the house. "Xander, call the school and tell them Dawn 
is going to be late, she has a dentist appointment or something."

"Sure," he agreed, following the sisters into the Summers' house.

Buffy pounded up the stairs with Dawn right behind her while Xander 
headed for the phone.

"Will?" the Slayer called, knocking on the witch's door. She wasn't 
surprised she hadn't run into Willow. Buffy had been correct, Willow 
had been keeping a low profile around the Scooby Gang ever since the 
demon incident and Dawn's broken arm. 

Buffy had yelled at her, Willow had apologized and promised no more 
magick, and then spent three days in her room. Buffy had gone in 
occasionally to check on her wayward friend and was distressed to 
find Willow suffering physically and mentally from purging the black 
magick from her system but after the third day Willow had been more 
like herself. The witch looked like she had been through a major 
case of a bad flu but promised she was better and no more magick.

The Slayer had also been distracted by her insane relationship with 
Spike. She was either fighting or having sex with him, sometimes both 
in the same hour. Buffy was more than confused by her behavior. She 
liked Spike, sort of. Buffy definitely knew that she didn't love him 
but the only time she seemed alive was when she was fighting or 
shagging him.

Tara had also been keeping her distance from the Summers' house. She 
would meet Dawn for movies or sodas or something but she had made it 
clear after Willow's last mess that she didn't want to see her former 
lover anytime soon.

Buffy pounded on the door again. "Everyone is keeping vampire hours 
around here," she grumbled and tried the door. It opened easily.

The young blonde knew instantly something was wrong and what it was 
when she walked in the room and felt her mind trying to shut down.

"What is it, Buffy?" Dawn questioned, pushing past her older sister 
into Willow's room. She looked around, confused and trying to figure 
out what was wrong with the room.

Dawn wasn't surprised to find Willow's magick stuff missing, she had 
heard Willow throwing all of it out immediately after returning from 
the hospital where they had set Dawn's broken arm. The room seemed 
different though.

Buffy moved past Dawn as she heard Xander tromping up the stairs. 
The Slayer went to the bed, reaching for the paper waiting patiently 
on the pillow. She sat down slowly to read, knowing already what 
she'd find already. 

Xander looked around, his eyes widening as he took in missing 
pictures, laptop, a few books and open drawers and closet door.

The young man snapped his jaw shut as he watched Buffy read the note 
and then hand it to him.

"What?" Dawn demanded, she hated when someone knew something she 
didn't and she could tell by Xander and Buffy's faces they knew what 
was going on.

"Buffy and Gang; I'm very sorry about the magick thing. I know I 
messed everything up and you'll never trust me again. I can't stay 
here knowing how bad I screwed up my relationship with all of you. 
I'm leaving so Tara can come back and help take care of Dawn, it's 
not fair for me to stay in the house," Xander read.

"Buffy has Spike to fight with and whatever, Dawn prefers Tara to me 
right now and I can't blame her for that, I prefer Tara to me right 
now. Xander is happy with Anya and Giles left us. I don't fit in 
anymore and you'll always think of me as a danger to everyone," 
Xander continued.

"I love you all very much and I never meant to hurt anyone. I don't 
know where I'm going and don't care right now. Tell Tara, I never 
stopped loving her. Love, Willow."

"Goddamn it, Willow," Buffy muttered.

Xander handed the letter to Dawn and glanced around the room. "She 
took a couple of books, her laptop and very few clothes," he said, 
quickly making a mental inventory. The young man frowned and went to 
the end of the dresser and picked up a pair of discarded jeans. 

Buffy, catching his energy, looked up with a puzzled look as he 
frowned and threw the jeans at her. The Slayer stretched them out 
and felt her eyes widen. One thing the Vampire Slayer knew was blood 
stains on clothing. Ripped and bloody clothing was common in her 
profession. It wasn't common for Willow since she hadn't been out 
Slaying with Buffy since the "incident."

