Monday, 29th December 2003

Life sux.. Someone is using my blog to insult me but not daring to come forth to tell me who he is... I assume it is a he because a girl won't be capable of such vicious words.. Anyway I'm very pissed and sian diao.. Am thinking of removing my tag... or my blog altogether. 

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Finally can come online... Yesterday I went online and the internet connection disconnected itself like ten times before I gave up.. My comp is dying on me.. Can just envision the day when I turn it on and there's nothing at all.. all blank. Must transfer my stuff onto my dad's portable hard disk before it's too late... Sigh.. I have yet to d/l kazaa lite.. there are so many songs I want to d/l! So many songs I have heard and want to hear more of ever since I went aust... 

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Today my parents brought me to my sis's future school: St Nick's.. It's very big there.. but a little childish as there are a lot of cartoon pictures around... even the rubbish bin was very adorable as it was in the shape of a dolphin.. I was hugging it (coz it looked so cute.. dun puke) and my sis joked that it is my bf haha... Then we went Snow City... The place was unbelievably small, it only had a 3-storey slide, a small playground in the shape of a boat, a snowman and a miniature igloo... It was below freezing point inside, much colder than at Melbourne... My hands had frostbite and they were painful even when I tried to move them. But overall it was quite fun lah.. especially the slide... My sis and I locked hands and slide down... Quite exciting.. especially when the tubes we sat on changed direction.. but it wasn't as scary as the big swing at Ace-hi.. haha... And I had always thought snow would be soft and fluffy and all that.. I was wrong! I fell down two times today on the cold, hard snow.. and it really hurt... And the second time pple were laughing some more.. Hmph... We went Science Centre next... 

When I reached home, I went for a really invigorating swim... My mum bought me a two piece swimsuit from IMM which till now still makes me really embarrassed.. I was so paiseh that I had to ask my sis to stand beside the pool and open my bathrobe for me to slip inside so that pple wouldn't see my "bikini".. It covers a lot lah.. but it's still embarrassing... 

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School is starting in 4 days! Arghh! Only 4 more days of freedom... I dread next year.. Really dread it. With SAT on 24 Jan, countless tests when we go back to school (physics confirm.. chem not yet cfm)... A levels coming up... I really don't feel like going back.. Yah I have true friends there, and classmates who are really supportive.. but the academic aspect of it still makes me sick... First time I hate going to school so much... Was thinking in the bathroom just now... tot of these wise words: If you think the worse of everything, the worse will materialise in front of your eyes.. guess it relates to the pastoral care talk we had a few months ago.. What you think affects your behaviour affects what happens to you... Hai.. So I should adopt a positive and open attitude shouldn't I? But it's hard... esp when I can see almost nothing positive abt going back to school. Do I really look forward to seeing the 04S63 juniors? Not really... As I know most of them will come from a particular school.. ahem.. not that I have anything against that school.. Do I look forward to increased CCA commitments? Not really.. Coz I have zero leadership skills.. I can only organize, not lead... a good follower but not a leader... Do I look forward to the uncertainty of not getting 2 S papers.. or the stress that comes with 2? obviously not.. I refuse to talk abt it too... Hope someone out there shares my anxiety as well... I really dun feel like going back. 

~me~ dreading the future at 8:50 PM

Sunday, 28th December 2003

Hai.. all the photos I took at Pan Pacific Hotel and Toa Payoh care corner with my dad's camera are gone! Apparently someone accidentally set the format to something that deletes the photos whenever they are taken.. so my dad was damn shocked when he turned on the camera today and saw all the photos gone.. And he had not uploaded them on the comp some more.. haiz... Sianz.. I promised so many pple photos.. Now have to apologise to them liao... I feel very sad, like something's missing inside... Guess it feels bad when those photos are my xin1 xue4 and then they are just gone in an instant.. without ever a chance to see them again... When my memories fade, what will be left to remind me of what happened? Haiz... 

Shall trust the old and faithful analog cameras from now on.. it is expensive.. but at least they won't be gone unless I drop the camera... Won't blame anyone for it lah.. coz it's my own carelessness that caused it. 

~me~ feeling terrible at 10:35 PM 

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New year is coming in 4 days! I am apprehensive yet again... still no mood to do my homework.. dun ask me why... Sighz... Wish my king of hearts will appear soon.... 

Had previously posted a blog.. but deleted it due to its very personal contents... 

~me~ posting a short blog at 2.59 PM

Saturday, 27th December 2003

Wanted to blog yesterday but coz I came home too late, I wasn't able to. Sigh... Quite a lot of things happened yesterday. First I went to watch Infernal Affairs 3... Never watched such a totally crappy movie before! For pple who watched the first two episodes.. or either one of the first episodes... pls do not go watch it. It is very confusing, has no climax whatsoever.. and has a lot of extraded pple who play no role to the storyline at all.. for eg: Leon Lai. Was quite disappointed when I watched it... Wanted to leave a good impression of the Infernal Affairs movies.. but unfortunately wasn't able to...

Toa Payoh Care Corner's Xmas party went well.. The kids were all adorned in their best outfits... The part when Chi Yuan acted as Santa Claus was very funny.. Haha.. think he really fits the role, except for the fact that he doesn't have a bulging stomach of coz... Haha... I took my dad's digital camera and lent to the kids.. and they progressively took a lot of photos.. I had to follow them around coz I was scared they will spoil it haha... I took many photos for pple but din't exactly take for myself... Then when I finally had photos of myself, they were lost! So diao lor.. hai.. made me so upset... Nvm... I'm getting the photos frm ter now.. Anyway, I just hope my dad will help me upload the photos to his comp soon, still have to depend on his mood...

Speaking of his mood.. haiz.. I went out with Ner and Aili after tpcc yesterday to mos burger to drink.. then we talked quite a bit and when I went home it was already 11.45 PM. Understandably, my parents were very worried and pissed. So now, I am grounded. Can't go anywhere at all except for stay at home. Sian.. And a lot of pple have asked me out next week lor.. Now I can't go anywhere. Stuck here. With only my homework for company...They limit my internet usage too. :(

~me~ feeling sian at 2.23 PM

Tuesday, 23rd December 2003

I suspect I really have manic depression. Was talking very loudly and very hyper in the evening... with increased fluency in speech and all that... I am not usually this assertive.. But when I left Tpcc I was feeling very down... coz I thought of something... Sighz.. I think I am drifting away from some people... i somehow feel the distance very acutely today.. pple that I could once talk a lot to... now seem to have nothing to talk to me about. Or maybe I am just being sensitive, i don't know. But going away from Singapore for 18 days is a long time... plus the fact that I no longer go on msn at night coz I am trying very hard to finish my hw.. all these make me very detached, from my friends and everything. Also I realised how my conversation topics can be so narrow.. always revolving around the same few pple.. like there is nothing else on my mind... I don't want to bore my friends, really. But maybe I think that the only way I can get attention is to act like I'm boy-crazy.. sounds a little like serene I think... guess it gets irritating after a while... 

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Or maybe, I am just rambling nonsensically. You know like the Chinese phrase wu2 bing4 shen1 ying2... Sighz.

