Not Lost But Not Found. Sad Poetry.

Sad Poetry

A Night in November

i marked when the weather changed and the panes began to quake
and the winds rose up and ranged that night lying half-awake

dead leaves blew into my room,
and alighted upon my bed and a tree declared to the gloom

its sorrow that they were shed
one leaf of them touched my hand and i thought that it was you
there stood as you used to stand

and saying at last you knew............

~Sharon~

you lie
i cry
i wounder why
I sigh
i fly
My heart you tie
I lay
I die
I dont try
Won't buy
Not I
I'm not that guy

~Josiah~Martz~

Truth
Standing there with a troubled look, I wonder if you even care,
About the nights that I held you close in our bed.
Some say truth hurts, but to me its a savior.
I hope you love me as much as i do you. but if not,
do not do me wrong, tell me that we could never again be what I want us to be.
But untill then, i hope I may hold you in my arms,
Till i Find manifest in singularity,
Which I see no profit in,
When I could have you.

~SirMoses~

Lovly Drops

The thunder rolls
burning souls
rejoice
rain cooling voice
wash away everything
hear the thunder ring
rolling it fades
light chases in shades
follow the lightning in hope
chase the dream to cope

~Josiah~Martz~

THINGS HAPPEN FOR REASONS NOT KNOWN ,
CAUSED FROM SOMETHING ABOVE OR BELOW.
THINGS COME AND GO.
THEY FLOW AND GROW STRONGER AS EVERY DAY COMES.
HATE IS THE BURDIN I CARRY. WIEGHT ON MY SHOULDERS.
DARK HALLS AND EMPTY WALLS.
THESE WALLS I ONCE BUILT TO PROTECT ME ARE CLOSIGN IN ON ME TO KILL ME.
THE END IS NEAR. SO I FEAR.
I SIT HERE TYPING THESE THOUGTS OUT ON YOUR EMAIL.
WOW WHAT A TAIL.
TO BE TOLD BUT NOT FOR ME TO UNFOLD.
AS BOLD AS I MAY SEEM. IM ONLY A BEEM OF LIGHT.
THAT ONCE SHINNED ONTO MANY SOULS.
BUT NOW, LOST IN ENDLESS ROADS OF MISISRY.
IT HAUNTS MY SOUL.
THE RAGE THAT I PUT INSIDE THE CAGE, I CAN HEAR IT.
ITS COMING FOR ME.
I DONT KNOW WHEN, BUT I FEEL ITS PRESENCE GETTING CLOSER.
THE HALLS AND WALLS NOW PITCH BLACK.
I THINK ITS GOING TO START TO ATTACK.
WHERE DO I GO.
I CANT TURN AWAY AND FREE FLIGHT AND ASTRAY.
IM TRAPPED AND IT HAS ME MAPPED.
HELP,HELP,HELP IS WHAT IM YELLING.
BUT MY WORDS ARE BUT SILNCE IN THE WIND BLOWING ENDLESSLY INTO THE SKY,
WHY MUST I DIE...?
~Big Rob from LA Canada CA~

Pushing pulling spinning falling
I’m losing it all I won’t last the fall
You push me I stumble
My violence now humble
I don’t want more
I’ll settle the score
Can’t handle can’t control
You can’t bury my soul
The cage is to thin
Back to what I’ve been
~Josiah~Martz~

We wont last
Our minds will crash
Feel my pain feel my lash
It’ll all be gone and we don’t mind
Now we revolt al of our kind.
~Josiah~Martz~

?What Now?
Forsaken i am forsaken ill be
what is to be made of me
to wonder lost ripped and broke
be brushed aside with just one stroke
stay in pain or leave empty
stay and hear go or see
what will ever become of me?
~Josiah~Martz~

Game
The voices speak the pain is heard
I take the pill I think I’m cured
but alas I’m the same
just lost to the game
Life a sport that few will win
frustrated with pain power and sin
what is next what’s to be
lets just wait, wait and see
~Josiah~Martz~

Here maybe there
Here I am in my own mind
Restraints of the world I feel the bind
Pain is wanted love I fear
But in all I drop no tear
I'll stay and watch from afar
Try to brake the restraining bar
I feel no love I feel no hate
No turning back it's way to late
Care is lost, dreams are lost
Dream no more, my cares are tossed
Feeling numb inside and out
Me leaving is all I think about
So cold I grow so cold I'll be
But don't fear at all for me
My fears, my tears my pains
My dreams, my hopes, my strains
The pain I once felt has returned for more
My body, my mind, my soul grows sore
Truly lonely gagged and bound
I am not lost, but yet I am not found
~Josiah~Martz~

Eat The Shell

There’s nothing in this world but crap
I go in every crack, corner and can’t find the map
come take me from this trap
this saying that is warping my brain
but there is so much pain
gallons of tears becoming’ rain, there’s so much to complain about
So come take me from this trap
or I’d be in a wrap from hell, and shut up in a shell.

