Chapter Forty-One

Endoscopy was, as Dan had suspected, no fun. “Open your mouth,” Jim Farrigan instructed Isaac, who blinked sleepily, obeying. They’d given him a sedative a few minutes earlier; it was kicking in fast. “I’m going to spray this anesthetic into the back of your mouth, just like we talked about, okay?”

Isaac nodded. A numb feeling spread across his throat; it didn’t hurt, but he didn’t like it much, either. He wanted to lie down and go to sleep, but he knew he had to keep sitting up. “Okay,” Jim said. “I’m going to put the camera in now.”

Isaac winced.

“You know it won’t hurt,” Jim assured him.

Isaac nodded.

“The anesthesia was just to get rid of your gag reflux. . . the thing that would make you throw up,” Jim’s voice was tentative. “Ike, don’t make me feel guilty!”

Isaac sighed, smiling sheepishly.

“I have to do this!” Jim exclaimed. “It’s for your own good!”

Isaac nodded again. He wasn’t arguing. What was Dr. Farrigan making such a big deal about?

“Quit looking at me like I’m about to chop your head off!” Jim wailed.

Isaac buried his face in his hands.

“Now, if you do that, I won’t be able to reach your mouth,” Jim pointed out.

Slowly, Isaac put his hands down and opened his mouth.

“You ready now?” Jim asked.

Isaac nodded.

“Okay,” Jim said. “I’m ready, too.”

Once the camera was inserted, Isaac could lie down. He faded in and out of half-consciousness, occasionally picking up bits and pieces of what Dr. Farrigan was saying. He didn’t really care that much.

When Isaac woke up, it was midafternoon. He felt better than he had under the anesthesia, but his throat hurt a little bit. Again, he looked around and realized he was by himself; he was beginning to suspect why the hospital had not assigned him a roommate. Some kid with a broken leg or who had to get a tonsillectomy would probably not want to room with a kid whose mother had stabbed him. Isaac hoped that Taylor and Zac wouldn’t think of him any differently because of what had happened. He remembered, not for the first time, that he really, really missed them.

They couldn’t come, though, not yet. One or the other of them had been sick the entire time he was in the hospital, and even, Nora had explained apologetically, if all either one of them had was a cold, they still couldn’t come. Isaac wasn’t supposed to get sick. . . sicker than he already was, anyway.

Still, he wished they could visit, even just for a little while. He’d talked to them both on the phone, but it wasn’t really the same. Taylor’s class had just studied a unit about phone manners in school, and the first grader believed that the only proper way to use the telephone was to follow. . . to the letter. . . the exact dialogue that had been printed in his reading book. Isaac had tried calling him the other day. It hadn’t really worked out.

“Hello,” Taylor said, picking up the phone. “Taylor speaking.”

“Hey!” Isaac had exclaimed. “How are you?”

“How may I help you this afternoon?” Taylor had asked. “Do you have the wrong number?”

“I. . . I don’t think so,” Isaac began. “Tay, it’s me.”

“Very nice to talk to you!” Taylor had exclaimed, then his voice had darkened. “Ike,” he said, “you have really bad manners on the phone.”

“I do?” Isaac had asked, worried.

“Yeah!” Taylor nodded. “Very, very bad. You were supposed to say ‘hello, this is Isaac.’” He took a deep breath. “Try again.”

Isaac sighed. “Do I have to?”

“Don’t you want to talk to me?”

“Fine,” Isaac said. “This is Ike.”

“You didn’t say hello!” Taylor shrieked.

“Hello,” Isaac had amended.

“This is Isaac,” Taylor prompted.

“This is Isaac,” Isaac repeated.

“How may I help you?” Taylor asked.

“I don’t know,” Isaac sighed. “I just wanted to say hi to you.”

“Hi,” Taylor said.

“Hi,” Isaac told him.

“Hi,” Taylor said again.

“Hi,” Isaac repeated.

“Hi,” said Taylor.

“Tay. . .” Isaac began.

Taylor remembered himself. “To whom do you wish to speak?”

“Why are you talking like that?” Isaac was confused.

“It’s called phone manners,” Taylor informed him.

“Oh.” Isaac twined the phone cord around his finger. “Is. . . Is Zac there?”

“Zachary,” Taylor corrected. “Is Zachary there?”

“He’s not here,” Isaac pointed out, confused.

“No, you say it,” Taylor corrected him.

“Is Zac there?” Isaac asked again.

