This is all in fun. My woman didn't really run off with the UPS guy. How could she when she's married to a prize like me.
Everything on this is my doing, except the broken dishes.
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My woman ran off with the UPS guy and left me with all these dishes
Well it all started out on Saint Patrick�s Day at our annual Saint Paddy�s Day Bash
Early next morning I woke up in a haze. The trailer smelt like cabbage and beer
My woman ran off with the UPS guy and left me with all these dishes
Just look at this mess��� I don�t even know where to start��� Duke, come here Duke �yeh, you start rinsing the ones on the floor�..is this the only apron we got? Ain�t we got no manly aprons? (CRASH) whoops�.where does she keep the dang vacuum cleaner, Duke? Oh, somebody dint finish there Guinness�.can�t let that go to waste�. Now I wish I�d bought her that dishwasher instead of that shotgun�No! don�t eat that, Duke!
I got kind of misty as they roared out of sight, so I took another sip of my beer
Cause my woman ran off with the UPS guy and left me with all these dishes
�2006 David Elon Preston
Now I got mess piled four feet high while he�s getting all of her kisses
Our friends brought their neighbors and our neighbors brought their friends
And Aunt Margie brought the Heavenly Hash
I should have knowed something was bad when I saw my woman prancing around
�Cause everybody else was wearing shamrock green but she was decked in UPS brown
I distinctly heard the rumble of the UPS truck, the clatter of it�s grinding gears
I stumbled out of bed and rolled up the shade, and saw through my bloodshot eyes
My woman all packed and ready to roll, in the arms of the UPS guy
Now I got mess piled four feet high while he�s getting all of her kisses
I took a deep breath and grabbed a brillo pad, used the apron to dry up my tear
I told myself there�s a lesson in this, as I hunkered down to clean up the mess
Next time I got a package to mail, you bet I�ll go with Federal Express
Now I got mess piled four feet high while he�s getting all of her kisses
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