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Blogs are scary things.. even Qi Shan saw my old blog and asked me who the guy I liked was. God... I wonder whether what I write will REALLY offend some pple.. 

~me~ feeling down at 10:17 PM

Monday, 22nd December 2003

Woke up in the wee hours of the morning for Photog workshop today... when I only slept at 4 last night.. Almost died. But thank goodness the professional who conducted it was really interesting.. He taught us a lot of things.. like the different ways of holding a camera, depth of view, shutter speeds, and the 5 types of compositions.. i think I learnt more from today's workshop than everything I have gleaned from random lessons this year. If only he could come to teach us on a regular basis... I just realised that I don't know enough... And some of my photos still have obvious composition probs like cutting off things and stuff.... We tried experimenting with some shots today... and one of my fren took a pic of chi yuan looking at him... haha.. he's so hard-working.. studying in sch with a grp of pple in the morning... Anyway, the only decent photo I took was behind a net (again!) of this grp of pple playing basketballs.. I came to the conclusion that the only good photos I take are behind a net.. very diao but i think it's true lor... 

Tomorrow we are going to Botanic Gardens.. looking forward to it.. coz i'm going to try things that I have never done before.. like taking close up pics of flowers for the first time... interesting. 

I spent 20 bucks buying lithium batteries for the camera I bought to oasis and now mdm ching refuses to pay me for it.. sianz... :( 

~me~ at 6.28 PM

Sunday, 21th December 2003

Went for band concert today... Must comment on a few things.. 1) SBS Transit sux.. esp in poor weather conditions like heavy rain.. Imagine this.. I went to the orchard boulevard bus stop at 6.30 PM, and waited all the way until 7.15 PM... In heavy rain. Worst thing was, I tried to flag for a taxi and was extremely unsuccessful. Then this woman just stood in front of me and immediately a taxi came to her. Fine... Missed a full 40 minutes of the show.. Suddenly realised why I so hate being late. 2) Band concert was very nice.. I heard a lot of familiar tunes... like the Titanic Medley, Abba songs, Xmas carols, love ballads like Can you feel the love tonight and first love etc.. I really love the sound of the xylophone and windchimes.. Sounds so heavenly and sparkling... And I thought the band was really suitable for playing the titanic.. It gave this majestic feeling that reminds me of the sea.. and the gigantic ship that sank into the ocean. 3) Saw a few pple that I didn't really expect to see... wen yang and jac and her ahem... Haha... Sorry hor wen yang and candice.. (if u guys r reading).. Didn't know that I will see u guys so I never brought my souvenirs.. Will remember the next time I see you all :)

Tomorrow (or is it today?) is another very busy day ahead... I'm going to support choir's caroling! Then in the evening I'm going out with Ner, Aili, Renna and Zhi Ying.. I miss Aili.. Haven't seen her for such a long long time....

I'm in a dilemma... The oasis pple are organising an outing on Tuesday to support Li Hao's carolling.. but I already am going tmr and I aren't very close to them.. hmm.. Then I may still want to go for Toa Payoh Care Corner coz it's like the second last time... but will I be quite anti if I don't go for the oasis thing? And I miss pple like Ming Jun, Hui qi and Jing wen.. Don't know lah.. Just sent this e-mail to this yahoo group of Zhe Han, Ming Jun and my Malaysian friends telling them what I feel abt love.. Haha... first time I will write this kind of stuff... 

~me~ at 2.08 AM

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Trying to kill my urge of wanting to on internet now.. So I’m writing my blog entry on paper first. I told my dad I will be home at 7 something but came home at 10 something. Now he absolutely refuses to talk to me. Hai…

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Went to watch choir caroling this afternoon. I think they sang really well.. Duh haha. As in the SATB really harmonize into a melodious whole. Really admire guys who can sing well.. Think they sound very nice. Anyway I like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer and jingle bell rocks best.. When they sang this sang called It’s the hap-hap-happiest season I was grinning all the way.. Private joke I share with ner.. nvm. Anyway after their performance I was going around making pple order my oasis photos. The response turned out to be not bad.. Almost everyone wanted some photos… Out of my 7 albums. Hey pple if you want to see my photos just tag me k.. I will bring when I next see you.

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Then after that Ner and I met Aili and Renna for dinner. It’s so nice seeing Aili again after so long. I miss her bubbly presence, her unique sense of humour, her teasings… Haha. Anyway, it’s good that after so long we still have a lot of things to talk abt. That’s why we stayed from 5 to 9 something.. partly coz we were talking and laughing.. partly coz we ordered too much and didn’t have money to pay… Then Aili had to withdraw money.. Oops haha. Really hope for more gatherings like this… hope that I can stay as long as I like w/o my dad hounding me to come home.. Haiz.

 ~me~ sighing at 11:15 PM

Friday, 19th December 2003

Finally I have a chance to write in my blog again.. reflecting on everything I have done. I am still not used to coming back to Singapore.. yes.. even now. Not used to waking up so late.. not used to not talking to Ming Jun late into the night.. Not used to the hot weather.. the absence of flies.. Not used to the lack of scenery whenever I awake.. (there is a wonderful dining hall and lots of trees at trinity college).. Not used to not hearing the laughter.. and chatter.. of all the wonderful and marvelous friends I made there. Not that I hate Singapore.. but there's so much work I have to do.. so many commitments.. so many things to attend... so little time.. so many tests to study for.. Guess i still miss melbourne.. where I can be carefree and relaxed.. even though I had my ups and downs there.. 

~me~ feeling confused at 9.39 PM

Tuesday, 16th December 2003

Hi pple! I am back! After an ultra-long absence... Going to Melbourne had given me bittersweet memories, filled with its ups and downs, joys and sadness. In fact, I am still not used to coming back to Singapore yet. But well, life has to go on... Now I will attempt to write down excerpts of my personal diary here (some really personal things will be omitted)... abt almost every day of my life in Melbourne... Sorry to pple reading my blog k.. i couldn't update it as I dun have frontpage in Trinity College... So be prepared for a rollercoaster ride of my adventure and experiences...

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Day 2: 29th November 2003

Trying to get some sense of normalcy now.. listening to qing tian to make me feel better. I had been horrified ever since I stepped onto the aeroplane yesterday. This trip rep many firsts for me... First time embarking on such a long trip. First time I have ever travelled so far away. ever as I was boarding the plane, an inner timid part of me is screaming.. No!

I didn't help matters that we arrived at 9 at night and ate dinner at 11-12 midnight (Melbourne time). The hostel wasn't as self-sufficient as I thought it will be too... The hostel building was made of red bricks, which is reminiscent of the Victorian times. We had single rooms.. and my room had this chimney which was super freaky. i didn't feel any sense of belonging at all, prob becoz I had never ever slept alone before. Besides, the Oasis pple on my level weren't exactly close to me, so I was left quite alone. In the end, I went up to Ming Jun's room and shared a bed with her. At least I feel more cosy there. 

