AN: This is not for the weak of heart, so I warn you now.  Please review, and things in this story aren't as they appear.

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, the song "Once There Was the Sun", which is from Thumbelina (I know, but like I said in an earlier fic, the movie suck but the music is GOOD!), or the "It's all Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion.	

	"Once, there was the sun... bright and warm and wonderful... we sailed far beyond the stars," Relena sang to her infant daughter, Malora, as she whirled her in maternal embrace of precious roundelay in mourning dove's eloquence through the tresses of golden luminescence with the radiance of crystal dew upon each strand, which the sun shed through the nursery window of the room.

<There were nights when the wind>
<Was so cold,>
<That my body frose in bed>
<If I just listened to it>
<Right outside the window.>

	She playfully giggled along with her baby as the child laughed, amused by the sweet melody that her mother cantered for her liking, and continued to twirl the infant along the winds which they created by the songs of their shallow breath--Relena's voice a comfort for her daughter to know that mommy was always by her fondling in protection and to hold her above herself in wonder of the little miracle in her arms.  

<There were days when the sun>
<Was so cruel,>
<That all the tears turn to dust,>
<And I just knew my eyes were>
<Drying up forever.>

	A bit hesitant, but none the less exhausted from holding the bundle above herself for such a duration, she laid the baby on her cradle mattress--adorned with fleeting pastel ribbons and lace along the wooden trim, teddy bears of various hues of browns, grays, and whites along with their own bows and assortment of flora and ornaments--, taking off Malora's dress and preparing her for her bath.  

	The child giggled once more as she saw her mother pick up the bear her father had given her especially for her to hold in the tub, and Relena buried her nose into her daughter's forehead--the doe nuzzling her fawn, newborn and dependent on her guidance and trepidation, the most affectionate kiss which the guardian can provide--, whispering to Malora as she did so, "That's right, it's time for you and Waterfall to take a bath, and he'll keep you company to make sure soap doesn't get in your eyes," with a gentle grace of her love.

<I finished crying in the instant>
<That you left,>
<And I can't remember where>
<Or when or how,>

	With one last coo from the baby, she waltzed her into the bathroom, the running water able to be heard in the next room where Heero sat, writing once again in his journal.

<And I banished every memory>
<You and I had ever made.>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

	Heero sat at his desk composing diligently upon the paper bound within the grasp of the leather's bind, his strokes quick and yet flowed from his hand as tears upon a flushing cheek with the thoughts he wished to record upon its lines.  

<But when you touch me like this,>
<And you hold me like that,>
<I just have to admit>
<That it's all coming back to me.>

	*As I sit here now, capturing the thoughts that race through my mind into words, I can hear the water rushing in the other room--Relena giving Malora a bath, no doubt.  I can't help but wonder why I'm being put through this torture that plagues me everyday of my sorry being, never to receive any consolation for my suffering, but perhaps just additional punishment for my former sins--I still must not having atoned for them yet.  

<When I touch you like this,>
<And I hold you like that,>
<It's so hard to believe>
<But it's all coming back to me.>

	*I can just sit here for the rest of my days, telling myself that I can live on, but my soul, my once-revived heart, they scream at this hypothesis, mocking my will to do as I see moral... just living as an empty shell for everyone else.

<There were moments of gold,>
<And there were flashes of light.>

	I've never felt alone in my life, for I never knew what it was like to have companionship and comradery until I met my dearest Relena--she blessing me with a legacy, a daughter to cherish and nurture as well.  However, I feel abandoned now.

<There were things I'd never do again,>
<But then they always seemed right.>
<There were nights of endless pleasure,>
<More than any laws allow.>
<Baby, baby,>

	*This is stupid... I can't believe I actually listened to Duo's suggestion--of all people to listen to, I picked Duo--, composing a journal to realize and combat my feelings toward this whole affair.  Even a year ago, I would have called you crazy for saying that I would ever have a diary... how the tables have turned.* 
	
	As he was about to write down the next sentence, he heard the retreating water as the drain swallowed the liquids now tainted with shampoo and numerous oils and perfumes of rose and jasmine fragrance, and sighed, resting his head in his hands--just sitting there, lost in his own reality of despair.

