• 15/11/04 - Skanks •

As someone who’s incredibly body/style conscious, someone who is keenly aware of fashions, good or bad, I’d like to think I have an accurate opinion when it comes to addressing the nature of your regular garden variety skank. You know the types… aged 10-17, heck, aged 8- 80, they wander the shopping centres, dressed in nothing but the most inappropriate attire for the current weather/season. They have no shame. They don’t care if they’re size 6 or size 26, they think they’ve got it and they’ll be damned if they don’t attempt to flaunt it. But the public harming that occurs as a result of the way they choose to go about this “flaunting” is the basis for comment/criticism. Once again people need pay more attention to the fact that they are co-existing, sharing space, and the way in which they display themselves in public could potentially be scarring their fellow citizens. Oh the irony- they seem to be deterring the very same crowd that they were so eager to attract in the first place. I just realised how emotionally touchy I am about this subject, I’m gunna have to break it down folks.

SKANKS

Who?

Skanks are mothers, daughters, sisters, whores, sluts, retards, and generally people incapable of dressing themselves properly and behaving appropriately. See that skank, she went to school with you. She was the one who stank of cigarettes, bleached her own hair streaks for 6 years and still didn’t get how ugly it was, drank 2 stoleys at parties and pretended she was wasted so she could strategically fall out of her x2 push up bras and accidently eat the face of the closest thing that resembled the opposite sex. The who of skanks spans a large quantity of the youth of today, which is why we have no trouble spotting them here, there and everywhere, and lets face it, they aren’t exactly discreet/keep to themselves type people.

What?

Skanks are like fungus. It’s gross, you don’t want to know it exists, and it wont go away easily. Also sometimes it’s green. What they do, quite skilfully and shneakily, is infiltrate society via pop culture (tv personalities, pop singers, models, Paris Hilton) branch out commercially, and WHORE themselves to the young impressionable “tell me who to be” youths, who are more than willing to mould themselves to the ‘SKANK’ stereotype.

Wear?

Oh the best bit. The fashions. It’s really just anything goes. We’re talking mini skirts in winter and ugboots in summer. We’re talking skin tight casual on an overweight person and so-short-you-should-be-shot-slutwear formal on chicks as thin as rakes. We’re talking supré vs kmart vs imitation designer slut-offs. (slut-off being a homemade term used to describe when a designer’s piece is altered to flatter the needs of a skank (and made by children in factories in asia)… i.e from excessive amounts of glitter to entire sections of cloth being disregarded.) I’m so passionate about skanks it’s disturbing. It’s just so fascinating the levels to which they stoop to draw attention to themselves or to detract from the lack of brain cells in action. Or how they are so determined to prove their less is more theory and somehow still manage to humiliate themselves constantly when providing public showcases of all things butt crack like. Oh it makes me laugh and cry and laugh again.

How?

How do they get away with it? I have no idea. I spose there’ll always be a demographic for “half naked women in public”. How do they live with themselves? I guess they must be completely oblivious to the way they look. How do we live with them? I guess you either love to love them or love to hate them. I’d really like to meet someone who could block them out completely. That would be something worth striving for. Or else we could just set up a giant oasis of glitter and sequins, lace the area with remote detonator mines and wait for them to congregate…