Fiver arrived at the main entrance to Darklord Castle.  aimed her lightning gun at the huge door and fired.  The door was blown away.

(She felt that someone was watching her from one of the windows, but she couldn't tell for sure.)
 
 
 

"Where am I?" she called out.

I appeared on the scene and explained, "You're nowhere.  The person reading this story has cheated by scrolling down and reading ahead."

"How can you tell?" she asked.

"Simple," I replied, "This part of the story isn't actually in the story."

"So what happens now?"

I said, "Now you go back to start!"

Suddenly, Fiver was surrounded by the same spinning blue vortex which had hurled her to this planet in the first place.  Fiver's mind became clouded, as if she were forgetting everything she had done since she arrived.  She felt herself swept away...
 
 
 

Fiver an Amgine entered a small room in the lower levels of the castle.  A spiral staircase led up, blocked by a heavy locked gate.  True to his future form, Amgine gave Fiver a riddle...

"Answer correctly, and you may pass.  Answer incorrectly, and you die."

"I've got a better idea," said Fiver, "Open the gate, and I can pass.  Ask me a stupid riddle, and YOU die."

"You want the gate open, you don't have a choice," said Amgine.

Fiver sighed...  "Let's hear the riddle."

"Which of these words does not belong?"

A) Digging

B) Shuffling

C) Pumping

D) Golfing

E) Sparkling


The four Fivers walked through the door, when all of a sudden a strange feeling came over them...  They became lightheaded and blacked out for a moment.  Suddenly, Fiver found herself standing alone!

She could remember a duel with Lady Proton.  She could remember fighting witches.  She remembered the robotic wolf which scratched her forehead, although the scratch seemed to have miraculously healed -- along with all the injuries she remembered having received from Lady Proton.  She held the Trellian fighting wand, and she remembered blowing it up several times.  She remembered the maze and she remembered dying -- repeatedly.  She remembered poison gas, aerial drones, several first meetings with Blue Wolf, being asked a riddle at least twice by Amgine, getting shot, getting stabbed, getting knocked off a bridge with a quarterstaff, talking to a Citronian, a Diparlodon cyborg, a Zhelian woman and to herself.  She remembered falling though the same trapdoor twice, rescuing the same child at least three or four times, getting shot with several dart guns, finding the lightning gun in a pile of ship debris, using the astral screen to deflect automated cannons, losing her telekinetic powers several times and regaining them, blowing up the reactor, watching herself blowing up the reactor, trading witticisms with Puck on a few occasions, and wearing now what appeared to be the same black cloak found in three separate locations.

Needless to say it was quite a headrush.

"I take it that Puck finally reintegrated all of you!" came a loud commanding voice, "Fiver Clubb -- population of one!"

From out of the shadows came the Dark Lord himself...  IAGO!!

He was very tall and very powerful.  His skin was gray and his eyes glowed bright red.  He wore armor of all black.  His teeth were fangs and his nails were claws.  His ears were pointed, and his head was bald with a pair of horns.  He walked toward Fiver with an evil grin.

"Welcome to Darklord Castle, Captain Fiver Clubb of the Astro-Nuts!"

"And say hello to my little friend," said Fiver as she blasted Iago with her lightning gun.  He continued to walk toward her.  The blast hadn't even broken his stride.

"As you may recall," said the Dark Lord, stopping just a few feet in front of Fiver, "I have the ability to reconstruct my body at the subatomic level.  This means that I keep growing stronger.  I cannot be harmed twice by the same weapon, and I distinctly remember that you killed me once before, a long time ago, with that very lightning gun.  Once, and never again."

Since this was her first meeting with Iago, Fiver surmised that she was destined to use the weapon on him some time after she returned to her own time.  Fiver didn't think it would help matters to inform Iago that his past was her future.

Iago wasted no time in hurling a fireball from his bare hands at Fiver...  There was no effect.  The astral screen protected her.  Iago looked down and telekinetically ripped the generator from her belt.  Fiver had to think fast.  To buy herself a few extra seconds, she took the cloak and threw it over Iago's face.  The fabric burned away instantly.

Fiver ran back the way she came -- toward the chamber of Lady Proton, who was just getting up from having been knocked out.  Iago followed, but stopped short at the door.

"Somebody told me that any superhuman becomes vulnerable in the presence of Lady Proton," said Fiver, "Let's see if that's true."

Fiver grabbed Proton, who put up considerable resistance.  With a great deal of effort, Fiver managed to throw Proton to a position near to Iago.  Instantly, Iago's eyes stopped glowing.  Before the two could move further apart, Fiver aimed her lightning gun and fired!

