|
BIBLICAL CHARACTER
|
WHAT HE'S ON
|
HOW I KNOW THIS
|
| Gabriel |
A combination of narcotics. |
He's a musician. |
| God |
Cocaine |
Created an entire universe from scratch in six days. |
| Goliath |
Steroids |
He's huge! |
| Jesus |
Marijuana |
Loves everyone. Forgives the people who killed him. |
| Job |
Prozac |
Lost everything he had. Didn't flip out. |
| Metatron |
Ecstasy |
Dangerously high body temperature. |
| Methuselah |
Viagra |
Still having kids at his age. |
| Moses |
LSD |
Had a conversation with a flaming bush. Watched the sea
get up
and move out of the way. |
| Noah |
Dramamine |
On a ship for that long, he'd better be. |
| Samson |
PCP |
Smashed a building with his bare hands. |
| Satan |
None |
He's the dealer. |
| Virgin Mary |
Rufies |
Pregnant virgin. |