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| When the disciple is in a state of Error... but is none the less a human being, and now receives the condition and the Truth, he does not become a human being for the first time, since he was a man already. But he becomes another man; not in the frivolous sense of becoming another individual of the same quality as before, but in the sense of becoming a man of a different quality, or as we may call him: a new creature. [Philosophical Fragments] When you are looked upon as, and in fact are, a person of independent means, people have a strong desire to say to you: "f I were in your place, I know how I'd arrange my life" they then tell you and you realize they have virtually no idea of anything; while, in order to live, they become grocers, chimney-sweeps, artists, preachers, etc. [846] Where does one get such thoughts? I do not know, but one thing I do know: I didn't read them or get them from someone else. ["About Myself", 13 October, 1853] Who has held in his hand the magic lamp and yet has not felt that swooning of delight at the thought that one only needs to wish? [Stages on Life's Way] ...who historically died of a mortal disease, but poetically died of a longing for eternity, where he would have nothing to do save uninterruptedly to give thanks to God. [The Point of View] With humble prayers and burning desires you sought, as it were, to tempt God: This wish is so important to me; my joy, my peace, my future, all depend on this; for me it is so very important, for God it is so easy, for He is all-powerful. But the wish was not fulfilled. Vainly you sought rest; you left nothing untried in your unfruitful restlessness; you ascended the dizzy heights of anticipation to see if a possibility might not appear. If you believed that you saw such a possibility, then you were immediately ready with prayers, that by the help of these you might create the actual from the apparent. Still it was an illusion. You descended again and gave yourself up to the stupefying exhaustion of sorrow, while time went on as it always does. And the morning came, and the evening, but the day you desired did not dawn. And still you made every effort, you prayed early and late, more and more fervently, more and more temptingly. Alas, it still did not come to pass! And you gave up, you would dispose your soul to patience, you would wait in quiet longing, if only your soul might be assured that eternity would bring you your wish, bring you that which was the delight of your eyes and your heart's desire. Alas, this certainty too was denied you. But when the busy thoughts had worked themselves weary, when the fruitless wishes had exhausted your soul, then perhaps your being became more quiet, then perhaps your heart, secretly and unnoticed, had developed in itself the meekness which received the word which was implanted in you and which was able to save your soul, that every good and perfect gift cometh from above. Then you acknowledged in all humility that God had certainly not deceived you, since He accepted you, since He accepted your earthly wishes and foolish desires, exchanged them for you and gave you instead heavenly consolation and holy thoughts; that He did not treat you unfairly when He denied you your wish, but for compensation created this faith in your heart; when instead of the wish, which even if it could do everything was at most able to give you the whole world, He gave you a faith through which you gained God and overcame the whole world. [Two Edifying Discourses] |
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