In the morning, when the buildings could be seen clearly, I found that the scenery was breathtaking. There was a lush green field surrounded by four Victorian buildings -- a chapel, our hostel, the teachers' hostel and the dining hall. I took some photos (shall upload them someday). Anyway, the dining hall reminded me of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movie.

We did some shopping at Smith's Street in the late morning and early afternoon. There were a lot of factory outlet stores of surf wear.. but  many were simply too "X" for us. Chee yang, Ter and I ended up buying some shirts for a few classmates.. Not sure if they will like them though. The guys did more shopping than Ming Jun and I, surprisingly. 

In the afternoon, we went to this amusement park called Luna Park. We took many rides there and tried on some rollercoasters with continuous humps.. Reall scary. Hui qi lost her hp there and she got very upset. We went Chinatown to eat dinner. I got fish congee which cost $6.50! Super X.. and I couldn't even finish. After that we bought some souvenirs at this Aust souvenir shop, but we only discovered the next day that got cheated of our money as we paid $10 for 6 keychains while they only sold $10 for 10 keychains in Queen Victoria Market. 

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Day 3: 30th November 2003

Today we walked to Queen Victoria Market, this gigantic place in Melbourne reputed to sell many things at cheap bargains. We saw this chocolates and nougats shop that sold really delicious chocolates, some of them even had coffee beans inside. Then after looking at many souvenirs we decided to walk through many streets to look at Yarra River. We saw this chocolate shop called Darrel Lea which sold really cheap and exquisite chocolate (at $3 for 100g). We also saw many architecturally-perfect buildings and a chapel. After wchih, we took a boat ride along Yarra River and saw really nice scenery. At night, we ate dinner at this Jap restaurant. As Ter, Ming Jun and I had no money, we bought this sushi box to share between the three of us, and since we had a lot of time, we decided to eat grain by grain and even took a video that recorded how we eat. It was really hilarious. After dinner, we looked at this building spouting fire near the exhibition centre. It was really spectacular but my film was left with only one shot, and I accidentally took it when the fire was down.. Sad.

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Day 4: 1st December 2003

Today had been an OK but not-so-wonderful day for me. Played soccer with many pple from all over the world and was a slack goalie half the time. Supposedly made some pretty good saves but I couldn't kick for nuts.. Haha. When I actually got on the field and played I was kicked by this guy with a red jersey and ended up with this gigantic ugly bruise. It still won't go away for now, even when I applied ice to it. I later got to find out that the guy who kicked me is my mentor from Summer school called Alastor. My group consisted of various pple from India, Melbourne and Malaysia. It was wonderful to make friends with pple from diff countries and experience a unique mixture of cultures.

Played the usual games like Wacko and the hand-entangling thing, where pple held hands with others from the same group and tried to get it all tangled up slowly before slowly untangling themselves to form a circle. Then a few groups combined to play this really fun game that I had never played before. The person at the centre is supposed to say, "Honey if you love me, please give me a smile." while the receiving end will go, "Honey I love you too, but I just can't give you a smile." while trying their best not to smile. As to who is at the receiving end, it depends on where the pen points when it stops rotating. What is fun, I guess, is not the game itself, but how pple try all meas and ways to make pple smile. Really very funny. There was this Indian shuai ge called Arjun who was really good at soccer who tried to make me smile but coz the way he did it was quite exaggerated, I ended up being a little disgusted and never smiled. I was quite good, could maintain not smiling unless someone does something really stupid, like jump up and down (in S'pore workout style) and say Honey I love you... That will make me laugh non-stop, and that was what this Caucasian did.

Played Hearts with pple just now.. ended up so exhausted. I kept taking the Queen of Spades. For pple who know how to play hearts you should understand how stupid it is.. Anw heard a lot of nice songs in the boys' room. I miss Chinese songs so much! 

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Day 5: 2nd December 2003

I had my first lectures today and found them very insightful and enriching. For physics we learnt about the different properties of the electromagnetic waves and for chemistry, we learnt the chemistry of colours and certain things that I had never learnt before like conjugated molecules. I like the way they have lectures here, especially the way in which they did many interesting experiments to explain difficult concepts. The best by far today was the "hair-raising" experience of one of the students Laura, in which the she did this experiment in which the electric charges of her hair repelled each other and sort of made her hair "stand up". The formal dinner was really cool too, got to see everybody in their formal attire, which made them look really glamorous. I got to know some members of my group a lot better during the formal dinner, talking about the movies we watched and all. It was really wonderful to know people from all over the world. We went out to Lygon's Street for ice cream after dinner, and had a really fun time. I shared a three-scoop ice cream with my groupmate, Shio Yen and had the most delicious ice cream I had ever eaten. We also enjoyed ourselves taking photos and dancing to the music that the Indians were singing.

However I admit, Ming Jun and I haven't made much of an effort to mix around, and that's bad. Both of us are the type who need to socialise. But for some reason, we just couldn't click with the Hc group of pple. I thought the whole point of coming to Oasis is to mix with pple from all over the world, and not to stay with our own clique. I guess we were being a bit anti today.. or was it them? It's like for the Lygon's street trip.. all the Hc pple stayed behind at the hostel except me, Ming Jun andZhe Han. Then when we came back to the hostel, we saw thie whole bunch of Hc pple sitting on the bed telling lame jokes. Maybe it was because we didn't really mix around with the Hc pple that made us more determined to mix with other pple. I don't know.. the Hc pple are really nice.. but we just don't really click. It was hard to fake that I click and become part of them, coz the fact is I just am not. Something is missing that connects me with the rest of the pple, like how they exclude us from their common jokes (some elephant joke thing) and by setting up this imperial family, while the rest of the pple just try to centre around them. 

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Day 6: 3rd December 2003 

The maths lecture and Physics lecture today were really interesting. I had thought that the Maths lecture will be dry and boring, but it was about cryptography, one area of Mathematics that I had always wanted to explore. As for Physics, the experiments that they did really amused us. The lab sessions were wonderful as well. I used a lot of equipments I had never seen before, like the Geigar-muller counter.

Went exploring today.. discovered we could use the library comp in our spare time. Played bluff with Ming Jun, Jing Wen and Hui qi... It was really fun. Went sightseeing at what they planned for us -- Melbourne Discovery. Bunched together with my Malaysian friend Shio Yen and my Melbourne fren Nguyen. It was nice mixing with girls from other countries. 

Anyway I joined the Hc pple at the arcade and we bought $2.80 tickets for DDR. And when we finally wanted to dance it, we had to go.. so wasted. I was quite sian coz of that lor.

Heard Jacky playing piano at the dining hall just now. He really freaked us out coz he was playing the same song as what we heard the first night we came. It was pitch black in the dining hall and I couldn't see his silhouette well. And when I called to ask who he was he didn't answer. But I was really impressed that he knew how to play the piano so well. Then I played for pple -- Canon in D and Marriage D'amour. Winnie (this Aust girl) and these two Malaysian guys came in. Didn't know winnie could play the piano. She played Chopin's Nocturne No. 1, and played it so well that I thought heer diploma was well-deserved. I had always thought she was the playing kind, so was quite shocked when I found out.