"Dawn, go call Tara and ask her to come over, she needs to know what 
happened and we need to decide what to do?" Buffy said softly, 
bundling the jeans back as Dawn looked up.

"Why not let her go? She's an adult." Dawn asked.

"She's a friend and she's in trouble," Buffy said firmly. "Willow 
risked her life and sanity for all of us many times; I'm not going to 
let her go without a fight."

"You didn't fight all that hard these last two weeks when she needed 
a friend," Dawn countered.

Buffy was on her feet and in Dawn's face in an instant, both sisters 
squaring off. Then the Slayer's face softened.

"You're right, sometimes I'm the worst friend in the world," Buffy 
acknowledged. "I take my friends for granted and I'm not there when 
they're hurting sometimes. Maybe it's time I grew up. Xander, call 
Tara and have Anya come over."

"Right," he responded, heading out the door and down the stairs.

"Dawn, I know you were hurt by Willow and Tara breaking up and what 
Willow did, but she didn't mean to hurt any of us," Buffy tried 
reasoning with the stubborn fifteen year old.

"I know that, it still sucks!" Dawn growled.

"Yeah, sometimes we have to remember our friends are human and make 
mistakes," Buffy commented. "If we don't find her in a couple of 
days, I'll let it go."

"You're just doing it because you feel like it's your duty," Dawn 
countered.

"Maybe," Buffy agreed. "I'll admit I'm still angry at her and things 
haven't been the same since I came back but we were friends for a 
long time and she cared for you after I died."

"And she brought you back," Dawn added, calming down slightly.

++++++++++

Tara was stunned and Anya was irritated that Willow was causing even 
more problems. 

"What do we do?" Xander asked.

"I say let her go," Anya volunteered. "She's been useless around the 
shop and we have a wedding to plan. We shouldn't be chasing after her 
after all she did."

Xander frowned. "She's still our friend."

"Do you want to be around her?' Anya countered. "You're scared to 
death that she's done another spell that's going to go wrong."

Xander didn't answer and continued to frown.

"I say we look for a couple of days and if she doesn't turn up, then 
we move on," Buffy suggested.

"You'd let her go that easily?" Tara asked, her voice soft and shy.

"I've got to find a decent job, help Dawn keep her grades up, pay the 
bills and all sorts of things," Buffy complained. "I don't have time 
to chase Willow around town because she's feeling sorry for herself."

"She said she was sorry for everything," Tara pointed out.

"That's nice," Dawn muttered and Buffy nodded.

"And she'll be sorry the next time she screws up," Buffy said 
bitterly, as if forgetting her earlier words about improving on her 
friendship skills. 

"Buffy, she risked her life and soul to bring you back," Tara 
protested. "She never meant to hurt anyone with what she's done. I 
know I've made mistakes in the past."

"We even forgave Angel for what he did to everyone," Xander added. 

"That wasn't Angel, it was Angeleus," Buffy corrected. "We'll look 
for her but I'm not going to spend the next two weeks chasing her. 
She'll come back. Where else could she go?" 

"Should we call Angel?" Xander asked thoughtfully. "She might show up 
there."

"If she does then they'll call us," Buffy growled. 

"What if she's really lost, emotionally and mentally?" Tara asked, 
still frowning along with Xander.

"She'll show up," Buffy said confidently. "Willow doesn't have 
anywhere else to go. We're her life."

"Then it's a sorry-assed life," Xander muttered, pulling away from 
Anya's hand on his arm.

"What's your problem?" Anya demanded and Buffy glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I think the only friend I've had since I was five years 
old is in trouble and no one seems to care except Tara!" he shouted.

"Maybe we don't care anymore," Dawn snapped.

"She loved you like a daughter or little sister," Xander protested.

"Yeah, I especially liked it when she broke my arm," Dawn sneered.

"Xander, Willow is just feeling sorry for herself," Anya added. "Let 
her cool off, she'll come crawling back in a week."

