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| FRED ALLEN |
| �A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.� �A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.� �An actor�s popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.� �An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.� �California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.� �Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.� �Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.� �Hollywood--a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.� �I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.� �I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself there.� �I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.� �Imitation is the sincerest form of television.� �Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done.� (on the radio program The Big Show, Dec. 17, 1950) �Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small you could put them in a gnat's navel with room for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.� ("CoEvolution Quarterly", Winter, 1977) �There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?� �What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?� |