<If I kiss you like this,>
<And if you whisper like that,>
<It was lost long ago,>
<But it's all coming back to me.>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

	Relena came forth from the room and entered back into the nursery, pressing her tired little princess against her breast, looking down unto her with an adoration, a glance of true and innocent love for the child that developed within her womb--conceived by the man she so loved with her entire being, both in flesh and spirit, their union and becoming of one seeming perpetual in bliss--, and she kissed the tiara of her daughter's tresses, silken and soft as the plush that shared her dreams with her.  

<If you want me like this,>
<And if you need me like that,>
<It was dead long ago,>
<But it's all coming back to me.>

	"Now, there's, no more sun... winter, has killed everything," she began to sing again to her baby, this time a lullaby for her infant to have beautiful fantasies and dreams of unicorns and mermaids in splendor and purity of a child's imagination as she nursed her sleepy fondling--barely being able to feel the tingle as the babe suckled at her nipple in a gentle tranquility. 

<It's so hard to resist,>
<And it's all coming back to me.>

	She sat in the rocking chair, swaying back and forth as she hummed the rest of the tune, laying her head to rest on the chair's back--finding peace within the serenity of her daughter in her hug.

<I can barely recall,>
<But it's all coming back to me now.>
<But it's all coming back.>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

	*I know that song by heart,* Heero jotted down as he listened to his wife sing to his tiny beloved in the adjacent dorm, stopping for a moment just to hear her elegant vibrato dance upon the stillness of the hall and into his ears... the most passive sound his sentiment has ever heard and ever will hear.

<But if I touch you like this,>
<And if you kiss me like that,>
<It was so long ago,>
<But it's all coming back to me.>

	*I hear it every morn, every noon, every eve, during the twilight, like a haunting nocturne that chants to me my loss--forever waking within the recesses of my memory.  Oh why God... why...*

<If you touch me like this,>
<And if I kiss you like that,>
<It was gone with the wind,>
<But it's all coming back to me.>

	He was jolted from his sorrow as he heard the doorbell ring, and rose from his study to "greet" the visitor come to call.
	
	As he walked down the grand staircase and rounded the corner, he saw Duo already made his way inside--other than Zechs and Noin, Duo and Hilde were the only people Heero entrusted with a key to the estate--, leaning on the armchair and staring off into space upon Heero's arrival.  
	
	"Hey buddy, what's goin' on... you okay?" Duo asked him, trying to make the inquire seem causal and with a nonchalant connotation.
	
	"I'm fine Duo, just forget about it," Heero replied, turning his head away from his friend, then saying, "I took your suggestion about the journal."
	
	"Really?  I just threw that out to ya, hoping that you would at least do something, but I NEVER thought you'd actually take my advice," Duo said, almost a pride in his voice knowing the Perfect Soldier had actually listened to him for once.
	
	"Well, yeah.  Thanks for the idea and all, but I want to be alone... so leave," Heero countered him, the last part of his rejoinder dampened in a little venom as he spoke.

<There were moments of gold,>
<And there were flashes of light.>

	Just as Heero was about to bring himself in reclusive state upon trudging up the stairs, Duo called to him, "That's not necessarily why I'm here, Heero, not just to get thank you's.  I came by... to give you this."  
	
	It was a Mother's Day card, with Relena's name scrawled upon it in a calligraphic style, Heero instantly snatching it from his comrade's hands and forcing the card from its barrier.  It read: Mother's are a gift from God, whilst within her womb the angel's kissed her babe with tender grace, blessing her miracle with a gift of fortitude.  Immaculate Mary, shed your tear upon her brow, that she may know the tears she will shed for each memory of her infant, so gentle and mild."

<There were thing's we'd never do again,>
<But then they always seemed right.>

	"I know Mother's Day was over a month ago and all, but I thought it best to wait a little while before I gave it to you.  Besides, I thought it could work as a double for Father's Day tomorrow," Duo joked, the jester's grin plastered on his face.
	