"I think I need a walk, wanna come Tara?" he asked, standing up from 
the sofa, leaving a stunned Anya glaring at him as he offered his 
hand to Tara.

"What?" Anya demanded.

"I need to think and I think Tara needs to get out of here and think 
as well," he muttered. 

Tara stood up, accepting his hand as Buffy shrugged and Dawn glared 
at them. Tara looked at the young teenager, clearly puzzled.

"Why are you angry at us?"

"Because you're doing exactly what she planned!" Dawn 
shouted. "Separating all of us, making her the center of attention 
again!"

"Dawn, I'm sorry you think that," Tara said slowly. "I don't think 
Willow did this for attention. I think she's serious about leaving."

"Then let her go," Dawn countered. "All she did was hurt you."

"Not intentionally, I know that," Tara shook her head. "I still love 
you, Dawnie, but I love Willow and I think she's in trouble."

"Anya and I will check the bus station, you guys check her house and 
see if she took her parent's car," Buffy instructed.

"Never mind," Xander snapped, stopping Buffy from getting up from her 
chair. "You're not interested. We'll do it ourselves."

"Xander, that's not fair!" Buffy yelled, jumping to her feet. "Of 
course I want to know she's alright and I want to find her."

"No, you haven't wanted to be around here since she brought you back 
and we've all known it," Xander said sadly. "She loved you, Buff, 
more than life itself. Come on, Tara."

Buffy frowned as the two Scooby Gang members walked out of her house. 
Anya looked angry enough to break something apart and Dawn was 
sulking.

"How did this day turn out so bad and it's not even 10 o'clock in the 
morning?" Buffy complained.

+++++++++++++++

Buffy grabbed the phone before Dawn could get her hands on it, her 
sister giving the Slayer a fine glare. The phone had become a source 
of irritation for both sisters, Buffy discovering something mothers 
had discovered decades before: popular teenage girls lived on the 
telephone.

"Hello?" Buffy answered, hoping it wasn't one of Dawn's friends but 
knowing it probably was. 

For the last two weeks, the phone had only been for Dawn. Xander and 
Tara refused to talk to Buffy, Dawn or Anya. 

In a weird twist of fate, Anya had agreed to move in to help Buffy 
care for and keep an eye on Dawn while Tara moved into Xander's 
apartment from the dorm. It had been two weeks since Willow had 
disappeared and Buffy was even angrier. Because of Willow leaving, 
Anya was ranting constantly about the broken engagement and 
threatening revenge on Xander, Tara wasn't talking to her, and Dawn 
was acting like a jerk about all of it.

Spike yelled at Buffy when he found out Willow was gone and Buffy 
wasn't tearing up the town searching for the redhead. That had led 
to a fight, which led to blows and that had ended up in sex again for 
the rest of the night.

"Buffy? It's Angel," a familiar voice said into her ear through the 
telephone.

"Terrific," she mumbled. What she did not need right now was Angel 
with everything screwed up with Spike and life. "Hey, Angel. What's 
up?"

Angel frowned, waiting as Cordelia and Wesley shifted impatiently on 
their feet inside his door.

"Well, I've got a magick question and Cordy has a computer question, 
we were wondering if Willow was around," Angel asked slowly.

"Well," Buffy hesitated, hating dragging the most recent Scooby Gang 
mess out in the open with anyone else. "Willow isn't here right now, 
Angel."

"Cordy, Buffy says Willow isn't there right now," Angel repeated on 
the other end. "Well, we can call back, do you know when she'll be 
in?"

"Not really," Buffy hedged. "Listen, Willow moved out two weeks ago 
and I haven't seen her. You'll have to try Tara for your questions."

"What do you mean moved out and you haven't seen her? Isn't she your 
best friend?" Angel demanded, his voice reflecting his disbelief.

"Things changed a little bit around here in the last couple of months 
and I don't want to go into it," Buffy snapped, watching Dawn's eyes 
widened at Buffy's irritation. "I don't know where Willow is. Tara 
might. Got a pencil?" Buffy rattled off Xander's number from 
memory. "Anything else?"