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Day 7: 4th December 2003

Sat with Terence during genetics lecture today, we ended up finding that we didn't understand genetics and started drawing ourselves in his notebook. The second lecture was about malaria, which got me really hooked on the topic. I guess it is partly because I no longer learn biology that I find it fun to be exposed to it again. I was really interested in the function of choloroplast in malaria lor

Practical lessons was frankly speaking.. OK. I have used this kind of equipments before. Furthermore, it doesn't encourage a lot of thinking skills, just merely following instructions blindly. 

At night we had the traditional Australia bush dance at the dining hall. It was an eye-opener because I have never danced anything like this before. I paired up with  Terence, and we had a lot of fun dancing the steps and swirling around. For the first time I felt confident about dancing because the steps were really easy to learn.

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Day 8: 5th December 2003

Today we had a geomatics lecture.. about global positioning system (GPS).. 4 of us in the group had to stay in the computer labs and 4 of us had to go out on the field, and we had to guide them using walkie-talkies. The reception was really poor and we could not get to those outside most of the time, but they found their way without our guidance.. Cool!

The trip to ace-hi ranch was really nice.. both literally and figuratively. We had to take a 2-hour bus ride before the ferry ride, which gave us the chance to see really wonderful scenery. Was standing there singing with Ming Jun, Jing wen and Xuan wei. Then when we went to the ranch, I was wowed over. All I could see were neverending hills of lush green, with horses frolicking in the distance. The scenery was breathtaking and really awesome. 

After dinner, we came back to take many photos (while the sun was setting) and when we climbed over the hills there was dried cow dung everywhere. THen when Ming Jun and I drifted off to look at horses grazing peacefully, Ter came to join us. He led us around and helped us look out for hotspots of "cow dung" while the rest of the pple just went away. We sat on the hill and looked a the horses for a long time. Wet sat on a hill and looked at horses for a long time, enjoying the serenity of nature around us. The temperature felt like sub-zero degrees, and the wind was cutting through ur jackets, but we just sat there. If i could bring someone to share that moment with me, it would be my sis, coz she is the most important person to me right now. 

Mixing with pple from other countries is really fun. Throughout this oasis, i have found the Malaysians really frank and honest, the Australians really funny, the Indians really fun. But mixing with the hc group was not really that great. The teachers practice favouritism on selected groups of students. The only good friends there, among the girls, are Ming Jun, Jing Wen, Hui Qi and maybe Xuan Wei. Sometimes I feel really lost and close to tears, but I don't want to burden pple into worrying about me, esp my good friends.

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Day 9: 6th December 2003

It's not supposed to feel like that.. It really isn't. Xuan wei was crying today, coz she feels ostra.. Actually I feel so much worse off than her, like I am totally detached from the Hc group. Really hope she feels better. I wonder why this oasis is turning into this major clique vs external pple thing. Really envy pple which have the whole group mixing very well, esp the Malaysians.

Today's our 2nd day at Ace-Hi Ranch. Kinda sad coz I didn't get to ride a horse as I was taking a camera then... we went to the beach and I was walking in the shallow waters with Shio Yen, taking in the wind and  talking. it was a really calm and nice atmosphere. Then after that we went to this place called Mushroom Reef (which was a little like Chek Jawa) to study marine biology. Saw a lot of mollusks, sea stars and anemones there. Took a lot of photos as well.

After dinner, while playing beach volleyball, Ming Jun and I walked off to the plains, saw this playground with something that had a few high steps and went all the way up. We talked and sang and made our own "sort of" mtvs.. until the sun set. It was absolutely beautiful.. The golden raysof the sun sunk lower and lower into the horizon, gently replaced by soft hues of baby pink, purple, blue. Pity I didn't have a camera with me then. 

Just went to see the sky dotter with stars in freezing weather. I had really wanted to lie under the canopy of stars all night, but the cold weather prevented me from doing it. I could see the Orion's belt, Saturn, the Moon and venus. And some shooting stars... I made a wish (and eventually got it in the end.) 

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Day 10: 7th december 2003

Today had been a dream, really. First time I tried on so many things and had so much fun. I missed the sunrise, but nvm. Anyway the day started with a horse ride around the open plains. i was really scared I would fall of the horse, esp coz my horse Anna is really tall and when it trotted I almost fell of my seat, but I held on to the saddle for dear life. My horse was quite adventurous, loved to run out of line and all the way in front, but I guess that was what made it fun. Find the horse's personality really similar to me.. haha. It's very greedy, stopping to eat grass and flowers along the way and it doesn't follow the leader or crowd, just like how non-conformist I am. Then I tried archery again, and bet with my fren Nguyen that whoever couldn't hit the bull's eye would have to treat the other to chocolate. In the end, I did really lousily and hit the second outermost circle -- the blue circle once while she hit it wtice. Guess I have to treat her to choc then. I didn't do so well as last time when I did it at ITE, prob coz there was no shuai ge to patiently teach me.

Tried flying fox too.. had expected it to be really scary but it was nothing. There was this giant swing that pulled you all the way up to 55 feet high and let you drop down and swing up and down. That one was nerve-wrecking. I was pondering abt whether to take it for a long time coz it looked really frightening. In the end, I took it only our of the urgings of my fren. But I only went halfway up. The fall down was exhilaratingly fun and really quick. It's ten times worse than being on a viking. I was screaming my head off but when I came out of it I was so ecstatic that I wanted to take it again...

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Day 11: 8th December 2003

Today we had physics lecture abt optometry, how the eye views things and stuff. Learnt a lot of things from the Q & A session. But the genetics lecture sucked.. It was something abt Menke's Disease and I couldn't follow through in the end because the lecture was talking abt very technical stuff.

Bio practical was fun. I got to befriend this pretty Maldives girl called Midhu and we took turns to look into each other's eyes.  It is actually quite disgusting to look at someone's eyes so close up haha.. Then we got to dissect a cow's eye. I fond it quite disgusting at first, all the red and squishy muscles and all.. And I was quite bad at cutting. Thank goodness the prof there helped me cut. The epithelial of the eye was a bluish-green opan colour, which was so pretty.. and we took out the lens. It was very small and cute and we used it to focus on words on stuff. I also learnt abt cataracts, which Daddy used to have. Apparently, the lens of his eyes got cloudy and blurred as the years went by.. And he needed to go for this operation to fit in a new plastic lens. But the lens was inferior compared to the natural one because it could not adjust by expanding and contracting. Anyway coz my dad had short-sightedness it was corrected by the op. Then now he can't read things that are near and need glasses. Now I finally understand why he has lao hua yan. I think the eye is actually very interesting.

At night we went to this sci museum called Sciworks and "experienced" the earthquake, tidal wind, tried seeing how high we could jump and went to this house of secrets to take lots of photos. It was quite fun, but when I tried on basketballs, I totally failed at throwing any in. 

Anyway the best therapy for a broken heart: Writing diary while listening to jay chou songs. 

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Day 12: 9th December 2003

--void-- No mood to write. Don't ask why.

