Votes: 2 - Olive 2 - Leona 2 - BSAH 3 - Susanne Shum Now That's Entertainment . . . Issue # 4 "Laughter, the best medicine" The following few stories, identified only by a number, are meant to be comedic pieces. From memory, I have compiled these stories from back issues of Reader's Digest, and now I bring it to you. Some are better than others, but read them and find out for yourself. Of course, the following is brought to courtesy of 'Reader's Digest.' In no particular order, away we go..... (1) A man comes hom from work one day, and a ghostly voice tells him, "Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Vegas." Dismissing the idea, the man goes to bed. Coming home from work the next day, again he hears the same ghostly voice say, "Quit your job, sell your house, and go to Vegas." As before, he dismisses the idea and goes to bed. This goes on for a few months, and eventually the man finally caves in, and decides to do as the ominous voice bids. He gets off of the plane in Vegas, and that infamous ghostly voice tells him, "Go to Caesar's Palace, go to the roulette table." So he goes there, and when he arrives, the ghostly voice tells him, "Put all your money on 17." So, the man sweeps all of his money onto 17. The staff and surrounding onlookers wish him luck. The marble goes around and around.....and ends up on 21. The ghostly voice says, "Damn!" (2) A guy sits at a bar, staring at his drink for well over an hour. He just sits there, staring at this drink. Suddenly, some ruffian waltzes in, takes a seat beside the guy, grabs his drink and shoots the down. The guy breaks up and begins to cry uncontrollably. The ruffian then says, "Sorry man, I'm just messing with you. Here, I'll buy you another drink." The guy replies, "No, it's not that. This morning, my alarm clock didn't work, so I arrived to work late. They fired me. I walked out of the office, and found out my car had been stolen. I walk 5 miles to get home, and find my wife in bed with my long-time best friend. I grabbed my wallet and came here. And now, on top of all of that, you just drank my poison." (3) Some guy goes to his family doctor. The doctor asks, "What ails you?" The man replies, "Well, when I poke my forehead like this, it hurts. When I poke my cheek, it's sore. Even if I just tap my hips, I get a stinging sensation." Stumped, the doctor refers the man to a specialist. The guy returns to his doctor the next day, and the doctor asks, "So, what did the specialist say?" The man replies, "I had a broken finger." (4) Three tourists head up to the top of the tower where Big Ben is housed in London, England. The friends make a little bet, saying who could throw their watch off the top of the building, and run down the stairs in time to catch it. The first man tosses his watch down and makes it three steps before the watch shatters below. The second man tosses his watch over, but only makes it two steps. The third man throws his watch off the top of the tower, walks down the stairs, goes across the street and buys a corndog, eats it, and walks back over in time to catch his watch before it hits the ground. His two friends stand there, open-jawed. The third man says, "My watch is a half hour slow." (5) An elderly man sits in front of a retirement home in his rocking chair. He's rocking away, watching the clouds drift by and so on. Then, out of the door of the same retirement home comes out an elderly woman wearing her robe and a pair of slippers. She walks out in front of the man, opens up her robe to reveal her naked body and shouts out, "SUPERWOMAN!" With his teethless gums, the man says, "Uh, I'll have the soup." (6) An elderly man goes out to a secluded lake one day, and takes a seat on a rock. With his fishing gear, he has set out for a relaxing day with nature, fishing. He sits there and casts his line, hoping for a bite. Suddenly, a frog hops up beside him, and sits there right beside the elderly man. The frog then says, "I'm a beautiful princess. Kiss me and I'll be back to normal and be your wife." With saying a single word, the man packs up his gear and puts the frog in his breast pocket. He begins walking back to town, never uttering a word. The whole time, the frog/princess pesters him, "Kiss me and I'll be your wife. I'm a beautiful princess." The man remains silent. This goes on for a while, until the man just gets fed up and then he says, "Listen, I'm 80 years old. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog than a beautiful princess." Votes for which you like best would prove to be interesting. If enough responses come in within the next week or so, I'll make you all aware of the results...... ============================================================== © 1999 Michael Kwan. Reproduction, exhibition or distribution of the preceeding piece without the expressed written consent of the author(s) can result in severe criminal and civil penalties under international agreements. Note: As always, if you wish to be removed from this mailing list, feel free to email me at flawless316@usa.net and let me know. A reason behind why you'd like to unsubscribe would truly be appreciated.