"Is Willow still in Sunnydale?" Angel asked. "You aren't worried? Did 
you guys have a fight or something?"

"I said I didn't want to go into it," Buffy snarled. "Willow's not in 
Sunnydale and we don't know where she is. Worried, a little bit but 
not going crazy over it."

"Thanks for Tara's number," Angel said calmly. "If Willow turns up 
here, do you care?"

"Not really," Buffy snapped and slammed the phone down. "Goddamn, 
self-righteous vampire!"

++++++++++

"Well?" Cordelia demanded as Angel hung up the phone. 

"She doesn't know where Willow is, hasn't seen her in two weeks and 
really doesn't care if she never sees Willow," Angel repeated.

"This is so unreal!" Cordy complained. "They were closer than close!"

"I know," Angel muttered. "Buffy gave me Tara's number. I'll try and 
get some answers there."

The vampire dialed the number he had been given and waited patiently 
as Wesley glanced at his watch.

"Hello, may I speak to Tara?" Angel asked. "Xander, is that you?"

Angel put the phone on speaker and hung up the receiver.

"Yeah, is that Deadboy?"

"Xander, please don't call me that," Angel growled. "Is Tara there? 
Buffy gave me this number to reach her. What's going on?"

"Has all of Sunnydale gone insane?" Cordelia muttered.

"Yeah, well, things are kinda messed up around here," Xander 
answered, unaware that he was answering Cordelia's question as 
well. "I broke up with Anya, Tara and I fought with Buffy and Dawn, 
and Tara's staying here."

Angel shook his head. "Okay, go slowly, I know Willow is missing and 
Buffy doesn't seem to care. What happened?"

"Well, hey, Tara just walked in," Xander's voice said. "Angel's on 
the line, asking for you. Here."

"Angel, have you heard from Willow?' Tara's voice demanded suddenly.

"Well, Buffy says that Willow's been gone for two weeks and no one 
there cares," Angel said slowly.

"That's not true," Tara protested and Angel could hear the tears in 
her voice. "That's why Xander broke up with Anya and I moved in with 
him instead of in with Buffy and Dawn. They don't care and got mad at 
us because we wanted to find Willow."

"What happened with Willow to piss Buffy and them off?"

"I don't think I should go into that without Willow around, Angel," 
Tara said reluctantly.

"Tara, do you care for Willow?" Angel asked, his voice soft.

"Yes, more than anything," she answered. "Xander too!"

"Then you both had better get here as fast as you can," Angel said 
slowly. "Cordelia had one of her visions and we found Willow in a run 
down hotel."

Tara heard the vampire hesitate.

"Tell us!" she demanded.

"She was barely alive, Tara," Angel answered. "Malnutrition, 
dehydration and severe anemia from too many bloody noses."

"Where is she and how is she?" Tara demanded.

"She's in Cedar Sinai, the ICU unit in a coma," Angel 
explained. "The doctors aren't sure if she did too much damage 
ignoring her body for quite awhile."

"Coma?" Tara repeated and they could hear Xander demanding answers in 
the background.

"They aren't sure she's going to make it, Tara," Angel said. "I don't 
think she wants to live, she's not fighting back. If you do care for 
her, get here."

"We'll be there, Angel," Tara said firmly, clicking off the line.

Cordelia had her arms crossed irritably.

"Why didn't they call us and tell us she was missing?" she 
demanded. "I had to have one of those damned visions and a migraine 
headache to find Willow!"

"I don't know," Angel said thoughtfully, leaning back in his 
chair. "Something happened that turned most of them against Willow 
and broke the gang up."

"Well, if you ask me, Willow couldn't have done anything that 
terrible!" Cordy snapped. 

"Maybe we'll find out when Tara and Xander get here," Angel commented.

"If the gang is fighting, maybe it's not a good idea to bring any of 
them here," Wesley suggested. "They might upset Willow and send her 
spirit further down."

