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    Who is the coolest person in the history of the world?  I intend to find out.  I have compiled a list of the coolest individuals throughout history by using a carefully selected focus group...  (And by "focus group," I mean Addison.)  By the time the list got up to somewhere around a hundred, I started eliminating.  I first disqualified myself because it's my own website.  (Please say "Awwwww.").  I then continued to narrow down the list to a mere twenty individuals.  (And believe me, that wasn't easy.)  Some time later, the poll was tampered with, which invalidated the results, making it necessary to reset the poll to zero.  (At which time, just for the hell of it, I added three additional names to the list.)  Now, the final vote is up to you.  Who is THE COOLEST PERSON EVER?
 
 
Elvis Presley
Ben Franklin
Frank Sinatra
James Dean
Robert De Niro

 
Who is the coolest person of all time?

Alexander the Great

P. T. Barnum

Humphrey Bogart

Bono

Cleopatra

Sean Connery

James Dean

Robert DeNiro

Aretha Franklin

Ben Franklin

Jerry Garcia

Isaac Hayes

Hugh Hefner

Samuel L. Jackson

Jack Nicholson

Ozzy Osbourne

Elvis Presley

Brian Setzer

Frank Sinatra

Socrates

Bruce Springsteen

Howard Stern

Barbra Streisand


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Humphrey Bogart
.
Barbra Streisand
Bono
P. T. Barnum
Brian Setzer
Howard Stern
Ozzy Osbourne
Socrates
Jack Nicholson
Sean Connery
Cleopatra
Alexander the Great
Aretha Franklin
Hugh Hefner
Bruce Sptingsteen
Isaac Hayes
Jerry Garcia
Samuel L. Jackson

 
You'll notice that I did not include fictional characters.  While Mike Hammer, Bugs Bunny and Fonzie would have all well more than qualified, I consider fictional characters to have an unfair advantage over the rest of us and even the actors who play them.  They exist in a controlled environment.

I also did not include gods or other religious icons.  Everybody would have felt obligated to pick their own.  Christians would have voted for Jesus, Muslims would have voted for Mohammed, and the rest of us would have voted for Ninkasi, the Sumerian goddess of beer.  I'm trying to keep the poll limited to mortals.

I was actually considering accepting write-in candidates, but I didn't want three hundred people repeatedly voting for themselves.  Also, whenever you have a write-in poll, no matter what the category, some schmuck always writes in the word "bitch" and then votes for it six hundred times.  Why "bitch?"  I don't know.  But I've seen a lot of write-in votes on web polls, and it's just one of those things that happens.

So, I carefully selected from all of the coolest individuals throughout history, and then narrowed the list down to a few who seem to go above and beyond the "cool" of duty.  I leave the final decision in your hands.  Choose well.


 
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