Now That's Entertainment . . . Issue # 2 [[ WARNING: The following piece contains material that may offend some readers. Do I care? No, not really.... but either way, Reader discretion is advised. ]] "Walking that last mile" Like my colleague, Mr. Joseph Planta, I am currently enrolled in the grade 12 level at Tupper Secondary. After four surprisingly short years, we are in our graduating year of High School. When we first stepped through those ominous doors of the school, we were the smallest of fish in what seemed like the biggest fucking pond on the face of the Earth. Now, we've matured, and gotten "bigger", so to speak. (I'm talking about height and weight here, not, you know what) We are the big boys in town now. People, old wrinkly people, have always told me that high school will be the best time of your life, and the memories that you get there will stay with you always. Mind you, these are the same people that mumble some gibberish while they mess their pants after meals. If this is in fact, "the best time of my life", I'd hate to think how my life will be 5, 10, 50 years from now. This is the best time of my life?!?! Damn! What kind of life do you older people lead? Frankly, my life sucks. I'm unemployed, nose buried in the books every night, and knee deep in quizzes, tests, and provincial exams, and well, it sucks ass! Remember though, it's not only these old wrinkly people eating all their meals through a straw, not only these people we ship off to the home by the time they can't take themselves to the potty anymore; The mass media has taught us that high school is supposed to be a fun time filled with the trials and tribulations of growing up. Our adolescent years, and supposed to the "best years of our life." Bullshit! During these years, we've changed yes, but I doubt it's for the better. It was so much easier back in my early elementary years when girls had cooties (sic) and you would stay away from them. Now, hormones are flying left right and center, and no guy wandering the halls can think straight, myself included. It's September now, and my graduating year has just begun. Do I feel like a grad? Hell no. Do I feel like it's actually the last year of my "memorable" high school career? Hell no. Yeah, it's true I've barely starting this thousand mile journey that Confucius was rambling about, but it sure doesn't seem like I've reached my first pit stop yet. This could be the first step that Confucius babbled about, or it could not. In less than 10 short months, I'll be walking across that stage as they announce my name at the Chan Centre...."Division 12C....Michael Kwan" They'll say something like I won some book prize or some b.s. like that, say that I'm thinking about furthering my education at the such-and-such a university, or whatever, then I walk up there and grab my diploma, and take a seat. It took 13 long years to have the honor, nay, the right to do that. Will it be worth it? All these ardeous years of hard work, for a stupid piece of paper that says my name on it? It'd better be worth it. After we graduate, in June 2000, that is we're still around (Remember about Nostradamus and the Holy Bible et al saying that the Earth will plummet to the Fiery depths of hell that fateful night as the clock ticks down to midnight), the world will painfully have to accept us as...(dramatic pause)... adults. That's a scary though, ain't it? It feels like just yesterday that I was just "some kid" and now, I'm supposed to be an "adult"??? Next thing you know, I'll be living in some trailer park, eating pork and beans every night, watching reruns of Jerry Springer. Watch out world, cause the class of misfits we call the graduating class of Tupper 2000, be it a small group (lotsa failures here!), is heading out into the *gasp* working world... That's right! We're the future assistant managers of McDonald's (gotta set my goals high). Yippee, yahoo, whoopie, in ten long hard months, I'll leave this god forsaken place known as Tupper Secondary, and...move on to Jimbo's School of Trucking perhaps? Clown college? Barber College? Seriously though, in ten months, I'll leave the books and tests of Tupper behind, with all the immature brats we call teachers, and head off, hopefully, to the University of British Columbia, so I can....hit the bigger books, harder tests, and even more immature, snobby professors?!?! What a ripoff! And after that, when and if I ever get some office 9-5 job, I'll be in the working world. We spend all this time, all of our waking hours practically, behind some wooden desk, listening to a talking head blabber on about trigometric functions and the War of 1812, so that we can move on to spend all of our time, 24/7 working?!?! Woohoo! I can't wait for that! (Sarcasm intended). 10 months....10 more months..... ============================================================== © 1999 Michael Kwan. Reproduction, exhibition or distribution of the preceeding piece without the expressed written consent of the author(s) can result in severe criminal and civil penalties under international agreements. Note: As always, if you wish to be removed from this mailing list, feel free to email me at flawless316@usa.net and let me know. A reason behind why you'd like to unsubscribe would truly be appreciated.