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Christmas Wish (25/12/2001)

No war in Afghanistan.

        Economic recovering.

        Greener earth.

       

 

        I didn’t make a Christmas wish ever, neither a wish especially made on (for?) birthday.  Well, sometime, may be a new year wish probably, in order to give myself seemingly a new chance to start on – because for me to make all the three wishes are quite bothering: my birthday is in November; Christmas is in December; New Year is of course in January.  Don’t forget there’re still more to come – Chinese New Year usually in February, Easter in March…

       

I let myself to have a holiday of about a week.  The definition of a holiday for me is not to practice.  In this holiday I went to places where I usually don’t have the chance to go.

 

        I went to the Peak for a performance.  That was a windy foggy day on the Peak and we have to play some silly stuff with our sticky frozen hands. I could see my bow, as well as others’, swell, due to the high humidity, to the point that the wood part of the bow touches the strings.  A group of something like VIP was sitting in the first role, shaking in the cold wind with the whole orchestra, hanging some hardly maintained smiles on their faces, celebrating the whatever times anniversary of the district’s festival, which aims at promoting and rising the district’s cultural atmosphere.

        To win the coming election.

 

        I went to a ball which full of doctors, high ranking government officials and ‘upper class’ people.  We have to play some dance music for these people.  People came out and dance after their meal, or chatting, or anything, and gave some applause after each song.  Very fake.  This was not the first time I join this kind of performance, but this was surly the one I feel worse.  “Why should I play here? What should I play for? To whom am I playing for?”  Haha.

        Horse races always, dances always.

 

        I went to a primary school’s Christmas service.  I haven’t seen such a big gang of kids for a long time.  They very much reminded me the Christmas I had when I was small.  I’ve played some pieces for them and they all seemed excited.  Their teachers were Christians.  They made use of this opportunity to bring the Good News to the kids and it could be clearly seen that the kids are so pure hearted.

        Christmas presents from parents.

More children believe in God.

 

        I went to a carol singing in a jail.  That is a women’s jail.  There’re there because they’re illegal immigrants, drug dealers, etc.  Any kinds of communicational devices, food and drinks, money, etc, are not allowed to be brought into the guarding areas.  People there are totally isolated from the outside world – well, that’s the true meaning of staying behind bars.  I thought there would be a very scary place with scary people.  While we entered and settled, we hear the girls chatting, laughing, shouting out of the window – ‘Merry Christmas!’ to us.  They sometimes do have their own time there.  While we were singing, some of them even leaning on the window to listen.  I’m sure our songs, as well as our prayers, are not wasted, but rather, are some little blessing in this dessert.

        Freedom.

 

        I went back to my home, reading my music, and listening to Arthur Grumiaux’s recording.  Suddenly I remember this is the 365th day after my homepage’s birthday.

       

 

        I have never been having so many pieces in hand.  I’m quite discouraged as I really feel helpless – my techniques can’t allow me to finish all the pieces before the deadlines that are so closely coming.  I took up my violin, tried to put it on my shoulder.  No.  I put it down, hung it, and ready to cry.  I put it on my desk, kneeled down and pray.  I want peace.

 

 

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