Short Stories

Copyright 1999 by Nora M. Mulligan

You know what they say I am, but of course you don't believe that. I wouldn't expect you to believe such silly stories. Not you. Not the man who has written those wonderful articles about popular superstitions.

Oh, yes, of course I can read. That wasn't part of the story, either, was it? Well, you know, you can't count on the populace to get all the details right.

Yes, I'll wait. Do set up all your apparatus. That's why I came here, to give you the opportunity you so dearly want. At least, you've been saying that you want it. You are feeling well, aren't you? You looked a little pale there for a moment. I wouldn't want it said that you were ill.

Now, really, there's no need for you to roll your chair back like that. You're a man of science. You don't believe all that nonsense, do you? But if it will make you feel better, I'll wait over here. Turn the spotlight that way, if you please. That's my good side. Not that your film will be all that clear, I'm afraid. Something about me just doesn't photograph well. You're not the first one to try, you know.

Who? Oh, Williams, of course. Yes, we had a very pleasant conversation. I wish you could have talked with him yourself, but you know how these things are. Poor man. So weak, as it turned out. You're not like that, are you?

Is it cold in here? Naturally, I wouldn't notice. That is one of the things they say about me, but I've never been able to test it myself. After all, if I bring in the cold air, then I wouldn't feel it, would I? You have to be logical about these things. But why am I telling you that? You know all about logic, don't you? Nice thermometer. Twenty degrees lower? Well, I am flattered. One likes to think one is effective. By all means, put on the sweater. You might miss something if your teeth are chattering that way.

I must admit that I was the tiniest bit put out when you set up your laboratory here. Really, I thought it showed a bit of - what shall we call it? Insensitivity? Rudeness? Modesty is a desirable trait in anyone, even in a scientist. Perhaps especially in a scientist, now that I think about it.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy science. It has its limitations, but you're familiar with those, aren't you?

Please, not so strident a tone. I'm not deaf, you know. I can hear you perfectly. I didn't realize you were in a hurry. Have you an urgent appointment? I have all the time in the world, as you know. In this world and the next, in fact. You will forgive my little joke. So few people are willing to converse with me that sometimes I just feel the need to exercise my conversational skills. All this howling and moaning, you know, it's very effective, but one does get tired of it.

Oh, yes, what was I saying? About your laboratory, that's right. I can understand your disregarding the local folklore, even though, as you see, it was reasonably accurate. Why would you believe the people who live here? What was it you called them? "Inbred, socially retarded slackjaws," that was it.

I told you I can read. Why are you so surprised that I have read your private correspondence? You have been attempting to study me, so I was studying you. I thought you were aware of it. Or perhaps that's just a tic of yours, the way you whirl around in your chair, your eyes bugging out. Not your most attractive pose, by the way. You might want to work on that. I didn't expect you to see me, not in my natural state, or supernatural state if you prefer. But I did think you were a bit more sensitive to my presence.

My dear man, it really is too late for that. And I don't want you to recant, either. How crude do you think I am? It really is a pity that you weren't able to talk to Williams. They don't allow him visitors there, and I suppose they have their reasons. I have stopped in, once or twice, just to see his progress, but I'm afraid it will be a long time before I can have another conversation with him.

If you'd been able to talk to him, though, you might have been more inclined to take his advice seriously. He knew, even before our conversation, that I am not just a story told by idiots, as you so charmingly put it. You were a trifle short with him, weren't you? I suppose you're sorry for it now. In fact, I imagine you were sorry for your tone when you heard about his change of address.

You weren't? My, you are a hard one, aren't you? I confess, I rather liked Williams. I'm certainly sorry about what happened, though he did walk into this with his eyes opened, so to speak. Rather the same way you did, come to think of it.

Now, really, I had expected a little more sense from you. That apparatus of yours can't harm me. Even an elementary familiarity with the stories would have told you that. And look at the hole in the wall. Shame, shame. So careless, and in premises that you're merely renting, too.

You know, it really might have been more politic if you had moderated your language a bit, especially since you hadn't even made my acquaintance. Some of your phrases were, if you'll pardon my saying so, a trifle offensive. "Some trivial light show," for example. "Dimwitted bowdlerization of elements from similar tripe," for another example. How would you like to hear your existence described that way?

And your tests, really, they were most droll. You do realize, don't you, that none of this apparatus would have worked to record any of my behavior if I hadn't chosen to show myself. There is nothing in your entire arsenal that could force me to do anything I didn't choose to do.

No, you can't leave that way. Really, didn't you listen to any of the legends? I have always had the power to stopper the doors and windows. You can test the glass for yourself if you wish. Does that make you feel better? As a good scientist, I suppose you wouldn't want to take my word for it.

As I was saying, I chose to appear to you and have this little conversation, and I chose to allow your equipment to record our encounter. I don't guarantee the quality of the images, unfortunately. Your equipment, though ingenious, really isn't good enough to capture my reality.

Why am I doing this, then? Well, to put it bluntly, I would like a little privacy again. You are most persistent, aren't you? Even what happened to Williams didn't deter you. But I daresay that when reports of your experience, together with the reports about Williams, are publicized, people will be only too happy to avoid this area for years to come.

Come now, give me some credit for imagination. I have been doing this for quite a long time, you know. No, of course I won't do to you what I did to Williams. I told you, I liked Williams.

Oh, go ahead, scream if it will make you feel better. No one else will hear you, not until they listen to the tapes, of course, and by then it will be too late.

I should think you'd be glad to be of service to future generations. That's what science is all about, isn't it?