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Day 13: 10th December 2003

I went to the industry visit today. It was supposedly about OptiScan, which I thought was related to Optometry and the eye. In the end, it turned out to be about optic fibres and total internal reflection. Maybe as I was not really interested in the field, I was a little bored by it. In the afternoon, we went to Bridge Road to do some shopping. I did not buy anything except for this white formal top that cost me only 10 dollars. At night, we went to Victoria Market once again. I had planned on buying some souvenirs for my friends, but things were either too expensive, or not appealing. In the end, I only winded up buying a few small things. I hope they like why I bought though.

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Day 14: 11th December 2003

Today we went to the Melbourne Zoo in the afternoon and I was very delighted to see many animals unique to Australia, like certain types of snakes, kangaroos, wallabies, wombats and koalas. I liked the walk through the aviary too as I tried to spot all the birds on display there, and saw many beautiful birds with blue beaks. At night we went to watch this musical performance called "We will rock you". It was good, but I did not get many of the jokes that they said because they are only applicable to the Australian context. However I was really impressed by the brilliant display of technology as they used laser to show computer and television screens on the theatre. That is unlike the normal musicals that I watch in which the actors have to undertake the entire burden of entertaining the audience. Many of my schoolmates looked stunning in the formal outfits that they wore to the concert, and I felt mine paled in comparison. Haha...

Something happened. I don't want to talk abt it. Anyway to whoever it may concern... Guess I just wanna tell u that I hope we can remain good friends forever, coz I really value the friendship. And I'm sure you do too :) 

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Day 15: 12th December 2003

In the afternoon we had a talk by a Nobel laureate called Peter Doherty. After which, we had to think of ways to making the world more sustainable. I said some crap about globalization. In the end, I found out that it all boils down to education, especially for the poorer people so that they can break out of their poverty cycle.

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Day 16: 13th December 2003

Today is the official last day of the summer school. i feel so sad.. I will miss all the overseas friends I made here lor.. and will remember them forever. The Malaysians are really wonderful pple. I somehow feel that I can click much much better with them than the hc pple. Maybe it's because I didn't make an effort to try.. Oh well...

In the afternoon we had presentations on our indiv research projects that we had been working on for a long time. Everyone in my group took turns to stand in front of everyone and present what they have found. Shio Yen, Nguyen and Li Hao made really interesting presentations, compared to mine, when I just read off from my script. Guess I did slipshot work lah.. that's why they never chose me in the end as the best project in the group. But nvm.. Shio yen's presentation on genetic engineering was really insightful and comprehensive. I was quite impressed by Zhe Han too. He thought up an entire computer system thing himself.. and even wrote out a 15 pages description! But he wasn't the overall winner in the end...sad.

Formal dinner tonight was OK, at least it was edible and filling, better than lunch. Many pple wore really gorgeous dresses. Guess it is the first time I saw so many pple formally dressed up. Shio Yen and Sri were wearing their ethnic costumes, Baju Kurong and Sari respectively. That was so cool!

The cert presentation came next, followed by the performances of the cultural items. Our Hc group performed Wild Wild West and I danced the steps perfectly. For the first time!!! Yay! Think we looked quite cool jerking our butts haha. The other countries' performances were really delightful to watch... They sang love ballads and performed cultural dances.

But the best part of the whole night was the disco dance that followed. I jus totally lost myself in the music and danced freely, like how i always do at home. Thankfully, i had a bunch of pple, mostly Malaysian friends, who didn't mind being as wild as me. i really enjoyed myself, shaking with the beat, putting my hands up in the air, doing lots of crazy stuff.. It's the first time I could actually find a whole grp of pple to dance with me. 

The whole grp of us, including me, Ming Jun and Zhe Han, went to Shio Yen's room later to talk. we talked until abt 2 something in the morning. Suddenly I had the feeling of CAP (creative arts programme) camp coming back.. when the whole grp of us.. a few girls and 2 guys, just sat around to play truth or dare. I am really glad that I have met the Malaysians actually. The are likethe nicest pple I have met and I will REALLY miss them when they go off tmr. Just now Li Hao said something very true.. "Good things will stay in your memory forever." coz I told her I needed a camera as I was scared I will forget. I guess I will always remember the days at Ace-Hi Ranch, where we climbed up the hills, saw heavenly scenery and watched sunset together. It was just the three of us, Ming Jun, Ter and I. And the world seemed so pure and innocent then. But the world is not static and I have to move on, and accept that some things will never the same again.

~

Day 17: 14th December 2003

Twp weeks can really change a person's character. Put into a strange and totally new envir for the first time, it is up to the indiv to choose how he or she wants to interact with pple, coz now, all the social inhibitions, or whatever is pulling pple back, are lost. I am glad that I have chosen to mix with the Malaysians. They are all very nice, friendly pple, cheerful, hardworking and very easy to mix with. And they all have dreams, know what they want to achieve and what they can to do achieve what they want. Today morning we went to Great Ocean Road, the tourist attraction I will touch on later. Even though the Malaysians did not need to wake up so early, many of them woke up at around 7 just to see us off. They themselves are leaving on a plane this very day, and I feel sad and inadequate at my inability to send them off. My friend Shio Yen even woke up early to help me tie a braid, my first in my entire life...

Great Ocean Road is really a fabulous tourist attraction. It is the first time I see the ocean so blue, the waves so huge, the sea seems to join with the sky at the horizon, and the sea seems so clear and sparkling with life. Words cannot describe my awe and amazement at the beautiful scenery, in fact, nothing can. I can only try my best to capture them with my feeble camera. Anyway, saw some horses by the seaside facing the ocean.. That is my dream house man. I hope to live there after I retire. We went to places like the 12 apostles, which consisted of several interesting rock formations, the London bridge which consisted of this arch-like thing in the sea, a gorge and so many more.. Never ever had a chance to see such majestic scenery before. when we went back, I saw the Melbourne city teeming with life as the lights shone from every house, every building. It was an interesting sight. 

Our friend, Su Ann, called our hostel room tonight. Ming Jun and I took turns talking to her on the phone.. It was so fun! After that Ming Jun did for me some fortune-telling which made me realise many things and finally resolute to give up on things that are not meant to be.

~

Last day: 15th December 2003

Today morning, Ming Jun, Ter and I went to the Crowne arcade again to play finish teh cards we bought last time. We also bought this card from Zhe Han coz he was not going. Anyway we each played DDR twice.. It was so fun! And a good way to exercise too. Then I went to play this shooting game and got 17 tickets out of th game. Quite impressed with my arcade shooting skills actually. At least it is better than my archery. I claimed this toy in the arcade which I am still deliberating who to give to.