KABLAM!!

The Dark Lord Iago was blown into a pile of smoldering ash!

Proton ran to the back of the room, and pressed a hidden button, opening a secret door.  She ran through.

As soon as Proton was out of the room, the remains of Iago disappeared.

Fiver ran through the door after Proton.

"You're too late!" called Proton, "As soon as I left his presence, his body started its regeneration process!  In a year, he'll be back stronger than ever!"

"I know he never attacks the same planet twice," called Fiver, "I've read about his tactics.  When he loses, he moves on."

Fiver tossed her lightning gun over her shoulder and walked -- not ran -- after Proton.
 
 

Fiver had met this man during a previous mission.  A time-travelling trickster by the name of Amgine.  He had an annoying habit of asking people deadly riddles.

"Why am I not surprised to see you here," said Fiver.

"I knew you were going to say that," said Amgine, "Long story short:  Your past self encountered my future self once.  Fortunately, I have a psychic awareness of my own destiny."

"Do you foresee me kicking your ass if you don't lower the force field?" said Fiver.

True to form, Amgine offered Fiver a riddle.  "Your other self in the basement of this castle got this one right, let's see how you do."

"Oh, hell, not another me!  I have a hard enough time living with one of me!"

Amgine continued, "Answer correctly, and I lower the force field.  Answer incorrectly, and you die."

"I've got a better idea," said Fiver, "Lower the force field, and I go on my way.  Ask me..."

"I know," said Amgine, "Ask you a stupid riddle and I die.  You're other self made the same threat, and I'll tell you what I told her.  If you want me to lower the force field, you don't have a choice."

Fiver sighed, "Let's hear this riddle."

"Which of these words does not belong?"

A) Digging

B) Shuffling

C) Pumping

D) Golfing

E) Sparkling


Fiver entered a room full of weapons on display.  A transparent case was in the center of the room with a trapdoor just below it.  Sitting at the opposite end of the room was Lady Proton.

She wore a pink suit somewhat similar to Fiver's.  Her hair was pink and cut short with an almost punk look.  Her ears and her teeth were pointed, suggesting that she was a Tencaren.  (Tencar was also Iago's planet or origin.)

"So you're the one causing all the trouble around here," said Proton.

"So you're the one banging the dictator," said Fiver.

"To be honest, he's beginning to bore me," said Proton, "I need to be challenged.  This being waited on hand and foot doesn't agree with me.  Iago says that power makes him feel comfortable, but I know the real Iago.  He never conquers the same planet twice.  I know that he lives for the hunt -- for the chase.  He'd rather conquer than rule, just as I'd rather fight."

Just then the trapdoor opened, and three items floated up into the transparent case:  An astral screen generator (a personal force field), a Trellian Fighting Wand, and the lightning gun -- a one-of-a-kind energy rifle invented by the Immortal Watchers of the Galaxy.

"Just a few things my 'witches' appropriated from your double," said Proton.

Fiver tried to levitate the weapons from the case, but found that her telekinetic powers were inoperative.

"In case you haven't heard," said Proton, "No one can use superhuman abilities in my presence.  Oh, your telekinesis will function normally as soon as you get further away from me, but in the meantime, we're on equal terms."

"Then I guess we're at an impasse," said Fiver, "What do you suggest?"

With that, Proton sprang from her seat and picked up a white glove from one of the tables.  She walked over to Fiver and slapped her across the face.  "I challenge you to a duel."

"I accept," said Fiver.  (To refuse wasn't even an option to Fiver.)

Proton smiled with an almost giddy excitement.  "I'm so glad I ordered the droids to allow you to steal those weapons from the storage base.  I was so hoping to face you in single combat.  Choose your weapon.  But I warn you.  I'm highly trained in ALL forms of weaponry."
 
 

Amgine started to draw his weapon, but Fiver quickly levitated the gun from his hand.  She fired, blasting a hole through Amgine's chest.

"We had an agreement..." said Amgine, falling to the ground.

"I said you could ask me the riddle.  I never said I agreed to your terms," said Fiver.

Fiver was about to go figure a way to go forward, when the castle suddenly vanished!  Everything disappeared around her, and she was left standing in a great void.

"You can't erase a part of your own history," came the voice of Puck from somewhere in the distance, "and Amgine's future is a part of your past.  You're only hope is to be redeposited into some other existing timeline."

"Where?"

"By going all the way back to the beginning!  Ha ha ha!"

Fiver's memory became clouded, as though she were forgetting what had just happened.  It was as if she were moving back in time, and her memory was wiping away as she moved back...

