An Otakin visitor to the Otherkin website passed by.  Said the Otakin to the man on the sidewalk, "You're crazy.  All of the probes show that there is no intelligent life on Mars.  Furthermore, all these people other than you are not wearing foil and none of their brains are melting.  No one else has heard of your beings, but the warriors of ancient temples are popularly known."  And he continued on his way to the local comic book convention.

Along the way, he passed an Draconian Otherkin site member.  Said the Draconian to the Otakin, "You're crazy.  You think that you are a fictional character.  You watch cartoons and you think it's real.  Anime is the invention of modern Japanese writers, not true myth, unlike the dragons of the world of old."  And he continued on his way to the local Renaissance Fair.

Along the way, he passed a Goth Vampire.  Said the Goth Vampire to the Draconian, "You're crazy.  You think that you are the reincarnation of a dragon.  Dragons are simply myths loosely based on dinosaurs, none of whom could have been reincarnated into special human beings.  There has been scientific research into V-5, but no evidence to suggest the existence of a fire-breathing reptile."  And he continued on his way to the local Hot Topic.

Along the way, he passed a Sanguinarian Bloodist.  Said the Sanguinarian to the Goth, "You're crazy.  You think that vampires should walk around with costumes from Dracula movies.  You embarrass the vampire community and you propagate stereotypes.  You know nothing of the spiritual experience of the transfer of life energy."  And he continued along his way to the local fetish club.

Along the way, he passed a New Age Neo-Pagan.  Said the New-Ager to the Sanguinarian, "You're crazy.  You think that you're the basis for the creatures of legend, yet many of the traits you exhibit are a later invention.  A true vampire is a risen corpse above all else, and you're no corpse.  You're changing the definition of a word to suit yourself, when what you really are is an advanced role-player and a fetishist.  Your practice is not ancient as mine is."  And he continued along his way to the local drum circle.

Along the way, he passed a Gardenarian Wiccan.  Said the Gardenarian to the New-Ager, "You're crazy.  You mish-mash all sorts of ancient superstitions together, when many of these are based on misinterpretations.  The true wisdom of the ancients has been lost to the Burning Times, and now you merely copy the practices of modern Wicca with a few modifications to suit your biases.  You're religion is one of your own invention, based on nothing but a love of pretty merchandise manufactured for money and sold to fools.  You flaunt your difference like a status symbol, and in doing so, you do not take the Craft seriously.  You do not follow the Rede, your rituals are all performed incorrectly, your knowledge is limited, and you display your pentacle improperly.  I was initiated into my coven, and I do not have a silly fluffy bunny for a spirit guide."  And he continued along his way to the local bookstore.

Along the way, he passed a Scientologist.  Said the Scientologist to the Wiccan, "You're crazy.  You think that the gods are real, when they have obviously been manufactured by a controlling society.  You put faith in a Book of Shadows written by a man who based his works on mis-read history.  You believe in beings from other planes of existence, when those other planes themselves are still merely hypothetical, as opposed to extraterrestrial intelligence, the existence of which is accepted as an almost certainty among the scientific community.  Your mystical herbs and potions are no more real than the placebos contrived by the pharmaceutical corporations for profit.  Unlike you, whose faith deliberately places that which you believe in outside the reach of science, my beliefs can be verified one day through long-range space probes."  And he continued along his way to the local movie studio.

Along the way, he passed a Mormon.  Said the Mormon to the Scientologist, "You're crazy.  You think a known science-fiction writer was also a prophet.  You think that a spaceship would look anything like a DC-10.  You think that an alien condemned the disembodies souls of a number of overpopulated galaxies onto one planet.  You base your beliefs on half-understood pseudoscience and the fabrications of a modern-day author, as opposed to the ancient wisdom of the prophets of God."  And he continued along his way to the local church.

Along the way, he passed an Evangelical Fundamentalist.  Said the Fundamentalist to the Mormon, "You're crazy.  You put faith in a gospel no one had heard of until the nineteenth century.  You believe in something that is not the true canonical text.  You think that the Garden of Eden was in America, regardless of the fact that in Genesis, it is described as being fed by the Tigris and the Euphrates.  You believe that the faithful may preach in the afterlife in the Limbus Paternum, even though the Word of God is clear that hell brings eternal damnation, and the so-called nine levels of hell are merely the fiction of Dante and not in any way based on the inspired books of the Bible.  You allow a man to have many wives, even though a marriage is by definition one man and one woman."  And he continued along his way to the local tent revival meeting.