Finally, i am going home. I was melancholic the whole day because I could not bear to leave Melbourne. The weather, the hostel Behan, my beloved room, the often tasteless and always expensive food, even the flies.. Trinity College had become like a second home, my friends had become my family and I really could not bear leaving the place. Yes, i miss my friends and family, but my feelings are really conflicting. These two weeks had been a wonderful learning experience. I learnt many life lessons I could not have picked up elsewhere, became more independent to a certain extent, saw many different kinds of pple and widened my horizons.. Also I tried many things I would not have gotten chance to try in Singapore and saw wonderful scenery far beyond my imagination. I also got to know pple a lot better. Zhe Han, Ming Jun, Ter, Chee yang, Jing Wen, Hui qi, Li Hao.. I got the see the other parts of their character. Be it good or bad, I am glad I am given this chance to know so many pple much better. For Zhe Han, for example, i totally changed my impression of him. He is actually a very nice guy, always helping us take stuff, waking us up in the morning to lead Ming Jun and I to 7-elevens, helping me out at the mushroom reef where it was very hard to walk I was going to fall every moment.. For everyone, there are so many things, so many memories. I can still remember the first day perfectly clearly. Never was I to expect that my life will be so different after this experience. The summer school had enriched me, in so many ways, and hopefully made me more mature.. The friends I made too... i miss each one of them.  They had all played a part in making this trip so wonderful... My malaysian friends.. Shio Yen, Mandy, Su Ann, Seok Ling, Catherine, Michelle, Alvin, Calvin.. My Melbourne friends... Nguyen, Jessica, Lee Ann, Alicia... I will miss them when they are gone, esp Catherine. She lives just right opp us and I am so used to seeing her face and talking to her every morn.. ever night, so used to having her come over to our room and talk. Today Su Ann went to the airport to send us off. I was so guilty I didn't buy any souvenirs for her, so I tore open the safety sticker on my luggage and passed her a lucky bracelet that I bought. Was very touched coz she specially came down from her work just so see us off.

Goodbye Melbourne.. Goodbye my friends. Yes I will remember all these things forever, all the delightful memories you all gave me had been etched in a permanent spot in my mind.. to stay with me wherever I go.

~

finally finished my diary entry.. so tired now my fingers are going to fall off soon... anyway I am going to link to my photo album.. where I will upload my nice photos... erm.. not many for now coz they are still not developed yet.. Check my links for the web address.

~me~ feeling exhausted at 3.54 PM

Thursday, 26th November 2003

Going for oasis tomorrow! I'm filled with excitement and apprehension. It is the first time I am going so far away.. And for so long some more.. 18 days!.. What if I get bored? Haha.. I bought this cd pouch and pushed 12 cds inside liao.. just so that I got things to do.. plus i brought all my hw there.. but haven't started yet of coz... haha.. 

Let me see what I will miss there..

1) My family.. 

2) My frens (Pple u noe who you are.. dun have to elaborate.. I will miss all of you here reading my blog.. :)

3) My computer and internet!

4) My bed and my nice soft toys... 

5) TV and all the drama serials I will miss.. like Love Patzzi and Westside story.. 

Just went to exercise at 10.30 at night.. Need to be thinner so that I can fit into my jeans haha... Going off now.. bye pple~

~me~ going to bathe at 11.38 PM

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Hey pple this is the picture of my grandmother taken by the centenarian photographer -- Brenda! Yay... give ur comments k.. my grandmother had no specs haha...

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Wow.. just read a nice and touching e-mail from Wini.. Thanks so much! :) Haha.. glad to know that there are pple who care.. Yupyup.. I shall cheer up and be happy! :)

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SAT results --> 1370. Am totally devastated. Did not even reach my goal of 1400. I didn't study hard enough. I know. But what pains me most is the fact that I wasted my parents' money. 

~me~ feeling guilty at 9.33 AM

Wednesday, 25th November 2003

Woke up at 1 pm today.. Prob the only day during this hols that I have ever woken up so late... Yesterday was quite a fulfilling day, but I just didn't feel like blogging, so here I am now.. recalling what happened yesterday.

~

No I didn't go for Matrix Rev, my parents brought me to the temple instead. Am starting to wonder when I will ever watch the third installment of matrix.. maybe they have it on the SIA flight.. haha.. Anyway my family went to Changi Airport for lunch yesterday.. We first ate at the food court then went to Swensens for some ice cream.. My father ordered the gigantic earthquake for my sis n I.. I really loved all the flavour of ice cream on it.. Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate, Cappuchino, Peppermint interspersed with cream bearing succulent red cherries on top.. I was so full after eating that I could barely walk.. Worse still, my dad went to order this yaki tori set and we had to finish for him.. Thank goodness i went to exercise at my condo's gym at 10 pm at night.. or else I wouldn't have fitted into my jeans anymore. 

~

My father drove us around Nanyang Girls', St Nick's, and Anderson Secondary to look at my sis's potential future school.. Unfortunately all three were close due to it being a public holiday yesterday.. Sad.. was thinking of exploring the schools.. Felt like a pig coz I kept sleeping on the car due to boredom.. Hee

~

I am leaving for Australia on Friday, at 8 pm, Changi Airport Terminal 2 Row 10... I don't know whether I will be able to blog for the whole period of time frm 28th Nov to 15th Dec.. Brenda has volunteered to help me blog.. Guess I will send my blogs to her if I have time to write in the first place. In the mean time, if u guys miss me/have anything to tell me, just send to my hotmail account: [email protected] I will try to reply as much as possible. Don't think anyone will send me off at the airport (other than my mum n sis) but pple.. just say goodbye or something by giving me a tag or sms yah? so that I won't feel so lonely...

~me~ at 2.05 PM 

Tuesday, 24th November 2003

Went mass blog-reading just now coz I was really bored.. Just realised how I had missed out on so many interesting parts of everyone's life.. It's nice to find out how everyone has been doing during the hols.. so I won't feel so isolated n detached with the rest of the world... 

~

Leaving for oasis in 4 days.. I still feel so unprepared.. Had this meeting at 8 in the morning today.. I didn't really talk much coz I wasn't familiar with the pple n Ming Jun was not there.. I am afraid that this will be the way I stay throughout the entire trip.. Fearful that pple will not talk to me coz they don't want to hear wat I say.. Used to be like this in rgs.. Then even when I have something to say most of the time I will just swallow it n listen to pple.. compromising my true character.. 

~ 

I'm appalled by how hypocritical I can actually be.. Saw banana tan at the staffroom today and I was asking him whether he will be teaching our class next year.. He said "yes".. then my kepo Photog teacher Mdm Ching said what I asked can mean two things.. so banana tan was asking me whether I don't want him to teach us.. And I just faked in a sweet tone.. "Of coz not.. I was just afraid you will not be able to teach us anymore.. coz we changed teachers for chem n gp.. " He is a nice teacher.. Really thoughtful and constantly trying to improve his way of teaching.. But our class just doesn't understand what he says. I think it is very hard, both for us and him. Oh well, better accept the fact that he's going to teach us again and move on with life... Find alternative solutions.. like a physics tutor? some prc bf who's a genius at physics? hmmz.. Anyway still feel v sick at myself for being so fake.. My mum says we get more complicated as we grow up.. I may be worse in the future.. but.. I don't want to be like this... 