“Zachary!” Taylor shrieked. “Say Zachary.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Is. Zachary. There?”

“Yes,” said Taylor.

“Can I talk to him?” Isaac asked.

“No,” Taylor informed him.

“Why?” Isaac asked, frustrated.

“Because I said so,” Taylor told him.

“Why’d you tell him he couldn’t?” Isaac inquired.

“’Cause he’s not here,” Taylor responded.

“But you said he was!” Isaac exclaimed.

“He’s in the other room,” Taylor clarified.

“Oh.” Isaac sighed. “You can’t call him or something?”

Taylor sniffled. “You don’t want to talk to me?”

“You’re using those stupid phone manners!” Isaac informed him.

“I’m just being polite,” Taylor wiped his eyes. “You don’t have to yell at me.”

“I wasn’t yelling at you!” Isaac smacked himself in the head with the palm of his hand.

“You are now!” Taylor screeched.

“I’m sorry!” Isaac wailed.

“Quit yelling!”

“I’m not yelling!” Isaac yelled, in desperation.

“Why are you so mean now?” Taylor demanded.

Isaac felt his breath catch in his throat. Now? Why was he so mean now? He swallowed. Taylor was right. Maybe he was different now. Maybe everyone could tell just by looking at him and talking to him what had happened.

Everybody can tell, Isaac thought, what I made my mother do. Everyone will know there’s something wrong with me.

No normal person would be stabbed by his mother. Isaac was sure of it. And even Taylor could tell that he wasn’t the same person he’d been before. “Now, Tay?” he whispered.

“I miss you!” Taylor burst out crying. “Come home, Ike, I miss you! I won’t call you mean again.”

“I’ll come home pretty soon,” Isaac said, sounding more confident as he felt. “As soon as they let me out.”

“And I can’t come see you, because I have a cold!” Taylor continued. “And they won’t let kidses under 12 come, but Dan and Nora said they’d sneak us in anyway, but not if we might make you sick.”

“I miss you guys, too,” Isaac told him. “I wish you could come.”

“Do you feel really bad?” Taylor asked.

Isaac shook his head. “No, I’m okay.” He did feel bad, though, and not entirely physically. “I’m really fine.”

Taylor hiccoughed. “Okay, Ike.” He sighed. “I miss you.”

“Me, too,” Isaac agreed.

“Zac’s going to talk now,” Taylor intoned, suddenly cheerful. “Here he is now.”

“Hi, Zac,” Isaac said, when he heard the heavy breathing on the other end that signified that Zac was holding the phone.

Zac, too intimidated by the phone even to talk, didn’t say anything.

“Say hi, Zac!” Taylor yelled, in the background.

“Hi, Zac,” Zac whispered, sounding terrified.

“No!” Taylor shook his head. “Say ‘hi, Ike!’”

Zac felt tears come to his eyes. He didn’t believe the person on the other end of the line was his brother, even if he sounded like Ike.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Isaac said.

Zac started crying. Talking to Isaac was too much. He dropped the phone and ran to find Dan.

“Come back!” Taylor yelled, and for a moment Isaac didn’t know if either of them would remember he was still on the other end of the phone.

Finally, somebody did remember. Dan.

“You still there, Ike?” he asked.

Isaac sighed. “Yeah,” he smiled.

“Sorry about that,” Dan apologized. “They both really miss you, Ike.”

“I. . .” Isaac swallowed. “I miss them.”

“I know you do.” Dan was quiet for a moment. “They’re just so weird about the phone. . .”

“I know,” Isaac agreed, quietly. “They’re always like that.” He was scared that he might cry.

“We will sneak them in, as soon as neither one of them has a cold, an ear infection. . .” Dan shook his head, grinning in spite of himself. “I bet you’ll be out soon, buddy.”

“I can’t stand this much longer.” It was the closest Isaac had come to complaining. “I mean, it’s just hard to be here, and they’re at your house, and. . . I don’t know.”

By the time he’d gotten off the phone with Dan, a feeling of defeat had washed over Isaac. He felt guilty for being in the hospital, guilty that he couldn’t see Taylor and Zac, worried that when he did see him, they wouldn’t like him anymore. Worried that they hated him now.

I’ll get out soon, he’d promised himself. I have to.

Now, though, waking up after the endoscopy, Isaac wasn’t so sure. He sat in bed, absently biting his lip, wondering if Nora might come. Usually she did, but of things got really busy downstairs, it could take her awhile.

