Time Of Day:
Early In The Morning
A multitude of colors. Red. Yellow. Pink. Purple. Blue. Orange. Sunburst of the day beginning. It is early in the morning. She can hear the chirping of birds, a bicycle rings by and there's the rattle of shops opening. The day has just begun. She's in that realm between sleep and wakefulness; groggy with the memory of her dreams. The covers are pulled higher, the bed is warm and she snuggles deeper into the blankets refusing to wake up. If she closes her eyes real tight maybe she can recapture the moment, live the dream once more. She tries. Her eyes are shut, she lets her mind wander on her last dream thought. It's there, so close, but she is unable to capture it. It is too late now. She hates this moment between night and day, sleep and wake. During the day she is busy, constantly busy. There are always things to do, things that need to be done. There is never any time to spare, no time to think. During the night she can sink into the obilvion of sleep. Sometimes she will dream and the dreams are happy. She can create her own world, a parallel universe with a different timeline. But this moment, this realm between sleep and wake where night and day collide and reality takes over from the dreams is the worse. Half asleep, half awake she knows what she is missing and what she longs for.
Joey's eyelids flutter open and she knows without a doubt that she is not alone. She can feel his arms wound tightly around her, his breath is gently tickling her neck, his face is buried in her hair and his eyes are watching her intently.
"Pacey are you awake?"
Pacey doesn't answer and when Joey turns his eyes are closed.
"Pacey...oh Pace....time to wake up."
Instead a little fake snore emerges. Joey bites back a laugh as she rolls her eyes at Pacey's childish games. Deliberately she makes a move to leave the bed.
"Oh I guess you're asleep. I'll just have to leave you alone in this big, lonesome bed while I get up. I mean it is such a lovely day and it would be wasted staying inside. And it looks like you're not going to get up anytime soon....."
Joey gives a yelp as Pacey's arms pull her back towards him, their bodies roll across the bed so she is pinned underneath him.
"Don't even think about leaving woman."
"Oh! You're awake! I thought you were asleep."
"I was asleep until you woke me up with your incessant chattering. D/amn it woman can't a man get his sleep nowadays?!?"
"Oh I'm so sorry your majesty. I forgot the King needs his precious sleep seeing as he's not as young as he used to be. Now you're just old and tired with no stamina. So right, you need your sleep. Plenty of sleep. I shouldn't have tried to get you up."
Pacey growls.
"Baby, never insult my manhood. Especially when you know you're talking s/hit. There's nothing wrong with my stamina... And as for trying to get me up, darlin', you don't even have to try. I'm already up."
Pacey rubs his lower body suggestively into Joey's as she gasps at the feel of him. He uses her momentary surprise against her as he mouth descends locking them both into a passionate embrace as his hands wander and Joey's nightshirt is quickly unbuttoned. His boxers are pushed away and they lie naked on the bed. Joey is squirming beneath him and Pacey can hear what sounds like a protest. He pulls back in mock annoyance.
"What now woman? First you complain that I'm not up and now that I am you complain! Is there no satisfying you?"
Joey gives Pacey a coy seductive look.
"Oh there are ways of satisfying me. Many different numerous ways which I'm prepared to teach you."
"So what's the problem then."
Joey gives Pacey another look, one filled with exasperation.
"Morning breath."
She says the word as if it explains everything and as if Pacey is incredibly stupid for not having realised the problem. This time it is Pacey who mutters under his breath as he picks up Joey's naked form and half slings her around his shoulder. Casually walking as if it is an everyday normal occurrence to stride around naked with your equally naked girlfriend across your shoulder, Pacey enters the bathroom. He sits Joey down onto the sink as he proceeds to put toothpaste on his toothbrush. He alternates from brushing his own teeth to brushing Joey's. Their teeth are cleaned very quickly. Pacey kisses Joey again.
"There. Nice and minty fresh just for you Potter."
Joey runs her tongue across Pacey's teeth tasting the flavor of toothpaste.
"Hmm...not bad...not bad at all."