~

Watching Matrix rev in the afternoon (Now being 1 something at night).. finally.. After like the whole world has watched it at least once.. going out with brenda, amanda n possibly her sis.. Hope it will be fun! :)

~me~ looking wistful at 1.21 AM 

Sunday, 23rd November 2003

I know why you like her now. Finally. I didn't understand before but I am starting to understand now. It is only natural to like someone who knows you inside out, your likes, dislikes, habits, dreams, ambitions...Everything abt u. I admit I don't understand anyone that well yet. Not to such a great extent. Can tell why you say she WAS close to you now. If you like her go for it, I will be behind you all the way.

~me~ at 2.00 AM

Saturday, 22nd November 2003

Two big things happened today.. 1) My TERP presentation and 2) Release of PSLE results...

~

TERP presentation is finally over. I was so happy when the whole thing came to an end. Today when I went out of house I stupidly left my thumb drive behind.. and it contained my presentation! In the end, I had to trouble my dad to return to get it. Terence came to support us today... it was quite unexpected. But it was a nice gesture on his part.. and being nice got him good rewards. He met his NJ "girlfriend" unexpectedly on the bus to NTU and they went for lunch together.. It's fate I guess.. Anyway our presentation was scheduled to be the last in our LT.. made me so nervous.. Sat with bated breath throughout many incomprehensible presentations. There was this irritating professor who kept asking questions to stump the presenters, so Xin ru and I were discussing whether we should poison him haha.. finally when it came to our presentation, I paused awkwardly at a part, and Xin ru thought it was the next part.. so she said something that did not coincide with the ppt... We were too nervous I think.. Din't even look at the ppt handout that we brought... Our presentation was otherwise fine.. The professors seemed quite interested in our project and in marketing it etc.. Haha.. We left this big loophole there for pple to ask questions.. And when they did, we just read out our rehearsed answer...

~

My sister got 257 for her PSLE. Yay! Our family is so happy for her.. Eunice, you did well! Keep up the good work haha... The way she described PSLE, abt how she had screwed up for both her Science and Chinese, made us really worried that she could not even get at least 240. Thank goodness, she was just being da jing xiao guai again. I vaguely remembered the last time she said she will fail her piano exam and in the end she got a high distinction of 91.. Diao~ Shall not believe her in the future. Anyway I am really very happy for her. She is going St Nick's.. Can't go to school with me next time... But it's all right. St Nick's produces nice pple like Ma yi, Khai qing and Li fang :)

~

Today I finally realised how friendship is so much more important that the elusive romance I had been looking so hard for. For many pple, it is a much more comfortable feeling being friends with them coz you can just say anything you want without feeling awkward, or watching your words so that you create the best impression. Maybe I matured.. I don't know.

~me~ with a self-satisfied grin at 5.35 PM

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It is amazing how different people can have the same experiences and develop different perspectives about it.. Read hu wei's blog abt the outing and found really different stuff from mine.. Interesting.. Anyway I think Ner's toilet is really romantic too.. There was no light and it had to be lighted with aromatic candles that both looked n smelled nice.. and the door couldn't lock.. I wonder whether it was intended for anyone before he came.. hmm... finally finished me terp liao.. *yawns*

~me~ zzzzzzing at 2.31 AM

Friday, 21st November 2003

Today for TERP we walked from North Spine to South Spine just to practise our TERP presentation.. Tot it's a formal thing in which everyone will just go there n listen to instructions.. In the end when we went to the LTs at 1 pm.. we were like the only ones there.. diao~ Turned out the Lts were just booked for us to practise ourselves.. We kept trying to find a ringtone midi online.. but to no avail.. Stupid computer played tantrums on us n refused to play the midis after the first few successful times.. we decided on the "final countdown" in the end.. got our lin2 gan3 from the SMP presentation we watched two yrs ago.. Anyway saw others' groups ppts.. think our grp is the most comprehensible n most attractive.. yay! aiming for the presentation prize.. hope we can get it...

~

Went Ner's home for the volunteers' outing today.. for those who go Toa Payoh Care Corner.. Coz I was late.. when I went to the Toa Payoh Interchange I was very lost.. Thank goodness I saw the bunch of guys fr my class.. otherwise I would have been wandering around like a lost sheep.. Anyway think it was quite fun today coz we kept niaoing Ner and Terence... Haha.. it's nice to see them look kek.. We played Wacko to try to get to noe each other.. n whenever I was the one hitting I will be very confused coz everyone will just start to call each other's name at once.. Hu wei and Qishan kept sabo-ing each other.. so funny... The volunteers' are basically separated into 60 pple, 63 pple n 34 pple.. Know almost all the 34 pple but still dun really noe the 60 pple yet.. Think the guys there r not bad looking haha.. Anyway during dinner we tried to baka to make Ter n Ner sit together.. In the end Ner didn't sit with us.. so sad... haha... After dinner we went to play cards.. and Ter and I won against Hu wei and Shuang ning even though we needed 9 sets.. haha.. must be coz we are xiong1 di4 (brothers).. Then we played 7-pple asshole daidee.. The worst part of the night was this stupid game in which we were divided into groups of 4 n had to balance ourselves on a piece of newspaper.. which needed to be folded into half again n again.. I was damn suay to get a grp with 3 other guys inside.. Best.. N my grp had me n Hu wei.. so Terence kept saying we will lose.. hate this game lor.. had to hug the guys really close n be in such proximity that even breathing is difficult.. and I don't usually get THAT close to guys normally..  being the conservative person that I am... In the end we did lose lah.. but we tried our best.. Used the laws of physics and we all tried to lean back as far as possible.. And it worked! For a while at least..

~me~ back to terp-ing at 12.49 AM

Thursday, 20th November 2003

Yesterday couldn't blog coz of the archive thing.. thank goodness I sort of figured a way around it today.. yay :) anyway pple.. how do u like my blog now? must tell me it is nice hor... 

~

Today I got quite touched twice while I was doing CIP. One was the one at Chesire Home in the morning.. For the last few times I had gone.. I had refused to open up to the pple there.. choosing to help them in whatever ways I can but talking as little as possible... Today when Shuang Ning and I went, we were playing "aeroplane chess" with a few of the disabled residents there.. n I even got to mix quite well with two of the Malay guys there.. Found out that they r just like any of us.. With normal concerns abt whether they will look nice when they go to Orchard Rd etc... Felt guilty that I never really got to talk to them better last times I went.. When they asked me for my hp no, I hesitated.. Then I felt bad for hesitating.. I mean, it wasn't like they were going to call me everyday.. And even if they do.. so what? From talking to them I could sense their loneliness.. How they longed for company.. How they treated going to Orchard as a big event.. coz to them.. it is only once in a year.. I began to realise how lucky I am to be able to walk.. n see things.. such that I begin to take things for granted... Promised one of them I will burn the Evanescence CD for him.. Will need Brenda's help on that... :)

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2nd time I got really touched was when I went to do CIP for the Buskers' festival at Orchard today.. Today's performances were really splendid.. be it amusing clown antics, death-defying skateboard acts, marvellous magic shows, or the juggling act in the end.. I could feel that the performers all tried their best in giving their audience the best entertainment they could produce.. And we.. we showed our support by cheering whenever they did something shocking.. and when they asked us to.. Today's audience (outside rolex centre) was a good audience.. and we had wonderful performers.. I especially liked the skateboard guy coz he was very skilful with the skateboard and infected us with his bursting enthusiasm.. The last performer, all the way from France, was very humorous and made us laughed non-stop.. He was very good in juggling, could make do with four clubs, or even four knives.. and could balance himself on a ladder while playing a tuba.. Wow.. I was thinking his cerebellum must be very developed.. Haha.. reason why I said it's a good audience.. Many of us really enjoyed the performances.. and they showed it by generously donating... there was not once when my hat was not full with pple's donations.. Even though most of them donated coins or at most 2 dollars.. it was the thought that counts... While I was going home.. I looked at Orchard's lightings.. and realised how much nicer it looked compared to last yr... Suddenly felt this urge to take photos.. I shall bring a camera on Saturday...

