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My friend Refinnej says a lot of... interesting things. Here I've put down some of her most offensive sayings. At the bottom I will include contact information, so you can email, phone, or visit her!
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Offensive Thing #12
"The Helen Keller Experience"
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Offensive Thing #11
Lossendaewen: Do you have a lot of Asians there?
Lossendaewen: like Asian Asians
Lossendaewen: that don't really speak English
Yay for Stalin: Yeah
Yay for Stalin: And fake Asians
Yay for Stalin: Asian Asians
Lossendaewen: Yeah...
Lossendaewen: lol
Lossendaewen: Well, we have an "Asian Express" down here
Lossendaewen: so I think they have like underground tunnels or something
Lossendaewen: and the center of the earth is actually like this Asian utopia
Yay for Stalin: hahaha
Lossendaewen: cause those Asians are pretty smart
Lossendaewen: and I bet they're good at digging
Yay for Stalin: I bet
Lossendaewen: except for 10,000
Lossendaewen: cause he's in the wall
Lossendaewen: Unless he dug his way out
Lossendaewen: that'd be pretty spiffy
Yay for Stalin: Maybe that's why they started digging
Yay for Stalin: To get 10,000
Lossendaewen: I bet! Cause if you're named 10,000 I bet you're pretty important to the Asian society
Yay for Stalin: You must be
Yay for Stalin: So they got him and then went to the center of the earth
Lossendaewen: I bet that's what happened to Atlantis too...
Lossendaewen: the Asians stole it
Yay for Stalin: hahaha
Yay for Stalin: Must have
Lossendaewen: Wow...
Lossendaewen: that was a pretty horrible conversation
Yay for Stalin: yeah...
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Offensive Thing #10
Refinnej's Version of "On My Own" From the musical, Les Miserables
Sung preferrably in a "middle-eastern" accent
On my own, pretending Allah is beside me
All alone, I ride my camel in morning
Without my camel, I get tumors...
And when I loose my way, I close my eyes and get bombed by stupid Americans
In the sand, my head gets hot because I forgot my towel
All the American bombs make me think I am on LSD
In the darkness, the trees are full of American bombs...
All I see is my camel and me forever and forever.
But I know it is only from a hallucination
I am talking to the penguin that I smuggled from the zoo
Even though I know he is blinded from American bombs
Still I say, Allah will help us.
Ahh! The Americans are bombing! Ahhh!
*KABOOOOOOOM*
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Offensive Thing #9
"My hamster is like the Terri Schiavo of my house."
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Offensive Thing #8
Refinnej's Version of "God On High" from Les Miserables
"God is high
He stole my weed."
(the end)
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Offensive Thing #7
Me: Guys, who played Hagrid in the Harry Potter movies?
Refinnej: Jesus?
Me: No, Jen, Jesus wasn't an actor. That was Nero.
Refinnej: Oh, I get them confused sometimes.
Me: Yeah, they are similar.
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Offensive Thing #6
Two words: Baby Windchimes.
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Offensive Thing #5
Lossendaewen: Then I decided if I ever become a serial killer I'd make it completely obvious that I was there to kill the person
Lossendaewen: and then when they start screaming and begging for their life
Lossendaewen: I'd be like "Are you scared?" and they would obviously would respond with "yes" I'd be like "You shouldn't be... you're on Scare Tactics"
Lossendaewen: then they would start laughing and be all happy and everything
Lossendaewen: and I would proceed to kill them
Lossendaewen: but in a slow manner...
Lossendaewen: so their last words would be "They don't show this part on TV"
Yay for Stalin: hahahah
Yay for Stalin: That's awesome
Lossendaewen: you could help if you wanted to... I would need someone to run out with a camera...
Lossendaewen: but then we would have to tape reruns of Three's Company overtop of the footage
Yay for Stalin: Sure, sounds like fun
Yay for Stalin: Except for taping over it
Yay for Stalin: We could send it into "America's Funniest Home Videos"
Lossendaewen: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Lossendaewen: YES!
Lossendaewen: and on the return address thing, put someone that we don't like there
Lossendaewen: or like the White House or something like that
Yay for Stalin: YEAH!
Yay for Stalin: Make the return address say "Dubya"
Lossendaewen: HAHAHAHA!!
Lossendaewen: written in crayon
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Offensive Thing #4
"ATTENTION FELLOW JESUS FANS: HAIL ARAGORN, SON OF ARATHORN, THE TRUE KING!"
-Refinnej, combining "Hail Aragorn, Son of Arathorn, the True King" and "Attention Fellow Jesus fans: Easter is cancelled."
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Offensive Thing #3
"It just occurred to me how much "Virgin Mary" or "Holy Virgin Mary" sounds like a stripper name..."
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Offensive Thing #2
Refinnej: "You know, the new McDonald's chicken nuggets are like Michael Jackson too... now they're all white too! ... So... since Michael Jackson is Jesus... then when you eat Chicken Nuggets at McDonald's, you're eating Jesus!"
Me: "So, you don't even have to go to church anymore to do that!"
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Offensive Thing #1
"I was watching a thing on Michael Jackson the other day, and he reminded me of Jesus. Cause Jesus loves the little children too. And some people say the Jesus is black, and some people say he's white. And they both have long-ish hair. I wonder if Michael Jackson is actually Jesus in disguise... Jesus wouldn't be very good at disguises then. I bet he abducted little black Michael Jackson and then got a mask or something and pretended to be Michael Jackson. Jesus must be color blind."
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Contact Refinnej!
Because I am evil, here is Refinnej's AIM SN:
MistressC0lumbia
Yes, the "0" is a ZERO. Now IM her.
EMAIL HER AT:
[email protected]
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