Along the way, he passed a Roman Catholic.  Said the Catholic to the Fundamentalist, "You're crazy.  You believe that the Bible is infallible, when we know for a fact that we were the ones who compiled it.  You abandon the oral tradition which was the basis for the books you literally swear by.  You condemn us as corrupted and deceived by Satan, even though we were here long before you and created the foundation for what you believe.  You follow with blind loyalty anyone with a big mouth, unlike us, who follow the direct inheritor of the Keys of Heaven as it was passed down from St. Peter."  And he continued along his way to the local picnic.

Along the way, he passed a Unitarian-Universalist.  Said the Unitarian to the Catholic, "You're crazy.  You condemn the mythology of the Pagans, yet change your own faith to incorporate as much of their beliefs as possible.  You follow the dogma invented by the Council of Nicea, which blatantly abandoned nearly all of the Gnostic texts.  You make up rules for the afterlife, but you don't really know.  You make up impractical and oppressive rules to live by, and claim them as the will of God, when so clearly, these rules and traditions were invented by man for political reasons.  You claim a two thousand-year heritage, though your basic beliefs and practices change from one century to the next.  You do good works, yes, but in the name of the same Church as that which has done great evil.  You feign to teach what you do not know.  I do not know the nature of God, but I do not claim to know."  And he continued along his way to wherever.

Along the way, he passed an Atheist.  Said the Atheist to the Unitarian, "You're crazy.  You admit that you do not know the nature of God, but you assume based on nothing that there is one of some kind or another.  You still gather together, even though your beliefs and practices are varied and random.  You do not know anything about a supposed afterlife, but you assume that it exists and is peaceful.  You have forgotten the most fundamental rule of logic, Occam's Razor, which in this case clearly indicates that if there is no reason to suspect that God exists, that it is more sensible to assume that he does not."  And he continued along his way to perform the practical menial tasks of his day.

Along the way, he passed a Skeptic...

Said the Skeptic to the multitude:  "You're ALL crazy!  Here is an Atheist who thinks that the whole of existence can be fit into his own sphere of knowledge.  What nonsense!

"Here is a fat man who thinks he is thin.

"Here is a thin woman who thinks she is fat.

"Here is a fool who thinks he is wise.

"Here is a wise man who thinks he is a fool.

"Here is a young man who thinks he is old.

"Here is an old man who thinks he is young.

"Here is an idealist who thinks that a glorious age of peace and prosperity is just around the corner despite the fact that history has shown violence to be part of human nature, which although it can be repressed, will always return.

"Here is a cynic who thinks that the whole world and the human race are doomed despite the fact that humanity has already survived greater hardships that anything we have now.

"Here is a conspiracy theorist who thinks that aliens are kept at Area 51 and the subject of autopsies despite the fact that the base was declassified, the Roswell crash revealed to be a piece of Cold War spy technology, the autopsy video admitted to be fake, and also the fact that the aliens themselves far too similar to humans to have evolved from scratch on a different planet.

"Here is a fellow who thinks that there is a monster in Loch Ness regardless of the fact that the original photographer of the creature confessed on his deathbed that the picture was a hoax.

"Here is a student who thinks that he is unpopular despite the fact that almost all of the populous feels the same way, making the in-crowd so exclusive that it has no members at all.

"Here is a voter who thinks that his one vote will make a difference even in the face of the fact that our officials are elected to office based on the results of the electoral college and the respective pre-set numbers of votes based on positioning of congressional districts.  Besides that, he thinks that political party is an indicator of a candidates views and character.

"Here is a romantic who thinks that love is spiritual while lust is merely primal instinct, regardless of the fact that so-called romantic tokens are part of the instinctive animal courtship behavior, and mate-selection is just a chemical reaction signifying compatibility of the pheromones.

"Here is a pragmatist who bases his entire life on getting to tomorrow and preparing for things to come, even though it is obvious that he is mortal and will eventually run out of tomorrows.

"And here is a philosopher who suggests that all that exists is an illusion created by our senses despite the fact that the only information on which he could possibly base such a hypothesis must have been acquired through the senses."

And with that, the Skeptic continued along to find more things to debunk.  Along the way, the Skeptic happened past a homeless man wearing aluminum foil on his head.  Said the homeless man to the Skeptic, "You're crazy because you're wearing pants despite the fact that pants are the devil."