Where The Boys Are

Chris Noth turns the tables on his Sex and the City costars
by analyzing women, over winks and drinks.

When you enter Da Marino's, an Italian restaurant in New York's Theater District, three things are likely to happen.  (1)Pasquale, the owner, will embrace you like a long-lost cousin (don't be afraid).  (2) You will faint with joy over the mussels, the specialty of the house.  (3) You will find Chris Noth, Mr. Big from HBO's Sex and the City surrounded by his friends: Charlie Kipps, who writes screenplays; Joe Passaro, an actor; and others, like director Allison Anders and one Sarah Jessica parker, who casually dropped by to toast Chris.
Suzan Colón gathered them her to discuss dating.  If this had been a date, it would have been very interesting.

Cocktails:  The evening starts at 8

Suzan:  I guess we should start with why dinner is a good first date.
Chris:  I'm not sure it is a good first date.  It's an easy first date, because you can sit and talk. I do it all the time.  I used to do much more interesting things when I met a girl:  hitchhike together and wander around the city.  Dinner is already on sort of a formal level.
Joe:  It's also a very safe date.  There's a different ring to saying, "Would you like to have dinner on Thursday?" then "What are you doing Thursday?  Wanna hitchhike?"
Well, that's definitely creative.  But when you say "dinner" to a woman, she's hearing "date."  I don't think "hitchhiking" has the same meaning.
Chris:  A lot of women tell me they don't like to go on a date, they don't like to use that world.  It's too old-fashioned.
Joe:  I guess ifyou don't know the person very well, dinner is a potential disaster, because then you  have the whole meal together to stare at each other.
Chris:  The only thing that can possibly make up for it is having sex afterward.
Charlie:  Maestro!  Play the theme from Titanic! Chris is going down!

First course:  No, wait, it's the second round
Charlie:  The first date, by definition, is awkward.  But I think you can tell pretty early if you're going to have a good time.
Chris:  But there are some people who are talkers at dinner and others that aren't.  In another circumstance, you'd get to see another facet to them.  You can be really fooled by a good dinner.  The candlelight, it's dark, you've had a few, or in Charlie's case, a bottle.
Charlie:  You know what?  I'm going to go public.  I was waiting to sell this to the National Enquirer for $50,000, but I'm sick of this.  It's Chris who needs help.
Chris:  Well, according to the Internet, I'm bald, a drug addict and an alcoholic.

Second course, round three: bruschetta, salad and guy talk
On a date, who picks the restaurant, the guy or the girl?
Charlie:  I usually say the place I like to go, but sometimes if one of us is running late or something, I'll say, "Is there any place around your apartment?"
Joe:  Then you don't have far to go after dinner [Mucho macho laughter]
What can you tell about a person from what they order?
Chris:  It doesn't matter what she orders, just that she orders.  I went out with a model once who took one bit of her food and then wouldn't eat any more.  I like a woman who fucking eats!  Sarah Jessica eats, and it's great.  Being excited about food is very romantic.
It's great when you've got that chemistry where you think the person is hot, but they're your friend.
Chris:  I haven't found the hot-friendship thing yet.  How do I put this, without sounding like an idiot?  Your tastes, your imaginations, your sense of humor--which is the most important thing, along with intellectual capacity--they all have to work together.  I need an intellectual stand-up comedian who's half-Gypsy and half-Tahitian.  Is it any wonder that I'm still not married?
Pasquale:  Chris! Telephone!
It's the Tahitian intellectual stand-up comic!
Chris:  Excellent.

Main course:  romance, vices, and mollusks
Chris:  Can we turn these lights?  I need darkness.  I don't like the light on me.
Charlie:  Sort of like Frankenstein.
Chris [to Susan]:  So listen, baby, I've got a lot of friends who think you're pretty hot. [Cocking an eyebrow]  What are you drinking?
Water, I'm on duty, you know.
Chris:  Bah!  AT least have some of these mussels, they're the best in the city.  I want to talk about romanticism!
Fine [stuffing her face full of mussels].  Romanticism, go.
Chris:  Let's face it, darling, we can't escape romanticism--we might as well embrace it.
I don't want to escape romanticism.  I'm just having a little trouble finding it.
Chris:  Which means you're a secret romantic.  Come on, let's really talk about romanticism.  Where does the term come from?  It comes from the romantic poets of the 18th century.  The way people talk about it today, romanticism is nothing more than an R&B pop song.  It's been diluted into the most simplistic bullshit.
Charlie:  I hate to sound unromantic, but what is all this?
Chris:  Don't you have a basketball game to watch?  This, from my friend!  I've known him all these years and never once have I ever guessed that you were incurably unromantic.
Charlie: I live my life in a very romantic way.
Chris:  Oh, yes.  Falling in your own puke at the end of the night. That's very romantic.  You understand what I'm saying?  What are your memories when you think about what's made you happy?  They're very simple moments of connection with someone you loved, or maybe a perfect day when the sun was shining.  You aren't gonna say, "One of the happiest days of my life was when I was in Vanity Fair."

Dessert:  last chance
Chris:  Are you married?
No.  I'm in the shopping cart.
Charlie:  What do you mean by that?
Not taken exactly, but I'm in the cart being wheeled around in the store.
Charlie:  Ah! Taken, not stirred.
No--stirred, not taken.
Joe: That's a better place to be.
Charlie: That was great.  Brilliant.  I'm going to the bar because you'll never top that.
Chris: Too bad you don't drink, baby.

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