Her legs open wide as she wraps each leg around the back of Pacey pulling him closer to her. They kiss some more, their tongues duelling. The sink is low and the tap swivels to the left so Joey's back is comfortably resting on the mirror/medicine cabinet. From his position Pacey can see himself kissing Joey. He has two visions of Joey's head tilting back, her face filled with mindless pleasure. Pacey's hands reach down so that they are cupping Joey's buttocks and he lifts her lower body up as he enters her. Joey can feel the coldness of glass on her back and the fullness of Pacey inside of her. Their positions are somewhat awkward but neither are concerned about that fact at this moment. Instead they are both intent on one another. Joey's nails dig deep into Pacey's skin, her legs wrapped tightly around his back as he enters and reenters her. His thrusts are shallow, their positions only allowing for short, quick movements. She can feel him trembling within her. She trembles within. It finishes all too quickly but then comes her favorite part. He carries into the shower and they let the water rain down upon them. Joey relishes Pacey's touch as he encircles the soap across her body creating a foamy lather. Pacey soaps her legs, her arm, her chest, her back, her neck. Joey returns the favor. The soap trails down the toned muscles of his chest leaving a path of foam behind it. She moves the soap up and down his legs, stroking his thighs, watching as the water cleanses. When they kiss, here in the shower, it is gentle and sweet. There is passion and there is love. It is their early morning ritual. It is a ritual of love and worship.
The water beats down hard. The soap has disappeared down the drain. It is only Joey in the shower. It is early in the morning and Pacey's gone. Gone like the soap. She can feel the tears falling but they too are washed away, down the drain. The water has just turned cold but still she stands there. She let's the ice fall down onto her skin chilling her. She's freezing now but that's okay. It is how she's mean to be cold, chilly, the Ice Queen. She's freezing herself into an ice crystal statue of a woman. Hard. Cold. Impenetrable. To touch her is to freeze. She is frostbite.
"What's wrong with you Jo? Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what?"
"So cold. So distant."
"I am? I didn't realise."
"Jo what's the matter? What's going on?"
Her hands moves forward tightly turning the hot water tap off. Her hands move once more as the cold water pours down in full blast. There's goosebump all along her skin. She observes nonchantly as the hairs on her hand stand high. Her body shivers instinctively but Joey doesn't feel the cold.
"What's wrong? Nothing's wrong. Not a single thing."
"Jo, something is wrong. Why don't you talk to me? Tell me how I can help."
"No need to help Pacey. You've done all the helping to last a lifetime. Your work is done."
"Jo, you're not making any sense. Could you please....."
His voice trails off. There's realisation in his eyes. She should feel happy that he now realises. She should feel bitter. She should be angry or sad or upset or betrayed or anything at all. Joey feels nothing. She feels nothing but the iciness that surroundness her heart. If she touches him he will freeze. She's that cold now. Cold enough to freeze.
Pacey opens his mouth and Joey knows an explanation is coming. An explanation of how they weren't technically together at the time. How Joey had been the one to initiate a momentary break in their relationship and that if Joey had never asked for a break then none of this would happen. He'll tell her how he was drunk. Pacey will say he wasn't thinking. That he had only meant to help a friend. That he never meant to end up lying in the so called friend's bed, naked and exhausted, after a moment of sexual gratification. He'll give her those big blue puppy eyes of his and tell her that it meant nothing. Tell Joey how sorry he is. And then there'll be all the logic and reasoning, all those sensible practical arguments about how they weren't together, how things had been unusually tense between them, how Joey had flirted with other men as well. But flirting isn't the same. And Joey's been through all these arguments in her head. They've haunted her ever since she found out. Yet Joey knows as soon as Pacey opens his mouth and the words come out she'll forgive him in an instant. She loves him too much not to.
Pacey's mouth is open.
There's silence.
The words never come.
Joey's standing there waiting for him to say something. To say anything. Waiting to forgive.
His hand reaches out, touching her chest, touching her heart. Then Pacey's retreating, further and further away. There's a frostbitten look about him. He's freezing and she's cold. It's a nice summer's day.
The next time they meet this time Joey's the one whose leaving. Not a word is said. There's only silence. And when she finally leaves there's only a trail of footprints in the snow to show that she once was there.
The Ice Queen. Her heart is made of ice. An ice that not even the sun can melt. She leaves a path of coldness behind her. She's left him behind, perpetually cold. But he made her this way. He made her and he named her. Crowned and throned her the Ice Queen long before it's meaning truly came into effect. Finally she turns the tap off and she's getting ready to begin the day. It's still early though.
She dresses quickly and applies her make up. There's almost a warm human look about her. She's in disguise. The sun is slowly rising higher and higher into the sky and it looks like it will be a clear blue sunny day. It's still rather early in the morning. She decides to walk to work today. The apartment is too big, too luxurious and too empty. Her bed is devoid of Pacey. It's too cold in here. Her own ice palace.
Early in the morning. Joey leaves the apartment and begins to walk. The morning rays of sun shines down upon her. Maybe today the ice will melt. Or not.