Facing death is
not a familiar thing to me.
In the first
day of 2003, I got the news that one of my friends tragically left us few days
before this. My mind wasn’t shock at that moment, but blanked. I can’t imagine
how a person, who was once so active, so cheerful, shared so many things with
us, spoke, run ... can be disappeared in the world.
If one says no
man is an island, I would say no life is an island. I remember one teacher said
to us that, ‘I believe that life affects lives.’ Me too. No life is isolated
and each of our life is connected to others’ in a sense that we do have bonding
between us – parents and children, brothers and sisters, friends, teachers and
students, etc.
Matters between
people may not last long, but memories stay forever. May be we can say that
every person won’t last long, but the ‘life’ inside this person, the effect
this person’s life on others, will last.
My Great
Grandmother pasted in this holiday too. My Grandmother tell my mother that she
feels very regret for being angry about her mother for more then 20 years about
the fact that she was forced to marry.
I feel regret,
too, of not knowing enough of my friend after my friends memorial ceremony. In
that evening, I heard lots of bits and pieces of his life in the eyes of his
friends and relatives, but I experienced not much of these. I realized that I
missed a wonderful person, yet now he’s gone.
I remember that
years ago I also received a news that one of my primary schoolmate died. She was
a girl who was very bad to me in those days. But at the moment I got the news I
felt regret of not having the chance to be her friend, the chance to know her
more. May be I can see her nice side, may be we can be very good with each
other.
I remember the
hatreds, jealousies, and other upsetting things happened in my previous years. At
the moment of leaving the ceremony, I thought, ‘were they really matter?’
Suddenly everyone I know, every single person around me become an unreplaceable
element in my life. Every single sigh, every single drop of tear becomes a sign
of discomfort that should not be ignored. Every blue face should be cheered.
Every heart should be warmed.
With high
technology everything are now more and more easy to be replaced or re-do. There
are spares for nearly everything. Even if we lost our leg, we can do another
pair. (It may look nicer then what we had and still function quite well if we
can pay the price.) Obligation is no longer a treasureable thing, but a burden
which people are so easily been tempted to get rid of. The misunderstanding of liberty
and the over-expended wrong concept of freedom lead people to do whatever they
want without considering others’ being.
And this
reminds me that God Himself does limit Himself. Though He’s the Mightiest One,
He decided not to interrupt the freedom of choice that He gave to His people.
When His people choose to turn away from Him, He choose to love his people with
all He can give – including Jesus and His life.
Live, love and
freedom are the most things people searching for with their utmost. It’s so interesting
that the more I think, the more it tends to be that what people usually
searching are related to God’s character – daily needs is from God; sense of
security, peace, is from God; freedom is from God; hope is from God; love is
from God; life is from God.
I wish I can be
more and more like Jesus and to live a life that I won’t regret.