A nurse came into the room. Jennifer. She was one of the nice ones; she didn’t stick you too hard when she gave shots. She looked at you as if you were a real person, too, and she talked. Sometimes about her boyfriend, Gianni.

Today, Jennifer was wearing a pink nurse’s uniform printed with red hearts; her hair was pulled back and fastened with curly ribbons. “Happy Valentine’s day!” She exclaimed.

Isaac blinked up at her. “Valentine’s day?”

“Yep, Valentine’s day.” Jennifer fastened a blood pressure cuff around his arm and raised her eyebrows at him. “You didn’t know?”

“I forgot,” Isaac explained.

“Come on.” solicitiously, Jennifer narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t have anyone you want to send valentines too?”

Isaac shook his head. “Not really.”

Smiling slyly, Jennifer slid a thermometer into his mouth. “No girlfriend?”

Isaac blushed.

“What?” Jennifer asked.

“No,” he squeaked, around the thermometer.

“Really?” Jennifer didn’t sound as if she believed him. “You don’t have a crush on anyone?”

Isaac blushed even more. “No.”

“No?” Jennifer sounded very surprised. “Really?”

Isaac nodded, unconvincingly.

“Come on,” Jennifer urged, taking the thermometer out of his mouth, squinting at it, and recording the numbers on his chart. For a moment, she reverted to businesslike attention to duty. “It’s one hundred. Does your stomach hurt?”

He shook his head. Not more than usual. There was a fluttery feeling in his chest though, the same feeling he always got when he thought about. . .

“The endoscopy could have caused bleeding, so I’m just checking.” Jennifer wrote something else on the chart. “Come on, Ike, who?”

Isaac took a deep breath. “I’m not going to tell you.”

“What’s she look like?” Jennifer asked, casually.

“She’s real pretty,” Isaac supplied, then bit his lip. Oh, no. . .

“There is someone!” Jennifer crowed. “Who?”

Isaac winced. “No.”

“Who?” Jennifer pressed. “You already told me what she looks like.”

“No,” Isaac said again.

Jennifer sighed. “I told you all about Gianni.”

“Erin,” Isaac whispered. “Erin N.”

“Erin N.?” Jennifer supressed a giggle.

“Not Erin P.” Isaac was quick to inform her. “Because Erin P. won’t talk to me. And Maria wanted to go out with me, but I couldn’t, ‘cause I already had a crush on Erin N.”

“Poor Maria.” Jennifer shook her head. “Is she a nice girl?”

“Yeah, but she wants to kiss everybody.” Isaac rolled his eyes. “It’s kind of annoying.”

“So, what’s Erin N. like?” Jennifer handed Isaac a paper cup with two white tablets in it.”

His eyes were bright. “She’s really nice. And she’s really smart. She gets good grades. And she let me borrow her pencil once.”

“She sounds like a really nice girl,” Jennifer observed.

Isaac nodded, taking a drink of the water Jennifer handed to him. “She’s really nice. You’d like her.”

“I bet I would,” Jennifer agreed.

“Everybody does,” Isaac told her.

“Oh!” Jennifer exclaimed, reaching into her pocket, “I have a valentine for you!”

Isaac grinned. “You do?”

“Yeah,” Jennifer nodded. “I hope you like it.” She gave him a small white envelope with prismatic heart stickers affixed to the front and a lollipop taped to the back.

“Thanks.” Isaac opened the envelope and pulled out the card. “My Little Ponies?” he asked.

Jennifer shrugged. “I’m sorry. I ran out to buy Valentines at the last minute, and those were the only ones left.”

“No, I like it.” Isaac set the card next to his bed, smiling up at Jennifer. “I wish I had one for you.”

Jennifer grinned. “That’s okay. Call me if you need anything, all right?”

Isaac nodded. “Okay.” He thought for a moment. “Can you come here a second?”

“Sure,” Jennifer agreed, making her way back across the room.

“And can I see your marker?” Isaac asked.

“Of course,” said Jennifer, handing it to him.

“And can I see your hand?” Isaac asked, uncapping the Sharpie.

“Yep.” Jennifer held it out to him, grinning. She already had an inkling of what he was about to do.

“Hapy Valintine’s Day,” Isaac wrote, on the back of Jennifer’s hand. “Love, Isaac.” He drew a picture of a heart and added initials. “G + J. Gianni and Jennifer.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Ike,” Jennifer beamed. “I’m going to have to wash my hands each time I see a new patient, but I think it will take a long time to wear off.”