~DeadWalkingChick~

Thoughts

Shameful thoughts running through my head,
as I lay here in a dreadful bed.
I'd think more about pain,
the more tears I would gain.
I start to shack in fear,
as I don't feel as a peer.
I am different I see in a mirror,
then I see that I became a mischief.
I then go nuts,
I start to abut.
I can't feel texture,
this is so much torture.
I live in hell,
shit I can't even spell.
So why try? I must die.

~DeadWalkingChick~

Lovers

true lovers lay on down beds
silent, asking nothing of each other but to bask in the heat of one another's bodies
their hearts tremble at every breath the other takes
My lovers lay me down in beds of thorns and needles
they never shut up
asking
often too much
sometimes too little
their hands trembling as if to say they aren't sure
of me
of life
of anything
I dream of feather beds and force my heart to tremble
not at their breath
but at the fear of being alone
I have had lovers, never love
I have slept in their arms, but never deep enough to dream
I have laid on feather beds, only to be impaled

~Affexion~

Fairytale of Angels

I was once in love
with my own ideas
that we could see shadows
that were never there
I realize now we were just broken
a part of who we are was stolen
the thief in the night left no address
and we both felt safer
alone and undressed
I believed once that I could make you feel
I'm so sick
of believing
in things that cannot be real

~Affexion~

Touch

I want to reach out
to touch your flesh
to feel your heart
as it beats
sporadic
like a cornered animal
as it dodges to the left
then right
in an attempt to get away
muscles stiffen
I cannot move
What if I try
and my hand goes through you
I always stumble through daydreams
reality is too abrasive
fantasy too soft
I want to live
in this world I have created
I want to live
in any world
but this

~Affexion~

Beyond the Valley of the Dead

I saw you once
the real you
alone and cold
needing to be held
but I blinked
and it was gone
I was once again
looking into eyes
so far away
lost in thought
or
just lost
I want to cradle that broken little boy
I want to hum so he can sleep
I want to see that look in his eyes again
begging for the love
that I am dying to give

~Affexion~

Too many Movies

there is no truth in advertising
there is no truth
in truth
sunsets are a lie
nothing ends
nothing begins
all is
as it will ever be
filled with hate
suffocated by love
shunned by peace
embraced by war
I reach out into the darkness
my eyes open wide
searching
for a pinpoint of light

~Affexion~

Woman

Draw back my velveteen curtains
and expose an exuberant dawn
mountains and valleys
a woman's body as it was meant to be
I feared for too long
that I would be forgotten post mortem
but now I know
I burn memories
in the retinas of my lovers
I will not allow
my name to be stricken
from a tongue that has touched my flesh
I am woman, hear me purr
for we do not roar
we persuade
through sleek seduction
not
brute force
in the garden of Eden
our insatiable curiosity
brought sin to man
and we have yet
to relent
or
repent
woman
evil be thy name
and I shall feel no shame
in who I am
for men need us
not just
to procreate
but to show them beauty
the Divine
in
the profane
men hunger
to protect
and we feign
insecurities
desperation
and need
as to keep them
on a very
very
short leash

~Affexion~

Question Sleep

I lay my head down to sleep
I sleep only to dream
only in dreams am I happy
only in dreams am I in love
even in nightmares I am no longer bored
I wake up each day
only to insist on dreaming again
and so the cycle starts
until my body revolts
and forces open my eyes
so much for happy endings

~Affexion~

Unloved

so here we are, the unloved, the unwanted
constantly searching, constantly haunted
by thoughts of what we wish could be
with thoughts of love setting us free
but we will never have what we long for
our personalities made so wrong for
companionship
even friendship is lost on us
and so we live our lives but only because we must
or maybe because we are afraid to die
afraid of what lies on the other side
though we, well I, wonder if it could be worse
laying peacefully followed in a hearse
to see that day who truly cared
if anyone at all is even there
when I look back in life I figure
it will just be me, the preacher, and the gravedigger

~Affexion~

The Cycle

~Affexion~

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