The phone rang at ten the next morning. Kathleen was gone; otherwise it would have woken her up. As it was, no one really wanted to answer it. It was probably about bills.
The TV was on; they were watching Jem and the Holograms. It was the only show that was coming in clear. Ordinarily Isaac wouldn�t have been able to sit through this; today he didn�t want to move. He sat on the couch with his knees pulled up, staring blankly at the TV screen. When the phone began to ring, he and Taylor exchanged a glance and sighed.
�I�ll get it,� Taylor volunteered.
�Could you?� Isaac asked.
Taylor nodded. �Yep.�
�If it�s about paying bills or if they�re trying to sell us something, hang up,� Isaac instructed. �Pretend you don�t speak English.�
�Okay.� Taylor picked up the phone. �Hello?� He was quiet for a moment; then his eyes sparkled. �Hi! How are you doing?�
�Who is it?� Isaac asked. It wouldn�t have been unlike his little brother to strike up a lively conversation with some solicitor on the phone.
Taylor grinned. �It�s Nora,� he said. �Yeah, it was fun. Christmas was fun. School is good.� He turned back to Isaac. �Ike, when are we going back to school?�
�The fourth.� Isaac sighed. He wasn�t looking forward to school.
�The fourth,� Taylor repeated. He smiled. �Oh, really? Could we? Yeah. . .yeah. They�re good. Uh huh. You want to talk to them?� He nodded. �Okay. Okay, sure. I will.� He giggled. �It was nice talking to you, too. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Bye!� He turned to face his brothers. �Which of you wants to talk first?�
�You can, Zac,� Isaac offered. �But if you�re going to be on the phone, you have to talk, okay?�
�Okay.� Zac didn�t sound very sure of himself. And when Taylor handed him the phone, Zac was even less sure. He couldn�t think of a single thing to say.
�Talk!� Taylor urged. �Say something!�
�Say hi!� Isaac suggested. �Say. . . say anything!�
�Um,� Zac managed. �Um. . . hi.� He didn�t know why he was never able to talk on the phone. Nora was talking to him. She was even asking questions. But all Zac could do was nod mutely.
�Zac, talk!� Isaac wailed, exasperated.
�You�re going to hurt Nora�s feelings!� Taylor burst out.
Zac�s lower lip quivered. �I am talking!�
�You are talking,� Nora�s voice was bemused, gentle. �You are talking, sweetie.�
Zac handed the phone to Isaac, the expression in his eyes triumphant. �I am TOO talking,� he insisted. �Nora says I�m talking.� He stuck his tongue out when he thought Isaac wasn�t looking.
Isaac was looking. �Oh, real scary, Zac.� He rolled his eyes. �Hi. . .� he said into the phone.
�Hi, honey!� Nora exclaimed. �How are you?�
�Fine,� Isaac lied. �How are you?�
Nora grinned. �Good. What are you guys doing?�
�Watching TV,� Isaac told her. �My mother went out. . . to run some errands. . . so we�re just kinda sitting here.�
�Did she go to the grocery store?� Taylor thought his older brother knew something he didn�t. �Where�d she go?�
�Yeah, she went to go get groceries,� Isaac elaborated, so that Nora could hear him. I shouldn�t tell so many lies, he thought.
�How has your vacation been so far?� Nora asked.
�It was okay, you know, better than school.� Isaac shrugged. Not that much better. Then again, it wasn�t like anything could be worse than school. Except being home alone with his mother all day.
�And you go back the fourth?� Nora continued.
�Yeah.� Isaac nodded.
�Well, we were wondering,� Nora said, �maybe you guys would like to come up for a day. . . or maybe you could even spend the night, if it was okay with your mother. It might be nice for her to get a break, and we�d love to see you. Would you want to do that?�
Isaac swallowed. �Uh huh.�
�Do you think I should call later on and ask her?� Nora asked.
Isaac cupped his hand over the receiver and turned to Taylor and Zac. �She wants us to come over, but she wants to call mom later and ask her.�
�Maybe she�ll say yes,� Taylor piped.
�Maybe,� Isaac agreed. He took his hand off the receiver. �Okay, sure, thanks.�
�It�s no problem, honey,� Nora smiled. �Do you have anything else going on this week though? Would we be causing any problems?�
�Oh, no.� Isaac shook his head. �No, no problems. What day were you thinking of?�
�Any day, really,� Nora said. �Whatever day is good for you.�
�My mom should be home later on.� Isaac bit his lip, hoping it would be true.