Soon, she found herself flying through the blue vortex again...
 
 

Fiver saw the broken fragments from her scanner lying by the side of the road.  She was back where she had first met Puck.  But what was this place.  She remembered that she was on the planet Aardvark, but that was about all.  She came to a fork in the road.  She knew that she had been here before, and that her experiences had been somehow undone.  All she could think was, "Next time, say 'shuffling.'"

THIS TIME, Fiver chose to turn...
 
 

Fiver knew that the word "shuffling" applied to an entire deck of cards, whereas the other words applied respectively to each suit.  (Spade for digging, heart for pumping, club for golfing, and diamond for sparkling.)

Amgine reluctantly opened the gate and allowed Fiver to climb the stairs.  As for Amgine, he went on up a hidden flight of stairs, to ask a riddle of someone now about to enter the castle.

Fiver went up past level one...  level two...  on to level three...

At the top of the stairs, Fiver looked out a window to see her double from the field blast the door to the castle into ash with a bolt of lightning from her powerful energy rifle.

"Now she's my idea of decent reinforcements," thought Fiver.

She turned and walked through a door...
 
 
 

Fiver knew that the word "shuffling" applied to an entire deck of cards, whereas the other words applied respectively to each suit.  (Spade for digging, heart for pumping, club for golfing, and diamond for sparkling.)

Amgine reluctantly lowered the force field and allowed Fiver to enter the main chamber.

From behind, Amgine called, "This planet has no magnetic field.  Trust your memory, not your sense of direction."

Before Fiver could wonder about what that comment was supposed to mean, a new force field appeared directly behind her, blocking the way she had come in.  The lights in the room came on.

A set of staircases led to a walkway which surrounded the room on three sides.  Along the walkway were three doors.  The doors opened...

Suddenly, in a flash of light, Fiver's astral screen, lightning gun and fighting wand were levitated into the air and into a small trapdoor in the ceiling.  The trapdoor closed.  Fiver was left unarmed!

From the doors, three mutated women appeared, dressed in black cloaks.  Iago's so-called witches.  The doors closed behind them, as the witches flew from the walkway telekinetically throwing Fiver against the force field.

"Oh, they want to play rough," commented Fiver.

Fighting against other telekinetics was something Fiver had done very often growing up on Zyxn.  With a few well-timed moves, Fiver had her three assailants flipping through the air and slamming into walls and ceiling.  The three fell to the ground, knocked unconscious.

Fiver shook her head.  "Just too damn easy," she said as she climbed the stairs to the walkway...
 
 

Fiver opted to...
 
 

"When you get a chance, read the feature article 'Comic Comebacks,' and press the spacebar.  You will see magically spinning wheels."

It was simply signed, "The Emperor of...  Y'know...  Stuff."
 
 

This other Fiver had a Trellian fighting wand  and an astral screen generator hooked to her belt.  She was not wearing a witch's cloak, and her suit jacket was hanging over one shoulder.  She had a black eye and a swollen lip dripping the luminescent blood of a Zyxnian.  Her shirt was damp with perspiration.  On the positive side, the scratch was missing from her forehead.

"I hope you have some idea how to blast this door," said the other Fiver.

The first Fiver touched the door.  Its texture was like the walls of the reactor building.  "The lightning gun won't work on this one.  Are you still telekinetic?"

"Yeah, and I'm guessing from the cloak, so are you."

"We'll have to combine our power."

The two Fivers focused their energy on the door, but it refused to budge.  Zyxnian telekinesis was cumulative, but it would take more than just two Fivers to break this door down.

All of a sudden, the other Fiver said, "I got an idea!!"
 
 

With an explosive force, a bolt of lightning fired from the barrel of the gun against the door, leaving a cloud of smoke.  As the smoke cleared, Fiver could see that the door was completely undamaged.

"What a rip-off," Fiver said to herself.

She tried to force the door telekinetically, but it was too strong.  Just then, she heard someone coming up the stairs.  Entering the room was the other Fiver!!

This other Fiver was unarmed.  She wore the black witch cloak, and had a mild scratch on her forehead (but no other visible injuries).

Figuring that this other Fiver had more knowledge about the lightning gun, she said to her, "I hope you have some idea how to blast this door."

The alternate Fiver touched the door as if examining its texture.  "The lightning gun won't work on this one," she said, "Are you still telekinetic?"

"Yeah, and I'm guessing from the cloak, so are you."

"We'll have to combine our power."

The two Fivers focused their energy on the door, but it refused to budge.  Zyxnian telekinesis was cumulative, but it would take more than just two Fivers to break this door down.

