RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD

Taoism
Shit happens.

Confucianism
Confucius says, "Shit happens."

Jehovah's Witness
Knock knock.  Shit happens.

Hare Krishna
Shit happens rama-rama-ding-dong.

Mormonism
Shit happens again and again.

Agnosticism
Did that shit happen?

Existentialism
Shit does not happen.  It simply is.

Jainism
I haven't eaten enough for shit to happen.

Seventh Day Adventism
Shit only happens on Saturdays.

Scientology
Beam me up before any more shit happens.

Catholicism
If shit happens, I deserve it.

Methodism
Ditto.

Wicca
If shit happens, blame it on the Christians.

Satanism
If you can't beat the shit, join it.

Sikhism
There are two sides to shit happening.

Islam
When shit happens, blow something up.

Voodoo
When shit happens, stick a pin in it.

Buddhism
If shit happens, is it really shit?

Amish
Shit happens in the outhouse.

Zoroastrianism
This shit's been happening for a long time.

Asatru
Vikings take shit from nobody!

Protestantism
Shit happens but it doesn't stink.

Calvinism
Shit won't happen if I work harder.

Jews for Jesus
No lack of non-shit doesn't avoid not happening.

Jedi
I don't have to deal with shit because I still live with my mom.

Shinto
Get a picture of that shit.

Nihilism
No shit!

Baha'i
Someday, all this shit will be ours.

Discordianism
Shit happens just to screw with your mind.

Zen
What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism
This shit happened before.

New Age
This shit's on sale!

Unitarianism
What is this shit?

Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to me?

Deism
I don't have time for this religious shit; I've got shit to do.

Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit!

Golden Cow Idolatry
Bullshit!