"Possibly," Angel conceded. "But I think Tara really still cares for 
her. It was enough to break up Xander's engagement to Anya."

"Let's get back to the hospital, shall we?" Wesley suggested. "We 
only have a couple of hours before they run us off again."

"Any word on Willow's parents?" Cordy asked, reaching for her purse.

"No, they're still somewhere in the middle of one of the deserts in 
Israel and I don't speak Hebrew," Angel complained. "I've left word 
at the Embassy but that could take forever and they've never really 
shown much interest in Willow's hospital visits."

"Too true, Sunnydale parents, absentee at its best," Cordelia 
complained as she and Wesley headed out of the office, leaving Angel 
to brood.

+++++++++++++

Angel had no idea how Xander and Tara made it to Los Angeles so 
quickly and really didn't want to ask as they dashed out of the 
elevator onto the floor containing the ICU Ward.

The vampire stood up to meet them.

The three of them stopped in front of each other awkwardly. Angel 
had barely met Tara and had never really been Xander's friend. The 
young man had tolerated Angel being around because of Buffy and 
Willow.

"Where is she?" Xander demanded. "The desk said ICU and critical?"

"Yes," Angel said softly, watching Tara's face crumble and Xander 
place his arm around her shoulders. "Let's sit down for a minute and 
I'll explain."

"I want to see Willow," Tara demanded.

"Look, we all want some answers and Willow isn't going anywhere 
anytime soon," Angel looked relieved when Wesley and Cordy stepped 
into the waiting area. Xander hugged Cordy for a quick moment.

Xander and Tara looked at each other and nodded. Angel motioned for 
everyone to sit down.

"Okay, who starts?" Cordy asked. 

"How about from the beginning?" Angel suggested. "What drove Willow 
from Sunnydale?"

Xander and Tara looked at each other again, both with unhappy 
expressions. Tara nodded for Xander to begin.

"Things were different after Buffy came back," Xander said 
slowly. "Willow used some major magic stuff to get Buffy back and it 
scared all of us. Buffy was also different."

"I noticed," Angel muttered.

"We found out that she wasn't suffering in some hellish dimension but 
she was actually at peace," Xander explained.

"Oh God," Wesley muttered. "No wonder Giles was worried." He looked 
around at the questioning looks and began blushing. "Giles called me, 
he was worried that Buffy had lost the Slayer spark, her edge since 
her death. He didn't know what to do."

"Yeah, everyone was freaked and didn't know what to do," Xander 
continued. "Willow retreated into her magic, Anya and I were 
stressing over announcing our engagement, and Buffy wouldn't open up."

"And Spike was always around," Tara complained.

Angel jerked in surprise at the mention of his childe. "What's he got 
to do with this?"

"Seems that Buffy can't resist you dead guys," Xander snapped. "She 
turned to Spike instead of any of us."

"Spike and Buffy?" Cordy squealed and made a sour face. "Like yuck!"

"Total agreement, Queen C," Xander agreed.

"Keep going," Angel growled.

"Willow got too easy with the magic stuff and went out of control," 
Xander continued, glancing at Tara's unhappy face as they talked 
about her lover. "Things went wrong, everyone got pissed, Tara moved 
out and broke up with Willow."

"Wow, you two were like so cute in the pictures Willow sent us," 
Cordy muttered.

Tara nodded miserably.

"Something happened and Willow had some kind of melt down with the 
magic," Xander added.

"She ended up with a black sorcerer named Rack," Tara explained.

"I heard of him when I was Sunnydale," Angel nodded. "Bad news."

"Yeah, looks like the black magic stuff was like a drug and Willow 
went tripping," Xander growled. "Dawn almost got killed because of 
Willow and got her arm broken."

"She swore off magic after that but it was almost like it was too 
late," Tara said softly. "After she detoxed off the black magic, she 
disappeared."

Xander pulled out the note Willow had left behind and handed it to 
Angel who scanned it and handed it to Cordy and Wesley read over her 
shoulder.