The first Fiver looked back and forth between the two of them for a moment, wondering if there was any way to find more copies of herself to use as reinforcements...  All of a sudden, she got an idea!!
 
 

"COOL!!" the four of them yelled in unison.

The four Fiver Clubbs combined their psychokinetic energy, and ripped the door from its hinges with a blinding bluish white flash!  With a grin, the four of them walked into the chamber of Iago...
 
 

"COOL!!" the four of them yelled in unison.

The four Fiver Clubbs combined their psychokinetic energy, and ripped the door from its hinges with a blinding bluish white flash!  With a grin, the four of them walked into the chamber of Iago...
 
 

"Prepare!"

The two combatants fought fiercely all around the room.  The blades slashed through the decor of the chamber.  Finally, Fiver and Proton found themselves moving toward a doorway.  Proton was first to leap outside onto a walkway which led toward a tower.  Fiver jumped to the same walkway.

"Let's make this more interesting," said Proton as she snapped her fingers.

The guardrails folded down, leaving the two combatants now facing each other on a narrow beam high above the ground.

"Works for me," said Fiver, as she lunged forward.

The battle raged on, until finally the two swords clanged together one last time, breaking in half!  Now both combatants were left holding broken sword handles, which they tossed aside.  They lunged at each other with bare hands!

During the struggle, the two women lost their footing, and fell down past the high castle walls, impacting upon the ground.  Fiver felt the force of impact blow through her body as she looked up at the sky.  Her last thought was, "At least I got her as good as she got me."
 
 

The two combatants stood back to back, and each walked ten paces, turned and fired!

Fiver saw Proton lurch back behind a puff of smoke, as at the same moment, Fiver felt something hit her chest -- like someone giving her a shove.  She looked at Proton and saw on her shirt, a stain starting to appear.  A similar stain began to take shape on Fiver's shirt.  As she began to feel lightheaded, both combatants fell to the ground.

Fiver looked up toward the ceiling, as the room went black.  Her last thought was, "At least I got her as good as she got me."
 
 

"I suggest we step outside," said Proton.

Fiver followed Proton out onto a walkway which led toward a castle tower.  Proton snapped her fingers, and the guardrails folded down, leaving the two combatants standing on a narrow beam high above the ground.

"Prepare," said Proton.

The two women exchanged several blows with their staffs, but in the end, the more skillful of the two was successful...  Fiver Clubb was knocked from the beam!

She fell, staff in hand, and cloak flapping in the breeze, down past the high castle walls, impacting upon the ground.  Fiver felt the force of impact blow through her body as she looked up at the Lady Proton standing high above her.  "Damn.  She's good," thought Fiver.
 
 

"I suggest we step outside," said Proton.

Fiver followed Proton out onto a walkway which led toward a castle tower.  Proton snapped her fingers, and the guardrails folded down, leaving the two combatants standing on a narrow beam high above the ground.

"Prepare," said Proton.

The two women exchanged several blows with their wands, but in the end, the more practiced of the two was successful...  Fiver Clubb felt the phaser pulse run through her as she was knocked from the beam!

She fell, fighting wand in hand, and cloak flapping in the breeze, down past the high castle walls, impacting upon the ground.  Fiver felt the force of impact blow through her body as she looked up at the Lady Proton standing high above her.  "Damn.  She's good," thought Fiver.
 
 

"I don't have gloves," said Proton.

"Fine by me," said Fiver.

No gloves.  No rounds.  But the old rules still apply.  They were two fierce fighters, but not barbarians.

The fight dragged on...  and on...  and on!

Had the fight been arranged into rounds, it would have been about the sixth or seventh when the two fighters began to weaken.

Both combatants took a considerable pounding, and fell to the ground a few times.  Luminescent Zyxnian blood splattered from Fiver's lips, and a pointed Tencaren fang flew across the room.  But in the end, one fighter was knocked out, and the other stood victorious.  The winner -- Captain Fiver Clubb of the Astro-Nuts.

"Good fight, but don't mess with the champ," panted Fiver, as she tossed her jacket over her shoulder.  She retrieved the weapons from the case (the lightning gun, fighting wand and astral screen generator).  She had no more need for the witch's cloak.

Before leaving, she glanced into a mirror.  Her shirt was damp with perspiration, and she had a black eye and a bloody lip.  She chuckled because she had had much worse many times before.

Fiver stepped out onto a walkway leading to the tower.
 
 

"Here we go again," he said, "Another Fiver Clubb bites the dust.  Unfortunately, I can't take you because there's more than one of you."