	Clutching the note so tight, almost crushing it within his grip, Heero clenched his teeth while retreating into the kitchen, and said, "I'm not a father, so there's no reason for you to be here anymore.  Now just leave me alone... get out."
	
	"Sure Heero, whatever you say."  As Duo was about to shut the door behind him, he looked back and whispered, "Happy Father's Day Heero, whether you want to believe it or not," then left in silence.  

<There were nights of endless pleasure,>
<It was more than all your laws allow.>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

	Before Heero got to the kitchen, he heard Relena's voice coming from the top of the stairs, and his daughter's constant tears and now hoarse yowling, weeping because she wanted her daddy.

<Baby, baby, baby,>

	"It's all right, Malora, daddy's just in the garage working on a model of his Gundam," she murmured to the crying baby, lifting up the train of her gown as she did so.   "He'll be in in a few min... AHHHHHH!" she screamed, her shriek ripping through the quiet of the house and causing Heero to shutter violently--covering his ears and falling into a fetal ball on the floor, waiting for the inevitable to commence.  

<When you touch me like this,>
<And when you hold me like that,>
<It was gone with the wind,>
<But it's all coming back to me.>

	Stumbling on her hem, she fell forward with the fondling in her arms, twisting herself that hopefully she would hit the brunt of the marble rather than her daughter, and her body writhed and constricted as she rolled down the stairwell--Malora howling as she bashed her head on the edge of a step.  

<When I see you like this,>
<And when you see me like that,>

	A trail of blood marked their demise, a beautiful painting in crimson and sparkling tears that also stained their garments, and as they neared the finals steps, Relena's forehead hit the railing--a gash of puss and oozing meat falling from her temples, bruising her cream with purple's and flesh turned black and charred from the friction of oak on bone.  

<Then we see what we want to see,>
<All coming back to me,>

	With one last thud, she and the baby lay at the bottom of the stairs next to Heero, just lying there, lifeless with a puddle of scarlet the only warmth to penetrate the rigid ice of their bodies--their eyes glazed over and rolled into the back of their heads.  

<The flash and the fantasies,>
<All coming back to me,>

	His breath was harsh, and he gulped down the lump in his throat painfully--almost as if he was nauseous--, leaning on the rail so that he may stand and get to his feet, passing by the bodies without so much as a glance as he scaled the stairs--a task of what should have taken seconds, taking hours to reach the top of the case, slumping down into his chair.

<I can barely recall,>
<But it's all coming back to me now.>

	With a shaking hand, he connected the pen to the paper, and in solid black letters, wrote, *I'm going insane... I WILL go insane if the recurrence of the nightmare which soiled my life refuses to cease from replaying before me everyday of my miserable life!*

<If you forgive me all this,>
<If I forgive you all that,>
<We forgive and forget,>
<And it's all coming back to me.>

	Slowly, he turned his head to the stairs, and Relena's body along with his child's was gone, and then looking out the window of the study, he shut his eyes tightly, and whispered, "Happy Father's Day indeed."

<When you see me like this,>
<And when I see you like that,>
<We see just what we want to see,>
<All coming back to me,>
<The flesh and the fantasies,>
<All coming back to me.>
<I can barely recall, but it's all coming>
<Back to me, now.>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

	As Heero went back to his writing, a gentle breeze tossed the curtains of the nursery,

<And when you kiss me like this,>

and along with the descant of the bluebird who whistled her own serenade, 

<And when I touch you like that,>

came the murmur of a mother's voice and a child's cry, 

<And if you do it like this,>

"And although it's dark December, forever... I'll remember, sun..."

<And if we...>


AN: Ooohhhh, Relena and Malora were dead the whole time, and their death just kept reoccurring everyday... how morbid.  Anyway, please tell me what you think, and I hoped you liked it.  As for the words in the card, I made those up, so don't go looking to find a card that actually says that in there... as if it's beautiful enough to put in an actual card.  Thanks everyone.