"And Buffy didn't care enough to look for Willow?" Angel questioned.

"No, she was going to look for a couple of days out of a sense of 
Slayer duty but that was it," Xander nodded. "We argued about it. 
Dawn, Anya and Buffy wanted to cut Willow out. Tara and I didn't 
agree and we've been looking for her ever since."

"Okay, your turn," Tara demanded.

"Well, no one called to tell us Willow was missing!" Cordy complained 
loudly.

"We were hoping to find her first," Xander mumbled.

"Why not tell us?" Angel questioned.

"We knew Willow wouldn't want anyone else to know how badly she 
messed up," Xander explained.

"How did you find her? We lost her after two days on the bus," Tara 
asked.

"Cordy had one of her visions and we were able to track Willow down 
from the bus station to a run down wino hotel," Angel explained their 
end of the saga. "The manager was getting worried, he said she had 
checked in three days before and he hadn't seen her since. We went in 
and…" Angel hesitated, his eyes dropping.

"Willow was almost dead when we found her," Wesley continued. "She 
was unconscious, had been bleeding steadily from the nose and was far 
too thin and pale. We called 911, gathered her things and followed 
her to the hospital."

"She was transferred here after County discovered she wasn't a 
homeless type and had good insurance through her parents," Cordy 
supplied. 

"They moved her when she's critical?" Xander questioned.

"She's stable, in a coma like," Cordy explained.

Tara felt tears stinging her eyes. 

"Well, we found numerous used bus tickets in her backpack," Wesley 
began explaining. "Willow apparently got on a bus two weeks ago and 
didn't stop until she crashed four days ago at that run down hotel."

"What?" Xander muttered.

"She was traveling aimlessly throughout the Western States on the 
bus," Wesley clarified. "Willow apparently just changed busses at 
times and didn't stop for long in any one place."

Tara frowned. "I need to see her."

"Listen, whatever happened has destroyed Willow. If you're going to 
make her feel guilty, I suggest you wait until she wakes up and is 
stronger," Angel growled.

Tara's eyes flashed angrily and Xander stood up, obviously enraged.

"I left my fiancé to find my friend," he snapped. "I know that Tara 
and Willow love each other."

"I love Willow, Angel," Tara added. "I never stopped; I just 
couldn't help or trust her when I left. I was never far away."

"What do the doctor's say about Willow," Xander asked, bringing their 
focus back.

"Malnutrition from lack of food," Angel repeated. "Dehydration from 
throwing up and blood loss. Severe anemia from blood loss."

"How much damage, you said she might not make it," Xander demanded.

"Willow might not," Angel nodded as Tara began to cry silently 
again. "They think her major organs have been damaged from the 
malnutrition and all of that and she might not fight her way out of 
the coma."

"I need to talk to the doctors and see her," Tara said firmly. "Is 
she on a ventilator?"

"Yes, helping her breathe," Cordy nodded.

"Other machines?" Tara asked slowly.

"Just to monitor her stats," Cordy added.

"Okay, that helps," Tara muttered.

"What do you mean?" Angel asked.

"Willow and I have Power of Attorney and all the other legal 
paperwork a gay couple needs," Tara explained. "I know what her 
wishes are."

"What about her parents?" Wesley asked with a frown.

"Non-existent," Xander muttered.

"Alright, let's figure all of this out, I'll take Tara and Xander to 
the nurse's station so they can see Willow," Angel suggested.

+++++++++++++++++

Xander broke into tears and Tara went into something of an emotional 
and physical shock at the sight of Willow Rosenberg as she lay in the 
hospital.

They could barely tell it was their beloved Willow, her eyes were 
taped closed, a breathing tube was taped to her mouth and going down 
her throat. Her body looked much too small to be Willow under the 
plain sheet with tubes and monitor wires seemingly everywhere under 
the sheet and in the witch's arms.