"So what happens now?" asked Fiver.

"Now I have to go an reintegrate you with one of you that's still alive.  Think of this as hitting the reset button.  I turn the clock back to before the duel, so Proton gets to fight a different version of you instead of this you, and you get to take the place of some other you who wandered in and out of this room for no reason.  Personally, I think this is stupid, but Puck's making a mess of the timeline, and that means that I'm stuck having to..."

"Spare me the professional bitching, and just find me another body," Fiver demanded.

Charon reluctantly led Fiver to a place in the castle, where she could merge with another version of herself.  In a moment, her memory of being killed faded, and she was left with the memory of having destroyed the reactor which powered the robotic drones...  and of being poisoned...  and of battling a robotic wolf...  and of fighting aerial drones...  and of battling three "witches" in the large castle chamber just before the stairs collapsed...

Fiver walked down a flight of stairs to a locked gate.  In ghost form, Fiver and Charon walked through the gate, where another Fiver was just entering...  Just then, she lost consciousness.

She woke up a moment later on the floor of this small room.  She was now alone, and unclear as to her own memory of how she died moments ago, or how she got this scratch in her forehead.  She stood up and looked around.  The word "Proton" was over the gate -- still locked.  To her left was a door.

Naturally, Fiver tried to force the gate with her powers.  Although Fiver's telekinetic powers were apparently still intact in this alternate body, the gate was too strong.  (She also noted that like before, she was wearing the black cloak but carrying no weapons.)
 
 

"What's all this?" asked Fiver.

"Puck told me what happened," said Blue Wolf, "He told me how he split you into several different timelines.  He did the same thing to me back in the twenty-first century.  I must have made a wrong choice because I've been stuck on this planet for six months now."

"The end result following the recombination was this," said Puck, "the future of the planet Aardvark."

Fiver glared at Puck.  "You're an ass!"

"I think he's cool," said Amgine.

"Shut up," said Proton.

"All right, I won your little game," said Fiver, "Now get us off this planet."

Puck pointed toward the ledge.  A black and green vortex appeared. He announced, "This wormhole leads to another dimension.  In it, you'll find a labyrinth, in which I have hidden the ichor of the Sphinx.  Whoever's DNA becomes bonded to hers will become a living god."

Fiver, Blue Wolf and Proton answered simultaneously, "Not interested."

"Well, I'm game," said Amgine as he jumped into the vortex.

Puck waved his hands and the vortex turned to pink.  "This wormhole leads to the future.  Some medical examiners on a distant planet would like to know more about the blood of the Lady Proton, and how to defeat superhuman beings."

"Is that supposed to be an invitation to me?" asked Proton.

"Would you rather stay on this planet?" Puck said with a wink, "Besides, that planet happens to be the next world destined to be visited by a certain Dark Lord."

Proton glanced at the slums surrounding the castle, and then stepped up to the vortex.  Before jumping in, she said to Fiver, "Good fight, Captain."

Next, Puck wave his hands and the vortex turned purple.  "The next two wormholes lead to the past.  The early twenty-first century.  This one leads to the planet Reldoc."

"Home," breathed Blue Wolf with a gleam in his eye.  He stepped up to the ledge.  "When you get back, if you're ever in the Reldocian star system, look me up."

"Should I look under 'Blue Wolf?'" asked Fiver with a smirk.

"Lojin," said Blue Wolf, "My name is Nelo Lojin."

"I'm Fiver Clubb," said the former 'Black Panther.'

Blue Wolf smiled, as he jumped into the vortex and vanished.  Now, Puck waved his hands, and the vortex turned blue -- just as it was when it first transported Fiver from the battle against the Dehumans in the Second Continuum.

"Last stop is yours," said Puck with a smile, "And take care of that lightning gun.  The fate of the universe will rest on it one day."

Fiver jumped into the vortex and was instantly transported to her own time.  The place was the Tristar Second Continuum.  She was immediately attacked by the most dangerous mercenary of the time, and a temporary ally of the Dehumans -- Iago.  With one shot from her lightning gun, she vaporized her assailant.  His ashes disappeared, just as the future Dark Lord's did on Aardvark, suggesting that Iago was probably now in the process of reconstructing his body.  "He was right," Fiver thought to herself, "I did kill him with a lightning gun a long time ago."

Fiver was glad to be back in the place from which she came...  and right in the middle of a twentieth-century battle it seemed.  Fiver was now surrounded by an army of more than fifty Dehumans, ready to resume the fight where they had left off before the time portal interfered.

Fiver smiled...  "Bring it on."