�Okay. I�ll call during the afternoon at some point,� Nora promised.
Isaac nodded. �That would be good.�
Miraculously, Kathleen was home, and sober, when Nora called that afternoon. And if Nora found it odd that Kathleen sounded positively thrilled at the thought of having her sons taken off her hands for a day or so, she tried not to dwell on it. This must be her first break in. . . how long? Nora asked herself. God knows she must be happy about it.
Maybe we should do this more often, Nora mused. She and Dan hadn�t wanted to before, for fear of offending Kathleen and also because they knew, very keenly, that they had become too attached to the boys, and the boys to them, and so it was probably better to keep from encouraging a relationship that wasn�t have supposed to have happened, that was, any psychologist would have told them, entirely wrong.
It didn�t feel wrong, Nora thought, defiantly. It didn�t feel wrong at all. That didn�t mean anything, she knew. Still, under the circumstances, she could never have acted differently, and she knew Dan couldn�t have either. There had to have been some reason that everything had happened, and Nora sometimes got the feeling that she didn�t really know what yet.
Sometimes, Taylor would lie in bed at night and wish something would happen to his mother. He really didn�t know what. . . sometimes he wished she�d never been born, and yet and his brothers somehow had been. Other times he wished she�d abandoned him at birth. Other times he wished she�d die a quick, painless death. . . Taylor hadn�t gotten as far as deciding exactly what kind of death. Sometimes, Taylor just wished she�d go away and never come back, or, when he wished something nice would happen to her, that she�d marry some rich guy who couldn�t stand kids. Although Taylor�s fantasies ran the gamut from macabre to enchanted, they all ended the same way. Kathleen would be out of the picture, and Isaac, Taylor and Zac could go live with Dan and Nora.
Tonight was no different. In fact, tonight Taylor�s stomach was alive with butterflies of excitement; he couldn�t wait to go see Dan and Nora. It was actually happening, and it was a good feeling.
At the back of Taylor�s mind, however, there was one big question, and he knew he couldn�t keep it to himself. �Ike,� he whispered, sensing that his brother was awake next to him, �do you think we should tell them?�
�Tell them?� Isaac mumbled. He felt hot and cold at the same time; every noise he heard seemed amplified a thousand times over. The sound of his third grade class reciting the multiplication table echoed through his head; he couldn�t make out the words, exactly, but he could hear the steady rise and fall of the voices. Isaac had always hated listening to people recite the multiplication table. Now he knew why.
�About what Mommy does,� Taylor said. �About what Roy did to you.�
Isaac stiffened. �No,� he answered, immediately.
�But maybe we wouldn�t have to live with Mommy anymore. . .� Taylor began.
�Yeah but they�d split us up.� There was unquestionable certainty in Isaac�s voice. �Do you want that to happen?�
�Maybe we could live with-� Taylor began.
�Dan and Nora don�t want three kids,� Isaac interupted. �They have enough responsibilities by themselves. And kids are a pain. You have to get them food, and clothes, and make sure they go to bed and brush their teeth and don�t fight with people and go to school and don�t watch too much TV and take baths and they get sick and they cry and they grow up and become drug dealers. . .� he stopped to take a breath.
�Mommy doesn�t do any of that,� Taylor pointed out.
�She can�t even take care of herself,� Isaac told him. �But most people feel responsible for their kids.�
�Do you feel �sponsible for Zac and me?� Taylor asked.
Isaac nodded. �Uh huh.�
�But we�re not your kids,� Taylor observed.
Isaac shook his head. �No. . .but you aren�t Dan and Nora�s kids, either. They aren�t even related to us.�
�We could get jobs,� Taylor suggested. �We could get jobs and we could pay for ourselves. We could just live with them.�
�Taylor,� Isaac pointed out. �You are six years old. Where do you think you�re going to get a job?�
Taylor stuck his lower lip out. �Six and a HALF.�
�Well, you can�t get a job. And neither can I. And neither can Zac.�
Taylor sighed. �Ike, I don�t want to live with Mommy anymore.�
�Nobody does, Tay. But we don�t have a choice. We�re her kids. It�s like she owns us.�
�We don�t have a choice,� Taylor repeated sadly.
�Nope.� Isaac swallowed hard. �We don�t.