"Willow? Oh sweet Goddess!" Tara whimpered, moving to sit down on a 
small rolling stool next to the bed. She gently placed her hand in 
Willow's. "Don't do this to us! Please come back to us!"

Angel tapped Xander on the shoulder and motioned the young man to 
follow him out of the cubicle.

"Willow, it's Tara," Tara said softly, tears streaming down her 
face. "I'm here and I love you! I will never leave you again! Please 
come back to me!"

++++++++++++++

Xander leaned against the wall, staring at the row of telephones. He 
glanced up as Cordelia walked up and joined him.

"Going to call Buffy?" she asked.

"Yeah, I figure it's only right to let them know where we are," he 
muttered.

"Xander, what happened? How did everything go so wrong?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "Buffy was different when she came 
back. I don't think any of us really recovered from her death and her 
return."

"You proposed to Anya?" she asked and he laughed softly.

"Yeah, planned marriage, future, and family," he said.

"And you left her because she didn't care what happened to Willow?"

"Yeah, I couldn't handle that," he admitted.

"You left someone who wants to have sex several times a day with you 
because of friendship?" Cordy asked.

"Yeah, I did," Xander nodded.

"My God Harris!" Cordy smirked. "You grew up!"

Xander blushed and glared at his former girlfriend.

"Better call and get it over with," Cordy suggested.

Xander picked up the receiver and dropped two coins into the nearest 
pay phone. He dialed the number from memory. 

"Buffy? It's Xander," he said, holding the receiver out so Cordelia 
could hear as well.

"Xander, where the hell are you? Your job has been calling and 
driving us crazy and Anya is still screaming every five minutes about 
you dumping her," Buffy's voice carried.

"Is it Sunnydale or is every female there self centered?" Cordy 
whispered.

"You including yourself in that?' Xander countered and Cordelia 
surprised him by nodding. "Buffy!" Xander snapped. "Tara and I are 
in LA."

"Why are you there? Did you find Willow? She show up on Angel's 
doorstep?" Buffy asked.

"No, not quite," Xander frowned. "Cordy had a vision and they found 
Willow almost dead."

"What do you mean almost dead?" Buffy demanded, as if not believing 
it.

"Just that, she's still in a coma. It looks like she didn't eat for a 
week and just traveled aimlessly on the bus," Xander explained.

"Coma? This is so not funny, Xander," Buffy growled.

"Try it on this end!" he suddenly shouted. "Willow is dying, Buffy! 
She may not come out of it. It's a miracle that her kidneys haven't 
shut down yet."

"Xander, I…I'm starting a new job tomorrow, I don't know if we can 
come to LA," Buffy said slowly.

"I really didn't think you would," Xander said calmly. "Don't worry 
about my job, I'll be fine here for awhile."

"You're not coming back?" It sounded like Buffy couldn't believe what 
she was hearing.

"No, not until Willow is better," Xander said firmly.

"Or she dies?" Buffy asked softly.

"If she dies, I'm not sure I'm coming back to Sunnydale," Xander 
said, making an instant decision for his future. "I have a job here 
for awhile, Tara and I will be okay until Willow is better."

"What? You dating Tara now?" Buffy asked sarcastically. 

"To hell with you, Buffy," Xander growled with no sense of humor in 
the words. "Should I call if anything changes with Willow or do any 
of you care?"

"Yes, I care, damnit!" Buffy shouted. "But she got herself in this 
mess and I can't leave right now. Anya either wants to kill you or 
have sex with you until you die and Dawn is still upset about Tara 
and you leaving."

"Tell Dawn we're sorry and we'll call or write or something," Xander 
said and hung up. He leaned his head against the wall. 

"Angel gave both of you jobs, didn't he?" Cordy asked.

"Yeah, I'm experienced at slaying like Gunn and Tara is pretty good 
at the magic and research stuff. Once Willow's on her feet, we'll 
decide what to do from there."

"If she doesn't get better?" Cordy asked softly.

"Not an option," Xander said firmly.

TBC