She took Isaac’s hand in her own. “Isaac + Erin N.” she wrote. “= Love!”

“Hey!” Isaac blushed, but he didn’t try to wipe it off.

Nora dashed in a few seconds after Jennifer left, wearing her winter coat over scrubs. Her purse was slung over one shoulder, and she clutched a large manila envelope in one hand.

“Oh, Ike, you’re up!” she groaned. “I was hoping I’d make it back in time to be here for you. . .”

“It’s all right,” Isaac assured her. “I got a valentine.” He held it up, smiling.

“It’s really cute. That was so nice of Jennifer.” Nora smiled at him. “What’s on your arm?”

“Nothing.” Isaac shook his head. “It’s private.”

“Oh.” Nora nodded. “Honey, I stopped by your school. . .”

Isaac winced. “Uh-oh.”

“It’s all right,” Nora told him. “I have something for you.” She handed him the envelope, which was lumpy with papers of various sizes, stuffed to overflowing.

Tentatively, Isaac reached into it. “Get well soon!” read the construction paper heart he pulled out. “Happy Valentine’s Day! Love, Katrina.”

“Valentines?” Isaac asked Nora.

She grinned. “Taylor got everybody in his class to make them for you, and everybody in your class did, too. In fact, I think most of the school has something in there.”

“Whoa. . .” Isaac’s eyes were shining. “Wow. . .”

A lot of the cards were the simple valentines everyone gave to everyone else, small squares of cardboard emblazoned with cartoon characters and sports heroes, but Isaac’s entire class had also written him letters. He knew they’d just copied a few sentences the teacher had written on the board, but he read each carefully anyway. “Dear Isaac,” most of them said. “I’m sorry you’re in the hospital. Get better soon. We’re studying ancient Egypt. Your friend. . .” and then they’d put their name. A lot of people drew pictures.

“Dear Isaac,” wrote Charlie Wright. “Get out of the hospital or I will come and beat you up. We’re studying stupid pyramid stuff. You’re lucky you don’t have to go to school. Come back soon. From, Charles.”

“Charles?” Isaac wondered, then went on to the next letter.

“Dear Ike, It’s awful you’re in the hospital,” Maria had written. “I’m so sad. I miss you. I want to go out with you. Will you go out with me? Circle yes or no.” (‘Yes,’ was written in huge, loopy letters, ‘no,’ in cramped, tiny ones.) “Do you want to be my boyfriend? Circle yes or no. Chris says he wants to be my boyfriend, but he can’t because I’m waiting for you. Love,” (and Maria wrote ‘love’ in the biggest letters of all) “Maria Theresa Giacometti.”

Isaac swallowed hard. “Uh-oh.”

His favorite letter, however, was the one from Erin N. “This is you in the hospital,” she wrote, underneath a picture of a sad-faced boy in a hospital bed, wearing a full-body cast. “And this is me,” she’d written, drawing a pigtailed girl crying as she huddled under an umbrella in a rainstorm. “And I miss seeing you in school. So come back soon! And get well. Love, Erin N.”

“Love,” Isaac thought, the fluttery feeling building in his chest. “Wow!”

All in all, it had already been a pretty good day, but it kept getting better. Because an hour and a half later, something really great happened.

Isaac was still looking through the letters. He’d hardly made a dent in the pile yet. He was concentrating so hard that he didn’t even hear the door open, and he didn’t see Nora grin up at the figure in the doorway.

The one thing he definitely heard, though, was Zac’s overjoyed cry of “Ike!” His little brother dashed across the room and threw himself onto the bed.

“Zac!” Isaac didn’t think he could untangle Zac’s arms from around his neck, and for a moment he was content not to try. “How. . .”

“Finally, none of us are sick!” Taylor rolled his eyes. “Well, except you,” he added uncertainly.

“No, I’m okay,” Isaac told him, his eyes still wide with disbelief.

“I promised you we’d sneak them in.” Dan stood with his arm around Nora, grinning amicably. “And I did!”

“We can’t stay that long though,” Taylor told Isaac.

“Only two, five, three minutes,” Zac agreed. He was sitting on the bed next to Isaac, anxious to show his brother the valentine he’d made. Nothing could match Zac’s relief at finding Isaac. He’d never been as happy in his life.

Taylor, however, hung back, leaning against Nora. He didn’t know what to say to Isaac, now that he’d finally gotten to see him. He didn’t know what he’d expected either, but he was worried that Isaac was in bed, that he had an IV in his arm. He’s really sick, Taylor thought. He wasn’t used to Isaac being sick. He didn’t know what to say.

