(Like) I’m On Glue   by Devin Ens

 

You think I’m quiet, but I gotta be frank

When I’m around you I just sorta go blank

You think I’m polite, but it’s just that I’m so scared

 

You think I’m clever, but I’m not such a bard

I’m just reciting off a greeting card

‘Cos I couldn’t ever stand to face you unprepared

 

And when I first saw you, my IQ dropped so low

I couldn’t figure where the comma should go

Right then and there, I had to admit what I knew

That when I’m ‘round you

It’s like I’m on glue.

 

When I see you out in the hall

I always end up running into a wall

And when you smile, I end up losing a tooth

 

Well, I don’t think I’ve ever been such a putz

But you could make my Tai Chi master a clutz

And you could make a dupe of the smartest sleuth

 

And some people say that I’m over the top

But I’m at the bottom of a big long drop

Splat on the pavement, like a frog out of the blue

‘Cos when I’m ‘round you

It’s like I’m on glue.

 

Doo-doo-doo…

 

Well, I’m kind of embarrassed how I fell so quick

But if you think that I’m laying it on thick

You should hear the stuff I’m holding back

When I approach you, I melt like lard

I turn into a total retard

And every faculty starts to go out of whack

 

And the next time I see you, I hope I don’t hurl

‘Cos you make me more nervous than any girl

And if you get into me, I hope I know what to do

‘Cos when I’m ‘round you

It’s like I’m on glue

‘Slike I’m on glue.

 

©2002 D.L.Ens