~

TERP is getting more and more like PW.. Nvm.. Presentation is on Saturday.. Hope it turns out well...

~me~ falling asleep at 3.36 AM 

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 Arghh! Someone help! I am not free everyday this week.. and I mean everyday! My schedule is filled to the brim with me rushing off to different places in the morning, afternoon and night… Rushing around like a headless chicken.. Why headless? Prob coz I am so busy I have no time n no energy to think abt anything else.. maybe this is good to a certain extent.. Why chicken? Maybe coz Ner says I look like a mother hen.. Whatever… I really wish for someday when I can just enjoy the luxury of having nothing to do.. taking in the fact that I can slack.. n relax.. finally.. 

~ 

Today (or yesterday for that matter) I skipped Orchard CIP to shop around at Jurong Point with Xin ru.. I needed a break.. needed to rest n relax for a while to recharge my overworked brains.. Ended up seeing a lot of nice things there.. The shopping centre is very self-sufficient, with a wide array of eateries and children shops.. I even saw this rabbit that I had loved since I set my eyes to it at Cards n Such.. It’s this rabbit that has a carrot joined to its mouth.. Really very cute… J The last time I saw it was at Cards n Such in Northpoint.. Din’t really expect to see it again.. Too bad I couldn’t find the pink one or else I would have bought it straightaway.. Maybe I will put it in my wish list… Haha.. btw pple rite.. the wish list is not something to hint at what I want pple to buy for me for xmas or whatever.. it just serves as something to remind me of what I want just in case my parents don’t know what to buy for my bday next yr or something.. n it’s nice to wish for something.. even though I may never get it…

 ~ 

Xin ru (my TERP partner) said I will scold her in my blog.. coz she went offline liao while I’m still doing the TERP ppt.. No lah.. I where got so evil.. In fact I must thank her for helping me make the archive thing.. so pple dun need to scroll all the way down to see my past blogs n get sian.. Oh yah.. the pink scroll bar is all thanks to her too.. Haha.. but now there’s a big problem.. I can’t really blog.. so need her help to post entries until I know what to do abt it.. Coz on frontpage I see nothing..

~me~ going to cont with terp at 1.59 AM

Tuesday, 18th November, 2003

Wha.. today's terp really can peng lor.. we went there n the prof was not in the office.. tried to go to the comp lab n it was occupied... in the end heang yee n I were sitting at the canteen talking n crapping n trying to get a little bit of work done... When we went to the boon lay interchange still had a lot of time left, so I went Hu wei's house.. haha.. self-navigated my way to his house from the interchange.. even though it was a 10 minutes walk... when I reached the playground opposite his house.. i got lost n called him... n his house was just opposite.. diao~.. Anyway his house is very nice.. got a quiet n quaint ambience... maybe because of the lights shining from his huge fish tanks.. wha.. his room is a cd n comics haven lor.. he can fall asleep reading comics.. awake to music booming from his cds.. zai.. my bedroom is just a bedroom n wardrobe.. nothing more.. 

~

Anyway, found him to be quite a mature person.. Throughout the mrt trip he kept saying "kai xin jiu hao" abt 10 or more times.. haha.. his philosophy.. applies to many pple as well.. Sometimes it's better to just be yourself.. and live life this way.. You only live once.. why care abt what others feel n make yourself miserable? Heard some things abt pple from him.. dunnoe whether they r true.. shall observe myself and make my own conclusions... coz i dun want to pre-judge pple by others' comments.. 

~

Toa payoh cip today was quite fun.. Other than being with a hyperactive kid who kept asking me to carry her n kept being scared of me dropping her down.. i got to mix with a lot of new pple... like soon qishan, min lei, sheila n terence tjoi's frens.. I like the feeling of making new frens lor.. makes me feel hyped up.. n talking to kids as well.. sometimes when u see how innocent they r.. u jus can't help but smile uncontrollably.. should come more often if i can :) 

~me~ feeling happy at 11.37 PM 

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Overslept by 1 hr today.. in the end can't go for comm service coz I dun want to be late... Yesterday slept at 3 lor.. coz i was surfing and chatting n yun n din't feel like sleeping... Haha next time don't sleep so late liao...

~

Sometimes you may feel like everything is going wrong in ur life.. like the whole world is out to get u.. that u r the dumbest in the world... dun worry... cheer up.. No matter what happens, ur friends will always be there to lend a helping ear... :) Stay cheerful and optimistic.. and everything will be better in the end.. coz at least u r facing things with the right perspectives...

~

Really busy nowadays.. Arghh.. want to scream at the top of my voice lor.. Next few days' schedule is packed to the brim.. Let you take a glance at my schedule to understand how wretched i feel.. Today, TERP in the afternoon, Toa payoh care corner at night.. Tmr, TERP in the afternoon, Orchard CIP at night.. Thu, Chesire home in the morn, TERP in the afternoon, prob watching matrix rev at night... Fri, TERP in the afternoon, Outing at Ner's house at night.. Sat, TERP presentation in the afternoon, Orchard CIP at night... That's why I said I have no time to rest n relax... How I wish I can just sleep late one day.. n have the whole day ahead of me to do stuff... 

~me~ looks dreamily into space at 10.30 AM

Monday,  17th November, 2003

Shuang ning commented that the first paragraph of my blog is "cryptic, and caustic".. Reminded me of a long-forgotten time when I used to send not very nice mails to my friends... using very acidic language.. directly hurting them in the process.. I dun do that anymore.. but the guilt is still burnt deep within me.. making me feel bad everytime someone comments that my comments are hurtful.. for u-noe-who-u-r, sorry abt the blog entry yesterday.. suddenly feel v bad for writing something so hurtful... have decided to forget abt it n start afresh liao.. :) 

~

Comm service at chesire home today.. only me, shuang ning, yuan ye n xing mao were there.. Haha it is one of the most fulfilling days i guess.. had endless clothes to fold for pple.. I just discovered that the pple there are really talented... There was someone who sculpted this lifesize dog with clay that looked just like its real life image in the photo.. As for elaine, this woman whom I was folding clothes for.. she could paint really nice cards.. I even bought one from her... Oh well.. looking at pple with good artistic talent makes me feel bad at my lack of it.. haha

~me~ at 10.46 PM