“It’s an airplane?” Isaac asked Zac.

“Yeah, I drawed it for you.” Zac grinned. “I missed you and missed you and missed you, and now I finded you!”

“Sorry, Zac,” Isaac apologized.

“Why?” Zac asked.

Isaac shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Zac suggested. “I finded you now!” He took a deep breath. “So now you’re okay.”

“Now I’m okay,” Isaac agreed.

“Ike. . .” Taylor began, but his eyes filled with tears and he dashed out of the room.

“Tay. . .” Nora dashed out after him.

“He missed you,” Dan told Isaac. “It’s kind of a lot for him to handle right now.”

“He really did,” Zac agreed. “Sometimes I’d hear him crying at night.”

Isaac nodded, but he felt almost like crying. Taylor didn’t really want to see him.

Taylor did want to see his brother, though, and it wasn’t hard for Nora to coax him back into the room. “It’s just that. . . I wish he was okay,” Taylor quavered. “I feel bad that he doesn’t feel good.”

“Oh, honey. . .” Nora put her arms around Taylor, kneeling on the floor so that the two of them were eye level. “Honey, he’s so glad to see you. You make him feel better just by being there.”

“I do?” Taylor asked, wiping his eyes.

“You do,” Nora assured him. “You really, really do.”

Taylor took a deep breath. “Ike, I’m coming back!” he yelled. “Get ready!”

“I’m glad you decided to come back,” Isaac told Taylor a few minutes later. Nora and Dan had snuck out of the room for a moment, realizing that Isaac, Taylor and Zac would probably need a minute or two alone to reaquaint themselves with each other.

“I am, too.” Taylor agreed.

“Me, too,” Zac piped.

“Does your tummy hurt really bad?” Taylor asked.

“Sometimes it hurts a little, but not always,” Isaac lied, and Taylor knew better than to believe him.

“It hurts a lot,” Taylor corrected him.

“Not as much as it did,” Isaac allotted.

“He got lost in the grocery store,” Zac supplied, out of the blue.

“You did?” Isaac asked.

“Yeah,” Taylor nodded. “And I got to ride on a shopping cart with a nice old lady...”

“Shoot!” Nora dashed back into the room, with Dan in tow. “Ike, Janine is coming.” Janine was the nurse, both of them knew, who was the most strict and unbending of all the nurses. “You two,” she said to Taylor and Zac, “come here a second.”

The two of them climbed off the bed, reaching Nora just as Janine opened the door.

“And this,” Nora intoned, smiling brightly, “is the type of room where you’ll stay after you have your tonsillectomy.”

Isaac closed his eyes and Dan stared at the floor. If they looked at each other, they knew they’d both start laughing.

“Harumph,” Janine harumphed. “All visitors, five minutes, tops.”

“Just giving a tour,” Nora assured her, breezily.

Janine clenched her lips together. “I see.”

“That was pretty close,” Isaac remarked to Nora, as soon as Janine was gone.

“I know.” Nora exchanged a sorrowful look with Dan.

“I’m sorry,” Dan said.

“You have to go?” Isaac asked.

“No!” Zac shrieked.

“No!” Taylor wailed.

“You guys. . .” Isaac shook his head. “Calm down, okay? You can come and see me again. And I’ll be home soon. Don’t make it hard on Dan and Nora, okay?”

“Promise?” Zac ran his arm across his eyes.

“I promise.” And Isaac really meant it.

He felt kind of bad once Taylor and Zac had gone, but not for very long. Dr. Farrigan stopped by before he left the hospital, pausing in the doorway with a small smile on his face.

“Ike,” he said, “I don’t want to promise you anything, but barring any major complications. . .”

“Yeah?” Isaac asked, knowing what Jim was going to say.

“You’ll be out of here by Friday.”

“I will! Yes!” Isaac forgot how tired he was. “Finally!”

“I thought you’d be happy,” Jim smiled.

Isaac grinned. “Yeah, I mean. . .” suddenly, something occured to him. “You aren’t kidding, right?”

Jim allowed his eyes to widen and his mouth to drop open. “Ike, what do you take me for?”

Isaac shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure.”

Jim shook his head. “No. In fact, I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure.”

Isaac nodded. “Thanks.” He felt like jumping on the bed. “Thank you so much!”

Chapter Forty-Two?

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