Now That's Entertainment . . . Issue # 7

[[ WARNING: The following piece contains material and/or language that may offend some readers.  Do I care?  No, not really.... but either way, Reader discretion is advised. ]]

"Weird Sex Laws"

I happened to come across this the other day in my local newspaper, "The Province" dated October 13, 1999.  I thought it was something somewhat interesting, be it something you'd only read in the Province (for those of you in Vancouver, I hope you got that joke)...I thought I'd share it with all of you.  I got a chuckle out of it, and I hope you do too:

Outdated sex laws are still on the books in many U.S. states and towns.  Here are some examples:

WASHINGTON STATE - You can't make love to a virgin anywhere, under any circumstances, even on her wedding night.  The law reads: "Every person who shall seduce and have intercourse with any female of previously chaste character shall be punished by imprisonment in the state penitentiary for not more than five years, or in the county jail for not more than a year, or a fine of $1000 or by fine and imprisonment."

OREGON - In Willowdale, it's illegal only for a husband to curse or swear during lovemaking.

UTAH - In Temonton, it is a sexual misdemeanor for any women to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance.  If convicted, the woman's name must be published in the newspaper.

WYOMING - In Newcastle, couples can't have sex while standing inside a store meat freezer.

SOUTH DAKOTA - Hookers are prohibited from selling their services out of a covered wagon.  In Sioux Falls, when a couple rents a room for only a night, the law says that the room must have twin beds.  It is illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.

NEBRASKA - In Hastings, every hotel is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed night shirt.  No one, even if married, may sleep in the nude.  No sexual activity may be undertaken unless each spouse is dressed in a night shirt.

TEXAS - Only a "registered pharmacist" can sell condoms or any other types of contraceptives.  If anyone other than a registered pharmicist engages in the sale of contraceptives, the person can be prsecuted for "unlawfully practicing medicine."

MINNESOTA - In Alexandria, no man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic or onions on his breath.  If his wife asks him to brush his teeth, he must stop to do so or stop lovemaking immediately.

ILLINOIS - In Oblong, it's against the law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

OHIO, INDIANA - Laws ban only male skating instructors from having sex with their female students.

PENNSYLVANIA - A law that pertains to only femail toll collectors bans them from engaging in sex with truck drivers in  the confines of a toll-collection booth.

MARYLAND - Only vending machines located "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold" can sell condoms.

TENNESSEE - In Skullbone, a law bans a woman from "pleasuring a man" while he is sitting behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

WISCONSIN - Lovers are banned from shooting off a gun while the female partner has an orgasm.

Hope all y'all enjoyed that....
==============================================================

© 1999 Michael Kwan.  Reproduction, exhibition or distribution of the preceeding piece without the expressed written consent of the author(s) can result in severe criminal and civil penalties under international agreements.  

Note: As always, if you wish to be removed from this mailing list, feel free to email me at flawless316@usa.net and let me know.  A reason behind why you'd like to unsubscribe would truly be appreciated.